Episode 121

A heavy silence filled the room for a moment.

I watched Lloydin, who was lost in thought with his eyes downcast.

Did my attempt to reassure him only make him more anxious?

Could he have understood the Crown Prince’s words in the same way I did?

It was highly likely.

There was no way Lloydin wouldn’t think of what I had considered.

“…Duke.”

When I called Lloydin in a cautious voice, his face, which was still held in my hands, met my gaze.

As expected, his dark eyes were deeper and lower than usual.

A mix of numerous emotions could be seen in them.

Anxiety, fear, emptiness, helplessness, and certainly, a possessiveness towards me were all present.

Being with Lloydin, through his words and actions, I came to understand.

Just as I cherished him, he cherished me too.

It was something that didn’t need to be explicitly stated to be understood.

And because of that, our marriage’s purpose and my resolve had completely changed from what I initially thought.

When I first considered marrying Lloydin, my top priority was curing my illness.

Since being free from the illness was the purpose of marriage and my only goal in life, it was quite natural.

Then, as I began to feel sympathy for him, my goals became twofold.

Helping Lloydin with my treatment and freeing his family from the shackles that bound them.

Just as I became free, my other goal was to let him live freely in the world.

And once that goal was achieved, I intended to leave the Blighton estate with a light heart and return to my family.

However, feelings do not always go as one wishes.

His warm heart and kindness did not allow me to think of our relationship as one of mere mutual benefit.

Before I knew it, I fell for him and naturally gave him my whole heart.

And Lloydin must feel the same way.

No matter how kind a person he is, the words and actions he showed me were beyond what one would do for someone they didn’t like.

Even the most oblivious person wouldn’t be able to miss it.

‘He said he had something to tell me when the pond was complete.’

I had a rough idea of what that might be.

I was well aware that our relationship would change significantly from that day on.

So I kept looking forward to it.

What would he say to me?

What would happen to us after that?

Such thrilling anticipation gave me hope every day.

Unexpected situations related to my prophetic dreams had occurred, but I believed I could overcome them somehow.

So I didn’t want to see him anxious over something so trivial.

I gently brushed my fingertips against the corner of his eye.

“…Are you feeling unwell?”

At my words, Lloydin stared at me intently before opening his mouth.

“…No.”

Despite his face revealing everything, Lloydin tried to deny his emotions.

“Judging by your face, it doesn’t seem like ‘no’ to me.”

I said with a light smile, hoping to ease the atmosphere.

But still, the air around him remained heavy.

“What should I do? What would you like me to do?”

Even though the current situation wasn’t my fault, I wanted to somehow ease his heart.

If my guess was right, Lloydin’s anxiety was understandable.

“Ha…”

After a moment of contemplation, a low sigh escaped from Lloydin.

“I’m sorry.”

He closed his eyes briefly and then suddenly apologized to me.

“For what?”

“For everything… I’m sorry.”

What was he so sorry for?

There was nothing for which he needed to apologize to me.

His words stirred my heart, like a calm surface suddenly hit by a fierce wave.

Feeling a sudden surge of emotion, I asked Lloydin almost accusingly.

“You don’t need to apologize to me. Why are you saying sorry?”

“I am disgusted with myself for not being able to control my emotions.”

Lloydin muttered in a voice full of self-loathing.

“You’re not disgusting at all.”

I replied firmly, with a look and tone that showed I didn’t think so at all.

“…My dear.”

“So, please don’t apologize to me or think like that.”

He looked at me with a surprised, dazed expression.

“Don’t hide your feelings from me, but tell me. I am your wife. I believe I have the right to know, don’t I?”

“That’s not true. It’s just that…”

Lloydin started to say something but then closed his mouth.

It seemed he was once again trying to hide something from me.

“You were about to say something, weren’t you? Please, tell me.”

I pleaded with him, hoping he would finally tell me everything.

Lloydin looked at me with an unreadable expression in his eyes.

Time passed in the silence.

I waited patiently for him to speak.

Pushing him wouldn’t make him say what I wanted to hear.

Someone accustomed to enduring would not easily cast off that burden.

So I waited.

I waited and waited for him to break out of his shell and come to me.

Finally, after a long time, Lloydin opened his lips as if he had made a decision.

“I thought I didn’t deserve to say such things to you, My dear.”

“Why? You are my husband.”

“But we are…”

Because we are a couple formed by a contract.

He was probably going to say that.

I knew it too.

How our marriage had come to be.

Because of it, there was a line we shouldn’t cross, and we had tried hard to maintain it.

But now, that line no longer mattered.

“What if I said I wanted to renew our relationship?”

“…My dear.”

“What if I said I want to give both you and myself that right, would that be okay?”

In the end, I opened up my heart to him, extending my hand first.

I had intended to wait for his hand at the pond, which was almost completed, but I could no longer wait.

I withdrew my hand from his face and slightly leaned back.

Facing him, I offered him my hand with a bright smile, as if suggesting a handshake.

Lloydin looked at my face and my hand alternately with a bewildered expression.

“My dear, do you mean…”

His voice seemed to tremble slightly.

I could tell how extremely nervous he was.

Even though I had made up my mind, a fleeting thought of what if his kindness was really just human decency passed through my mind, making me anxious and nervous.

“Do you mean our marriage is no longer just a contract?”

I nodded, still smiling.

“If that’s what you want.”

“Ha.”

Lloydin lowered his head and let out a deep sigh.

I had seen him sigh several times today, showing how troubled he was.

Then, with a determined look, he lifted his head.

His eyes, filled with an unrefined desire, blazed as they met mine.

“From the beginning…”

I watched his lips intently, forgetting to breathe, unsure of what he would say next.

“That was what I always wanted.”

As soon as he finished speaking, Lloydin quickly closed the distance and captured my lips.

I flinched momentarily, but his last words echoed in my mind, making me willingly welcome him.

There were no more constraints between us.

I wrapped my arms tightly around his neck and dug deeper into his embrace.

The kiss was far deeper and more intense than any we had shared before.

More than the kiss, his wandering hands, moving continuously without stopping, felt strange and enticing.

As he caressed my earlobe, neck, and back, my senses quickly revived one by one, as if soaring skyward.

With my lips surrendered to him, I barely managed to suppress an embarrassing sound that almost escaped.

It was quite some time later when Lloydin finally pulled away from me.

His gaze was still filled with unquenched heat.