Unedited
I ran and went to the dormitory. I decided to skip the Ancient Magic and Legends class. Professor Nanna, the only elf at Fitzsimmons, was tolerant of her students’ petty misdeeds, perhaps because she had lived so long. The only moment she became strict was when her students tried to touch her protective clothing (according to Professor Nanna, all living beings except her elves were tainted blobs of mana. She had accepted her teaching position at Fitzsimmons solely to enlighten these said lesser creatures.).
When I opened the old wooden door, Brianna Mosley, who was probably yawning as she was writing down a long list of common language words in her notebook, looked up like a surprised rabbit. ‘Oh my God, Ariel!’ she exclaimed, running up to me in stride and grabbing my cheeks.
“Why are you crying, pretty girl!”
Only then did I realize that I was crying pathetically. Not even when I fell from the holly tree, fought with Kyle, faced my first heartbreak, or discovered that I was just a background character had I felt this sad. I must have liked Keran far more than I had imagined.
When I began to cry without answering, Brianna, who is kind and weak-hearted, quickly began tearing up too.
“Has His Royal Highness by any chance been harsh to you?”
Even while she was sobbing, her tone was clearly angry.
Even while I hiccupped and sobbed, I couldn’t help but wonder how she and people like Bryce Nadon or Marquis Bolton knew I cared about Keran. I wondered if I have ‘I love you, Keran Illestia’ written on my forehead, so I asked her. Brianna, who was sweet and kind-hearted but at the same time merciless, said that she thought I even had ‘love’ written all over me.
“You only put something on your lips on the days you have a ‘book club’ meeting with him.”
Brianna curled her finger in a gesture emphasizing ‘book club.’ I was so shocked and embarrassed that I burst into tears.
“Whenever you see him in the cafeteria, you suddenly pretend to tie your hair. It was completely obvious.”
“Tying my hair up is just… you know, so it doesn’t get in the way when I’m eating—”
“Don’t lie. You started doing that after reading Finnigan’s Monthly. What was the article’s title again, ‘Moments When a Woman Looks Pretty’?”
“It was ‘Moments When a Woman Feels Attractive,’ actually.”
According to a survey of over 200 Fitzsimmons male students, the top moment when a woman felt attractive was when they witnessed her tying her hair up and the nape of her neck was visible. Even if she looked like a mess otherwise, the brief glimpse of her nape as her hair swayed upward apparently conveyed an indescribable beauty.
I had found it fascinating at the time, thinking I’d try it out someday. I swear on Salamander’s rainbow scales I didn’t know I was already doing it. If I had known that I had made such a fuss that even Bree would notice, I would have stopped immediately. How embarrassing.
“Did I really do that?”
“You did not know? Villard always loses his appetite and leaves his food unfinished whenever you do it.”
Ah, Kyle. My poor childhood friend. I put my obviously burning face under the blanket. I guess the reason he asked me not to love Keran was because he knew how I felt. I was so sorry I felt sick to my stomach. I couldn’t even fulfill the one request of the guy who had gone as far as pulling out a tooth for me. Worse, I doubted I ever would.
“Hey, don’t cry. Honestly, even though His Highness is insanely handsome, a gentleman, and amazing, there are a lot of men on the continent.”
Bree’s words as she patted my back were spot on. Although there is no man as handsome as Keran, there are plenty of handsome men in the world. How thick was <The Adventures of Nivea: Historical Hotties of Milua> alone!
And some of them, at least a few, had found me attractive even when I didn’t tie my hair up. They had even wanted to be with me. Kyle, for instance. Maybe Edgar, too.
“They’re not Keran… .”
But neither Kyle nor Edgar was Keran Illestia. Neither of them was that effortlessly elegant boy who looked like a god even when he smiled as if life bored him to death, who made something as simple as twirling pasta on a fork look sophisticated.
Images of Keran were swirling around in my complicated mind. Keran, the freshman representative, stood on the podium looking as lovely as a baby angel. Keran, who skillfully escorted Madame Bartlett. Keran who was waiting for someone, surrounded by cornelian trees, birch trees, and camellia trees. They all looked a lot like Keran, who had tearfully asked me for forgiveness.
And the Keran who looked incredible in glasses and kissed incredibly well. I buried my face in the pillow and pressed my lips against the begonias embroidered on it. It was my first kiss. It didn’t even taste like potatoes. In fact, it had been amazing.
As I flailed on the bed, Brianna stood there, unsure of what to do. Then, as if suddenly remembering something, she placed a cookie in my hand. She whispered that she’d saved it before the pastry department got punished for the Ylang Flour Incident. Sure, it was against the rules, but eating it was supposed to make you incredibly happy.
