“Episode 43”
Episode 43
There hadn’t been a day as clear as today in recent memory. Ray, who was addicted to the abundance of love, was genuinely happy. On the day they confessed their pure love to each other, Ray even made an unbreakable promise with Clothan.
They promised not to hide a single secret in their pockets and never to avert their gaze from each other for even a moment. That was everything Ray had earnestly wished for. There was no thought of breaking the promise.
Clothan, who made the promise, had changed so much that the period he had endured seemed strange. He couldn’t bear the thought of being separated from Ray and, even if they were briefly apart, he quickly returned to confess his love.
For Ray, pinching Clothan’s cheek every morning had become routine. He never wanted to wake up from this dream. He believed he could live with Clothan, even if it were just a fantasy.
Since Clothan became honest about his love, he no longer hesitated to speak the truth. He seemed to have no intention of hiding his extraordinary strength.
At first, the gesture of moistening the curtains with a flick of his hand felt surprising. He even clapped his hands to feed Ray with a fork that floated in the air. But as it became a part of their ordinary life, Ray came to think of that power as convenient, like a comb through his hair.
“Clothan, move me to the chair.” “What?”
So, Ray unconsciously sought Clothan. But instead of Clothan responding, Mary, who was surprised to see Ray lying on the bed, appeared. She naturally assumed Clothan was there. Ray smiled embarrassedly.
“I thought you were here naturally.”
Today, Clothan was busy moving belongings to the annex, so there was no chance for him to linger. He took what was valuable, leaving the rest to the male servants. Phillip was busy organizing the study, and the gardener was busy tidying up the garden of the annex. In the end, it seemed that only John and Jack were left to exert themselves.
For Mary, packing a few of Ray’s clothes was all she had to do. It ended uneventfully. Despite it being an eagerly awaited move to the annex, Mary couldn’t shake off the somber atmosphere. Ray playfully shook her arm and asked,
“Are we leaving somewhere? We’re just next door.”
“Um, miss.”
Mary hesitated, then looked dejected. Ray straightened up and listened intently. She had always listened to his concerns. This time, she wanted to offer a solution from a different perspective.
“Maybe… it’s nothing important.”
“Yeah.”
“Has the master changed in any way?”
Something had happened, and this was the topic of conversation. Ray had heard a similar question from Phillip not long ago. The people of the mansion, who had gotten used to Clothan’s rough demeanor, might find it unfamiliar. Ray thought they would gradually adapt as time passed.
“He’s become more honest than different.”
“Yes.”
“Has he been kinder to you too?”
Ray burst into laughter at Mary’s awkward expression.
Come to think of it, there had been such an incident. Mary was trying to reach for jam in the kitchen, and Clothan, who was sitting behind her, lent a hand to help. When she saw the floating jam jar, Mary’s eyes widened, but before she could realize it was Clothan, she couldn’t catch up. Ray remembered rolling on the floor laughing as he held his stomach.
“Clothan can be too much sometimes.”
“What?!”
Seeing Mary’s exaggerated surprise, Ray immediately denied it.
“I didn’t mean it seriously. I just thought it might be surprising if you’ve never experienced such affection before.”
“It’s not appropriate to expect help from hired help.”
“But sometimes it happens, right? When you see a maid struggling to carry something heavy, you step in to help. My father used to do that occasionally. He wasn’t Hershey, though.”
Mentioning Hershey lifted Ray’s spirits. Now, even the mansion, which had become the annex, was getting a complete makeover. But that didn’t mean they would leave the mansion empty forever. Nevertheless, there was a feeling that the bond with Hershey had become thinner.
“Oh.”
Right. The letter Hershey had sent. There was a risk of losing it while loading and unloading luggage. Even the vase hiding the letter could have been easily transported. If the letter were exposed while carrying the vase, there was no doubt it would fall into Clothan’s hands. Ray could predict his reaction upon reading the letter. He would surely be furious upon learning the truth of hiding the letter.
“Miss?”
“Downstairs, just a moment.”
These dreamlike days couldn’t be missed. The sound of Ray’s shoes tapping on the floor indicated the urgency of the situation. Some things had already changed beyond counting. Even the same wallpaper, but the spot where the picture had been removed seemed darker. Seeing that made Ray even more anxious. He worried that the vase hadn’t been removed long ago.
Even as he rushed to the lobby, he noticed something had changed. The potted plant Ray occasionally watered had distinct marks on it, and the decorative cabinet Mary used to dust was empty. The vase with the yellow flowers seemed to disappear sooner than expected. Ray felt a sense of defeat creeping up as his running steps began to falter.
“Oh, there.”
