“Episode 18”
The two of them had a modest breakfast. Ray didn’t feel like wearing spare clothes, but Clodan insisted and bought a few more. It was a simpler shopping trip than yesterday. Ray tried on the clothes, and Clodan paid if she liked them. That was all.
In the carriage on the way back, Ray didn’t say a word. Despite the shoes and dresses piled next to her, she didn’t allow a single glance. She stubbornly crossed her arms and focused on the view outside the carriage as if it were essential.
“Do you not like the clothes?”
Clodan broke the silence with the first words. He tried to match Ray’s mood, but she seemed even more dissatisfied.
“Should I throw them away?”
Ray, surprised by Clodan’s question, looked at him with wide eyes. After hesitating, she sighed.
“Then let’s go back and buy new ones.”
“That’s not what I meant.”
In the end, Clodan gave in. Ray, unhappy, pouted even more.
“It seems like Clodan doesn’t really like me.”
Clodan, taking off his gloves, stared at Ray. His face seemed to ask what she meant.
“So you’re tormenting me like this.”
Clodan laughed. Ray tapped her foot harder in the carriage.
“Do you know how much pain I’m in when I wake up in the morning? My whole body is stiff, especially…”
“Especially?”
“Especially…”
“If you say you’re sore, I’ll massage you.”
“Just massage?”
“You’ll feel it.”
“You’re the one making me feel it!”
This was before breakfast. When Ray woke up and saw Clodan’s genitals still inside her, she was astonished. She barely managed to escape to the bathroom, but Clodan insisted on washing her. He swore he had no ulterior motives, and Ray believed him and accepted.
Fortunately, Clodan kept his promise and cleaned her without any pricking. But the next part was the problem.
When Ray said her bottom felt a little sore, he went out and got ointment to apply. But his touch felt odd. He applied the ointment even inside, where it wasn’t necessary.
“Why are you wasting it?”
“What, what?”
“You’re spilling it. You’ll use up all the ointment.”
This was the part where Ray got angry. He was shameless and went too far with his joke. She never expected him to do this even when applying ointment.
“You even forgot what you did to me last night. Why is Clodan so self-centered? Always like that.”
“Well, maybe it’s because he grew up without parents.”
“What?”
With that one word, Ray’s anger dissipated like foam. While Clodan spoke casually, Ray, confused, beat around the bush.
“That, that’s not necessarily true. I didn’t mean that. Instead of saying Clodan is self-centered, isn’t it more like, um, he has a very, how should I put it, vigorous libido?”
“Pffft.”
Haha. Clodan lay in the carriage, holding his stomach, laughing out loud. It was a sight Ray had never seen before. He laughed until tears came out. Ray’s mood gradually soured.
“You’re not lying, are you?”
“Lying?”
“About your parents.”
Come to think of it, Clodan was a young lord, and Ray had never heard of separate parents. It’s hard to believe he could be so indifferent.
“I’m, I’m sorry.”
“Why apologize for something you didn’t do?”
“Still.”
“After all, you don’t even remember. You were too young.”
On the day he turned four, Clodan inherited the estate and became a lord. It was ages ago. On a sunny day, his parents had an accident caused by bandits. He barely shed tears at their funeral. He might have cried. He was just a child.
Many people pitied him. From his teacher to his nanny, even the vegetable supplier empathized with him. Pity was a cheap emotion. At the same time, it was generous. Unless it was a serious matter, few scolded him, and if he threw a tantrum, he got whatever he wanted. That’s how he grew up as the little king of the estate.
“I know my personality isn’t great.”
“It’s not that bad. You’re very affectionate, and you often give me encouraging words. How can I not rely on you? And…”
“That’s because I like you.”
Yes, that was surely a declaration of affection. But Ray, feeling uneasy, hesitated to ask.
“Could you stop liking me?”
“…I don’t know.”
“You don’t know?”
“Isn’t it more worrying if I start liking you more than I do now? Even now, it’s torment.”
“Will you dislike me later?”
With things to lose, Ray couldn’t contain herself. It was an area she hadn’t thought about.