I nibbled on the ‘drug cookie’ that Edgar Ramos, who wanted to be in a relationship with me, told me not to eat with my front teeth. It was very salty and wet, so instead of feeling happy, my depression only grew.
***
Suddenly, my body was burning up. It was never because of the ‘drug cookie’; rather, it felt like the second love sickness in my life. How did I know? It was written right there on the patient status display magic device hanging by the bed. That little rectangular magic tool was, in my opinion, much better at diagnosis than Professor Chapman.
When I said I felt unwell and wanted to visit the infirmary, Professor Alvarado—or Kelly’s ‘Aunt Paula’—managed to pull ‘death’ out of a pile of rune cards for fortune telling.
Then she started fussing about how my symptoms would get worse. That is, unless I bought one of her “health charm bracelets,” which she was quietly peddling. Too tired to argue, I waved her off and left the classroom.
Despite my guilt toward Kelly, it was clear Professor Alvarado was nothing short of a con artist. She made a tidy profit off the recent demon incident. Even first-years who had been writing desperate letters to their parents and upperclassmen who scoffed at Maynard’s vivid accounts all ended up buying her exorcism tools.
Even Professor Stafford wore a devil-slaying belt with a design she wouldn’t normally wear on top of her extravagant robe. It was truly an amazing business acumen. Stephen Kirkpatrick, as rumored, dreams of becoming a magic ship pilot and aims to have his own magic ship; he definitely had to work hard.
Just as there cannot be two suns in the same sky, Fitzsimmons cannot accommodate two con artists. I suspected a bloodbath was on the horizon.
In any case, lovesickness was, no matter how severe, just lovesickness. Good thing I didn’t buy that “health charm bracelet.” I curled into a ball with my knees drawn up, staring down the diagnosis on the screen until my eyes shut for a moment. Then, suddenly, a very familiar voice pierced my ears.
“Ari, where are you?”
It was the voice of my devoted childhood friend who always showed up whenever I was in a shitty mood. I quickly clenched my fists and punched myself in the stomach and legs, causing the words ‘Lovesickness’ to disappear behind the ‘Bruises’ and ‘Mental illness of unknown cause.’ Then I called out to Kyle. After a brief crash, the curtain covering my bed was pulled back.
“How’d you know I was here?”
“I ran into Ramirez in front of the restroom. She said she had to go to class and told me to check on you. Since when did she start studying so hard?”
“She has enormous respect for the fortune-telling professor.”
“Oh, that fraudster? No wonder. Anyway, Ramirez asked me to give you this.”
Kyle lifted what he was holding onto his palm and held it out. It was a thin string bracelet. There were knots in strange shapes in the middle.
“A health charm bracelet.”
I smiled heartily and picked up the bracelet. The clasp was even more strangely tangled than the rest, so I had to fiddle with it for quite a while.
Kyle, unable to watch me struggle anymore, took the bracelet from me. True to his reputation as the only fifth-year from Milua to pass the Talon City examination, Kyle studied the clasp for a moment before easily undoing the intricate knot. “Wow.” I let out an honest exclamation and held out my wrist.
“What do you want me to do?”
“Put it on me. That way, you can sneakily hold my hand or something. You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”
“You’re unbelievable.”
When I made the bold request, Kyle scoffed like I did just a moment ago. Still, he calmly put a bracelet around my wrist. Perhaps because undoing it and tying it again seemed entirely different, he fumbled with it for much longer this time. Or perhaps he was secretly looking for an excuse to hold my hand. At least, that’s what I thought I would have done if I were in the position of putting a bracelet on Keran.
I wanted to hold Keran’s hand even though I knew he didn’t like me back. Would Kyle do the same?
I suddenly became curious, so I reached out and grabbed his hand. Professor Alvarado’s string bracelet, with its knotted design completing a perfect loop, hung on my wrist. It seemed that the method of unraveling and tying it was actually not very different.
“Why’d you take so long if you’d already finished?”
“I really hate you.”
Kyle lied through his teeth, still holding my hand. He liked me too much for that to be true, so I lightly shook our joined hands, the way my dad often did with his business partners. It’s like saying, ‘Please take care of me.’ But the words that came out of my mouth were different.
“Sorry.”
My abrupt apology didn’t faze Kyle much. His gaze, which had been fixed on the floor, shifted to the patient status screen. Lovesickness (51.5%) was once again showing at the top, beating out bruises (19.8%) and mental illness (27.2%).
“I really hate you.”
Kyle repeated, his voice full of irritation. Yet somehow, it still sounded like a lie. That was what made it so sad.
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