As Ray turned the corner, he saw the yellow flowers he had been longing for. They remained holy, left by the god of peace. But it seemed there had been a slight mistake. The vase that had hidden the secret wasn’t alone. Moreover, it seemed like the letter had been exposed.
“That.”
“This?”
The man shaking the letter with malice was a suspicious worker named John. With a reddened face, he raised his voice.
“How, how did this happen?!”
Even if he had read the contents of the letter, his actions crossed the line. What he wrote wasn’t about Clothan or his lover or anything important. It would have been more understandable if it were Phillip, who had a high respect for the master.
But John had spent the shortest time with Clothan among the people in the mansion. It was a relationship where there could be doubts about whether he had properly mixed words.
“Explain. Did you read it?”
Ray had a reasonable suspicion that John might have been Hershey’s hidden accomplice. Despite being in need of internal help, John was the only one who came to mind when Ray thought about it. His attitude seemed as if he knew himself well. And seeing his current attitude made Ray even more convinced.
“Do you happen to know Hershey?”
“W-Well…”
Episode 43
The person who was admonishing as if to shatter the vase suddenly became gentle. Indeed, he was the spy sent by Hershey. The timing was just right. Ray nodded in acquiescence.
“You’re right.” “Ray.” “Then go ahead and tell me.”
John, who had been smiling with gratitude, suddenly turned sour, as if he had just eaten a sour plum. Ray didn’t feel good about it. His words were stuck several times before finally opening up. Then he closed his eyes tightly.
“Don’t wait for me. Tell him to stop waiting for me.”
“…”
“Hershey, just like you left me behind. I also…”
“Ray… Ray, Ray.”
“I can tell him. You know, John. I’ve made up my mind now. So, please don’t make Hershey wait too long. I’m begging you.”
John, who had stiffened, had no definite answer. But Ray knew he had taken everything to heart. In fact, there was something else Ray wanted to add. Freed from the desire to succeed, he hoped to find true joy as soon as possible. And thus, he hoped to live a life where he could welcome the receding dawn with joy. But what Ray was saying now would sound like deception. It had been a long time since they had become a relationship with nothing to share even if they talked for a long time.
“I’m really begging you.”
Ray summed up everything in one word. Hoping that John, who was astonished, would convey it well, he stopped pondering over the struggle with the half-brother outside.
Ray turned his back. It’s the end of the truth. This was it. A relationship where they could wish each other farewell, even though they couldn’t see each other. This was the relationship Ray had defined with Hershey from today.
***
The time when everything was settled was just after lunch. The laborers who had been carrying luggage had finished their meal first, and Clothan and Ray decided to have a late lunch in the annex. Mrs. Mary stayed in the main mansion. She said there was still a lot of cleanup to do, so she sent Ray off.
It hadn’t been long since Ray realized it was all a plan. It was quiet in front of the mansion, where everyone was taking a rest. Clothan, who had been grumpy since morning, was waiting for Ray. It was their intention to be alone.
Ray’s steps, filled with joy, quickened. But as Ray approached, Clothan turned his back, then covered his eyes from behind.
“We can’t see anything like this.”
Clothan just laughed and didn’t remove his hand. Ray didn’t ask any more questions and walked on. But now that his vision was blocked, there was no one to rely on but Clothan.
“Are we going the right way?”
Instead of an answer, there was a meaningful kiss. Feeling reassured by the small contact, Ray carefully walked, making sure not to step on Clothan’s feet. It was subtly amusing. He was so careful about the rhythm so as not to hurt Clothan with the heel of his shoe.
“Ray.” “Yeah.” “We’re here.” “Already?”
Well, it was right next door. Ray slowly lowered his gaze through Clothan’s fingers and saw the garden, which looked like it had been lifted from the sea, interspersed with blue flowers wrapped in green leaves.
As they pushed open the golden door and entered, the fragrance of grace enveloped their noses. It was the most youthful and beautiful garden they had ever seen. Clothan praised it, pointing to Ray’s blue eyes and golden hair, which reflected his color.
“I love you, Ray.”
He didn’t hesitate like this. Overwhelmed with emotion, Ray felt a surge of greed. He wished time would stop now and that there would be no difference between them forever. Although he was faithful and Ray was firm, they were bound to fade and deteriorate little by little.
This moment was perfect. Ray wished for nothing more than the current emotions, neither advancing nor falling behind.
“Do you love me too?”
After confessing, Clothan would often ask repeatedly. He asked and tested like someone who needed greater assurance. Ray could understand his anxiety. The more you cherish someone, the more you fear not receiving it back, and it’s hard to believe in a lover who is only human no matter how close they are.
“Of course.”
The answer was always the same no matter how many times he asked. Whenever Clothan wavered and felt anxious, if Ray told him, that would be enough. And he would do his best to reassure her too.
That was the lover Ray imagined.
