“Episode 64”
Here, in this frustrating place, where no one can meet, Ray had thought that being alone with Clothan, choosing only lies for herself, forever, might change something if they had a child. She hadn’t realized she could be so desperate for the existence of a child. Ray glanced down at her slightly swollen belly.
Is there really no baby here? Even though my belly has swelled like this?
Ray spent the night tossing and turning, sometimes closing her eyes, wondering why she was like this, and then waking up abruptly to start thinking again. It was truly a night of wavering thoughts. The urge to stop fantasizing, and the intense struggle not to trust Clothan, were fiercely battling in her mind.
Before she knew it, the sun had risen, and the bright sunlight streamed in through the window. Ray, who had been biting her nails, was dazzled by the light. As she was about to get up, the bed next to her rustled. She reflexively closed her eyes.
“Hmm…”
A soft sigh. The sound of blankets being moved. Clothan carefully withdrew his arm that had been supporting Ray’s head. Then, he got up and covered her with the blanket, pretending she was still asleep.
Ray heard the sound of someone walking calmly. Then the rustling of paper, the sound of ink being soaked, and the sound of square-shaped writing. He was writing something. When Ray, curious to the extreme, opened her eyes, he was leisurely walking out. Was he planning to focus on his research from this morning?
Good, Ray thought. She heard the door closing, but she felt relieved. Until he climbed the stairs and closed the door to the lab, Ray didn’t even bend a finger.
Thud. The door to the lab closed. Before having to deal with the afternoon, he was free. Lately, he had been quite lenient. Ray walked to the table where a note was placed. [Come if you’re hungry.]
Ray neatly folded the note and put it back where it was. Today, she planned to meet Mrs. Mary. As she wandered around the garden, memories from her dreams became clearer. She even remembered the path right before the exit yesterday. The person who held her wrist and guided her. Who could that have been? A faint shadow like white paint splattered. Strangely, that was all.
Maybe it’s not time yet. Maybe it’ll become clearer once she leaves this place. First, she felt the need to change out of her almost nonexistent clothes. If she went to meet Mrs. Mary like this, she’d surely get scolded. She must have a lot to say.
It was a casual gesture to take off the negligee and toss it aside. Brown pants, neatly folded, caught her eye. They were Clothan’s, thrown off during their lovemaking yesterday. Placing the negligee on top of them, Ray gazed at the pants for a moment.
Ray’s pocket seemed unusually swollen. As if possessed, she reached out her hand and slipped it into her pocket. It felt empty, but something cold touched her palm. Should she take this out? However, her hesitation was fleeting.
“This is…”
Yellow medicine. It was the same medicine she had seen in Clothan’s lab. It felt uneasy yesterday, but now Ray hesitated for a moment, then carefully tucked the pants.
Somehow, she felt like she should take it. It wasn’t a thought from her own mind but a gut feeling lodged in her back.