“Then, then you’ll hate me. If you change. If you stop liking me. I won’t even repay my debts. I’ll run away like Heiche and…and…”
“I probably shouldn’t mention that name.”
“Why shouldn’t I mention my brother? Do you think I’ll swindle money and run away if you stop liking me?”
Caught off guard by Clodan’s suddenly chilling voice, Ray screamed and stopped talking.
Ray’s emotions were in disarray. It was like a small thing causing ripples in a pond. She collapsed at the possibility of being abandoned, and she felt pathetic and despaired over trivial matters.
“If it will be regretful later, why not just leave me alone from the beginning? Don’t, don’t even talk to me.”
“There seems to be a misunderstanding, but how can I be sure you won’t abandon me?”
“Ray.”
Ray hugged Clodan tighter like a mother kangaroo holding her baby.
“I’ve had unrequited love all my life. I’ve only ever loved from afar, longing, wishing, and hoping.”
“….”
“It’s the first time my unrequited love has been reciprocated. The first time someone has told me they like me, given me gifts, and called me pretty. It’s all a first.”
“….”
“I can’t bear to lose that.”
It was raw affection. Ray thought Clodan would be amused by her exposed feelings, but for the first time in his life, Clodan couldn’t speak because he was so flustered. It was as if his lips were magically sealed shut.
“I like you a lot. Don’t change.”
Clodan thought. It was a new curse. A return ticket to an eternal curse where you couldn’t leave and didn’t want to leave.
—
The noisy journey of the two came to an end. Mary and Philip came to meet them. They stood holding torches on this chilly night when an owl hooted.
“Welcome back.”
The master had a tired expression. It was the result of using an enormous amount of magic continuously. Nevertheless, he carried the sleeping Ray inside. The master had clearly changed.
“Master, I’ll take care of Miss. Please bathe first.”
“Why are you?”
The atmosphere was ominous. Philip withdrew into himself like a turtle, cowering.
“Are you trying to take advantage of this opportunity?”
“M-Master.”
“Don’t move.”
“Ugh.”
As Philip clutched his chest and collapsed, Lady Mary, who had moved the torch, illuminated the path.
“Master, Philip was just…”
“Mary.”
“Yes?!”
“Does Philip have feelings too?”
“No, he doesn’t.”
Mary, barely having escaped with her life, moved the torch to the candlestick and quietly followed Clodan. Ray, carried on his back, didn’t stir. She seemed exhausted from the outing.
“I’ll tidy up the clothes.”
Instead of answering, the master laid Ray on the bed. With careful consideration, he removed her shoes. After buttoning her up and dressing her in comfortable pajamas, Lady Mary could only stand awkwardly by.
“I can do it myself.”
After neatly dressing Ray, Clodan finally took off his jacket. He seemed drained. It appeared he hadn’t slept a wink during the outing.
“You must be exhausted. Please rest now.”
“Mary.”
As Clodan rubbed his neck, he got up from the bed. Lady Mary stopped in her tracks. She thought the master would sleep here.
“Can the curse be broken?”
“What?”
“I’ve never tried it before.”
Lady Mary, who was in the middle of lowering the candlestick, froze at Clodan’s unexpected words.
“I want to be normal.”
“Master….”
She couldn’t bring herself to tell him hopeful lies. That would be mocking the master. Unable to offer even a word of comfort, Lady Mary picked up the candlestick again.
“Are you going to the laboratory?”
Clodan didn’t answer. It had been exactly twenty years since he abandoned his experiments. Lady Mary tried to speak cheerfully.
“Maybe this time it’ll be different. Miss Ray is here now. You didn’t have strong motivation before.”
Clodan chuckled as he unbuttoned his collar. He seemed to understand her efforts.
“Rest.”
Lady Mary bid a lengthy farewell as there was still Ray’s luggage to sort. Unusually, she even accompanied them for a send-off. She held up the unnecessary candlestick to show them the way.
Could the curse be broken? Lady Mary certainly hoped so. While everyone in the mansion earnestly desired it, she couldn’t help but feel that Clodan, at this moment, wasn’t among them. Her mouth tasted bitter, unlike any other day.
