Whether it was because the wind had changed direction, or because Elizabeth McCarthy had raised her voice due to excitement, Kyle and I were able to hear every single line of her brilliant marriage proposal. Liz’s long hair fluttered picturesquely as she propped her elbows on her bent knees and opened a small box.
Brennan, frozen by his girlfriend’s sudden action, flinched as if caught snooping and quickly covered his mouth. Inside the box was a ring with a simple design. Judging by the crude way the light reflected off the gemstone, it wasn’t of the usual high quality used to propose.
Nevertheless, without hesitation, Brennan picked it up and put it on his finger. I narrowed my vision and focused on the top of Brennan’s head. For a moment, I thought I saw a sparkle, but maybe I was mistaken. I rubbed my eyes, but no writing appeared.
Apparently not for Kyle.
“He became a fiancée, not a fiancé. Well, it’s basically the same thing.”
he murmured. It was the moment when Fitzsimmons’ top information broker’s secret was revealed.
“If I could have your powers, Christa Edwards would kiss a troll’s ass.”
“She would still be able to endure that.”
We laughed under our breath, simultaneously imagining Edwards reverently kissing a muddy gray ass.
“Ah, Elizabeth! My marshmallow, the butterfly on my lips!”
Overcome with emotion, Brennan hugged his fiancé. Liz’s crystal-clear laughter spread among the stars. As they bounced to the melodies of the magic doll orchestra, the lovers looked like porcelain figurines adorning a music box.
Such a romantic picture, even the loud bursts of mana explosions felt like a celebration of their love. It was the perfect way to end the Month of Love banquet.
I felt a strange tickle in my stomach, so I looked over at Kyle, and he did too and it seemed not just because he felt my gaze.
We stared at each other for a long, eerie moment. The nonstop flashes of light turned his green eyes multicolored. Dark shadows were cast under his brow bone and to the left of the bridge of his nose.
“I couldn’t give it away, my grandfather’s pocket watch.”
He blurted out. The words came out impulsively, in an erratic tone.
“To Rosemary Blossom?”
“Rosemary blossom or whatever she’s called.”
“Since when? I mean, your thread must have had your destiny written on it.”
“Well, I don’t have a thread, just like I don’t have a fourth wall.”
In other words, Kyle seemed to be enjoying a certain amount of freedom within the confines of the world, because that’s what his role was. At first glance, his situation seemed to be better than the other male protagonists. I mean, he doesn’t don’t have to be tied to a thread every moment of his life.
But since I didn’t know that my limbs were bound, I wasn’t sure if Kyle’s situation was really better than ours. Some truths were far better not known, and the existence of the spinning wheel of fate, I felt, belonged to the truths one should not know.
Moreover, the absence of thread did not mean that Kyle’s life was untied. The bloodshed I’d witnessed in Professor Stafford’s greenhouse came flooding back to me. Even if there was no ‘fourth wall’, there was no doubt that he was put in some kind of noose that the world had drawn.
“With no thread, the system couldn’t force my feelings, but even a sub-character is a target, so it had to do something.”
“Because all targets must love Blossom.”
“For a brief moment, pain seemed like a good way to do it, but there was a problem with that.”
“Problem?”
“It’ll get numb after a while.”
At some point in fifth grade that I don’t remember, Kyle said he finally got used to the pain that came whenever he didn’t think of Blossom.
“It’s not ‘since when,’ Ariel. I’ve never loved her.”
He said it through clenched teeth. Blood was seeping through his teeth. I hastily pulled out a handkerchief and thrust it at him, but he ignored it and grabbed my wrist hard instead.
“Hey, what are you doing!”
“My heart was in someone else’s hands in the first place. The pocket watch has always been hers. Even Blossom shouldn’t have gotten greedy for that.”
It had a rough, pouring tone, like the edge of a broken tree branch. We were at a distance where it wouldn’t be strange even if our noses touched, so I could see clearly that his eyes were filled with nothing but me. The heat he couldn’t completely suppress was also apparent. Only now did I think I could erase the doubts that had occupied a corner of my heart.
The emotions Kyle harbored for Blossom were never love. It couldn’t have been. Because of that, he was already in an overwhelmingly burdened state. His stubbornness was absurd, and maybe someone I knew had made him that way. Someone I knew very well.
I wasn’t quick on my feet, but I wasn’t stupid. Kyle’s breath was too hot to feign innocence, like the heroine of a third-rate romance novel.
