“Episode 30”
The crackling of the firewood in the fireplace filled the room with warmth. Ray, engrossed in reading a borrowed book, was diligently dissecting Clothan’s character.
Doodles scribbled idly, pages folded as a result of playful hands, ink stains from a pen mishap—though insignificant, they made it difficult for Ray to memorize every detail of the book, even if it could pass for scripture.
“Boring.”
“Cliché.”
Written in teenage handwriting, these scribbles gradually dampened Ray’s inflated interest. He marked passages that seemed obscure, and as he progressed through the book, the doodles diminished significantly. However, he managed to finish reading it entirely. At the end, a brief review was written on the last page:
“Should have used it as firewood.”
Was he much less sentimental in his youth? Despite the many difficult sentences, the book was profound in its own way, offering valuable lessons. Imagining him writing a superficial review after reading it made Ray feel buoyant. Even drinking from a wine glass with a bit of poison added would have been satisfying.
As Ray closed the book, an overwhelming sense of regret flooded his heart. Even when they were apart, he didn’t feel lonely when he could peek into his thoughts. But now, he felt like he was cast into a foreign land where he couldn’t communicate.
Lost in thought due to the dull afternoon bringing loneliness, Ray stared at the fireplace, unaware of the chilly presence.
“Excuse me.”
Suddenly, a voice interrupted Ray’s reverie. John stood there like a crow flying in when the predator was absent. Rainwater dripped from the edge of his hat, forming puddles on the floor. Holding his old hat in one hand and a potato basket in the other, John looked at Ray. It was natural for her to be surprised, as she had been lost in thought.
“Shall I clean it up for you?”
John looked at Ray earnestly, as if seeing a drizzle after a drought. Feeling burdened, Ray stood up to call Mrs. Mary.
“Just a moment. I’ll…”
“Miss Lizabeth.”
Ray, who had been waiting for the shadow to pass through the kitchen, paused at the sight. Not again. It felt familiar, like a seed piercing deep into his memory. He wasn’t a stranger. Even the title he used to address himself was of a higher rank than an ordinary laborer. It wasn’t forced; it was a habit that came naturally.
“Are you happy?”
“What?”
“Are you happy?”
He asked with a sarcastic tone, containing a content of dubious nature. It wasn’t the first time she had heard it. Ray thought he was rude.
John, who threw the potato basket aside, warmed his hands over the burning fireplace. Like an animal bathing after a bath, he enjoyed the warmth while trembling. In many ways, he was a unique worker.
“Why are you living alone? I heard you had siblings.”
It was excessive meddling. Ray, recalling his distant relatives after a long time, secretly sighed.
“I don’t know. It’s been a long time since they left.”
“You don’t know?”
“Since then, I haven’t received a single letter.”
John, who was nervously shuffling his feet in place, quickly spoke up.
“Take a close look at my face.”
“John?”
“Doesn’t anyone come to mind?”
Ray, who was pondering over John’s face, suddenly realized something. His expression changed rapidly as he stiffened up and distanced himself, becoming more guarded. Seeing Ray step back, John called out to him. Finally, it seemed that Ray’s distant and sorrowful relative had awakened.
“Do you recognize me? Do you remember?”
“Are you… by any chance…?”
“Yes!”
“Isn’t he the one who used to work at our house?”
“What?”
From the impure gaze, John picked up fragments of memories. Ray’s second cousin once introduced a laborer into the household. He was mainly responsible for fetching water, loading heavy baggage onto horses, and other miscellaneous tasks. Ray trusted him based on the recommendation of his diligence written in the letter, but soon realized it was all a false pretense within a week.
The most frequent incident involved him harassing the maids. When the maids began to voice their complaints, even Ray’s father, who was indifferent to the household affairs, became angry. After a few days of silence, he exploded in anger. Despite it being a favor for the cousin who introduced him, Ray couldn’t imagine that the lazy fellow would be so audacious as to reach for an unreachable tree.
The troublemaker began to target Ray since the beginning of time. After hearing about Ray’s fondness for flowers, he picked some wildflowers and clumsily arranged them into a bouquet as a gift. It was exhilarating for Ray to find it placed on the balcony attached to her room.