“That’s right. It’s my fault that Blossom can’t see the true ending.”
“Kyle.”
“Because I don’t love Blossom.”
“Kyle!”
“Because I love someone else.”
“Kyle Damien Villard!”
“I, you… .”
The words he struggled to bring out didn’t reach a conclusion. His body slowly slumped over. I managed to catch Kyle.
Suddenly, I remembered the days when he was still the crybaby young master at Villard Manor. When he’d been scared of thunder, I’d held him and soothed him, just like now. I could still remember the faint scent of medicine, the taint of milk, and freshly laundered clothes. And the little boy who snuggled into my arms.
That little boy was nowhere to be found. I could smell his sweat on the wind, mingled with the scent of blood. The one here was a man with fully grown shoulders and a solid chest.
Who had probably been in love with me…
For a long time, I wouldn’t want to know.
***
I couldn’t sleep. I was desperate for some fresh air, so I mapped out a walk that would last as long as possible. The courtyard, surrounded by the main and annex buildings, was not a bad choice under the circumstances. As I left my room, crossed the square, and halfway around the main building to the road between the annexes, my simmering emotions seemed to subside a bit.
Kyle had always been skilled at confusing people. Before I met Maverick and was engulfed in hellish emotions, there was a time when even my heart was heated by Kyle.
However, it was Kyle Villard who would put up a wall whenever I tried to approach him, so I was sure of it. He didn’t think of me that way before we entered Fitzsimmons Academy.
We were best friends, sworn siblings closer than biological siblings, and always ready to point out each other’s faults. But we were definitely not romantically involved.
Did he realize this while he was being manipulated as Blossom’s target? Had something triggered it, and if so, what? Honestly, everything that came out of Kyle’s mouth was a shock, and it kept me up all night, but my mind kept dwelling on his confession.
Is he just trying to make fun of me? There’s no way he really likes me. He’s been acting like he’s trying to win the best friendship award all this time.
The most negative of Ariel Dalton’s Fifty Shades roared.
Teasing? Going that far? While he vomits blood? That’s bullshit. How many years have you known him, yet you don’t know him still? Despite him doing a lot of pranks, Kyle won’t play with other people’s feelings like that.
The positive shade immediately countered.
Hey, are you a sophomore? After seeing and hearing those great truths, is that all that you concluded? Grow up.
As the rational shade scolded, the emotional shade murmured. But it felt good. No matter what, being loved by someone makes a teenage girl feel flattered. Especially when it’s a boy who’s as handsome, athletic, and popular as he is!
Oh, my God, Ariel. Finally, the romantic shade that was found dead around the time I broke up with Adam Walsh has risen from the dead. Never in your life has there been a more dramatic declaration of love! This is, well, a revelation. It’s a buoy floating in the open sea. If you don’t hold on tight, you’re going to end up like Uncle Bert, who still talks about the woman he left 20 years ago!
But there has never been a time since I was thirteen that Kyle has been anything but a childhood friend to me, and I cared for him so deeply that I refused to invent feelings that never existed in order to pity him. I wouldn’t want that if I were him.
Unsurprisingly, Kyle, brought to his senses by Professor Chapman’s three affectionate slaps, was very nice to me. It was clear that he had a rough idea of what I was thinking, it also didn’t seem to be any of the ‘possibilities’ he had experienced countless times. We could roughly know each other’s thoughts just by looking at each other.
So I also fully understood that, no matter how I responded, his heart wouldn’t be broken.
“I’m sorry for being selfish.”
It was quite a plausible bullshit. With a ghostly pale appearance, he said it convincingly.
“It is the most precious freedom I could ever have.”
I pulled at the corners of my mouth to keep from crying cowardly tears. My voice came out slightly distressed.
“Do whatever you want. You’re not going to listen to me anyway.”
Instead of answering, Kyle smiled. It was a refreshing smile.
You feel a little bit excited, aren’t you? The romantic shade whispered again. Consider it. There is no guarantee that feelings that have never existed before will not exist in the future. It was so persistent that it made my head hurt. Unable to bear it, I screamed loudly.
“Shut up!”
“Hi, Dalton. If it’s okay, may I ask who you’re talking to?”
Suddenly, a voice interrupted, soft, cold, and wet, like the dirt under my bare feet after a long rainstorm.
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