In his own way, the troublemaker seemed infatuated. Ray, who wasn’t particularly sharp, felt confused for a long time. The situation worsened as the maids began to gossip, and it became severe when the laborer was confidently walking around. It was only a matter of time before it reached Ray’s parents’ ears.
“You surely had feelings for me too!”
His first excuse when questioned was that. At a family gathering where everyone was present, Ray was naturally seated among them. It seemed like he genuinely believed in his own nonsense rather than just using it as an excuse. He shamelessly demanded that Ray, who didn’t even know what he was talking about, side with him.
“Didn’t you smile at me? Every time you passed by, you gave me a glance!”
Ray endured it until it became unbearable and finally drove him away. Shaken by the incident, Ray refrained from going out unnecessarily, and her parents rushed to find her a suitor. Although it fell through due to the family circumstances, looking back, they should have rushed to make it happen. It’s one of the things John regrets.
However, Ray mistook that laborer for John. Moreover, that guy’s name wasn’t even John. With a flushed face, John nudged Ray.
“How dare you compare me to that kind of guy?! Am I similar to that… that stalker?”
Ray, who was anxiously scanning John, subtly changed his expression.
“How… how do you know about that?”
“What?!”
“The person I’m talking about.”
“That…!”
John’s lips twisted awkwardly every time he tried to explain what he had done. Ray scrutinized John with even more suspicion, and the situation was terribly uncomfortable, leaving John unable to offer any explanation.
As Ray was about to rush to the kitchen to get some answers, a creaking sound came from the stairs.
“Tsk, tsk.”
At first, Ray thought it was John with a cape covering his face, thinking he was Clydon, but the tone of the voice felt familiar. It was the old lady meticulously draped in a pink cape. As she descended the stairs, she grabbed John’s shoulder.
“I had a feeling something like this would happen.”
“What?”
“It’s truly a pity.”
The old lady, who seemed to know everything, patted John’s shoulder gently, leaving John feeling somewhat choked up.
“Excuse me for a moment.”
It seemed like Ray had something to discuss with her. Perhaps today was not the right time. Would there be such an extraordinary opportunity again? However, the old lady sternly focused her gaze on Ray. She wasn’t someone who would offer help easily. John, hesitating for a moment, roughly took off his hat and headed outside. Without any hesitation, he jumped straight into the pouring rain.
The old lady’s gaze briefly shifted in his direction, but soon returned to Ray without letting her guard down. Ray’s intense first encounter with her made him feel uneasy. The old lady knew a lot.
“You ignored my warning.”
The old lady had once said that those who feed off others’ energy would soon become like her. Remembering her warning, Ray thought she might have the key to solving his doubts.
“Do you want me to leave Clydon’s side?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
As rain fell outside, the old lady standing by the window laughed sardonically. Ray felt a chill pass through his body, as if the coldness of the fireplace had penetrated him.
“Miss, in this place, only you…”
“Don’t say it.”
No, he thought she might help him. But then again, that would mean not waiting for Clydon. And that old lady seemed to belong to the category that wanted to drive Ray away. It seemed like she was more interested in instilling fear than revealing the truth. He didn’t want to be scared and run away, at least not at the moment.
“Are you afraid?”
“Yes.”
The old lady’s eyes widened with surprise. Ray approached the kitchen where Mrs. Mary was. It was a gesture indicating that he knew there was someone there who would support him. But the lady who was sitting alone by the window, watching the rain, was no longer there.
“You might regret it.”
Della sighed. Many things had changed in the mansion. Even the original master had become a stranger, and the shy woman had become quite bold. But despite the changes, there was something that remained unchanged in her eyes. It would always hinder the master.
How far could he approach the woman when his ankles were caught? The master was proud and unable to become the person who would hold onto a leaving woman while lamenting. It might be better to confine her and kill her. Otherwise, there would be more problems.
“Can it change?”
Today, the unchanging weather in this place felt friendly. The key was how long the protagonist who stirred change in the mansion that had remained unchanged for centuries could endure. One only had to watch the outcome.
Whether one harbored hope or not, what would happen would happen, and what wouldn’t change would remain the same no matter what. She just hoped the young master would remain steadfast there. And the woman too.
