“Why? Don’t you like it? Do you not like me touching you?”
But there was a thin line between anger and excitement. Suddenly, he grabbed the nape of my neck and pushed me aggressively. His hand, which had found its way to my waist, gripped it as if trying to crush me, and he kissed me fiercely. I could hear the rapid thudding sound from Yu-geon’s chest, so fast that I wondered if it was his heartbeat.
His aura was also filled with rage. The once soft and gentle waves now clung to me like mud, sticking to my body and sliding down.
A kiss is supposed to be with the lips, but it felt as if I was inside his mouth. When I gasped for breath, short of air, Yu-geon licked from beneath my tongue up to the roof of my mouth, slowly and deliberately.
My strength faltered at that motion, and my legs gave way. Yu-geon quickly supported my waist, bending my body into a curve.
His tongue, now pressing into my mouth at a sharp angle, wildly explored inside. It was a messy, animalistic kiss, so disordered that it felt almost beastly. Despite myself, I found excitement in his kiss, which was driven by raw desire. I had intended to provoke him, but at some point, I had gotten caught up in it too.
“Haa, haa… haa.”
“Mm… haa…”
Then, both of us, short of breath, pulled apart for a moment. The sensor light had turned off at some point, plunging us into darkness. Only our ragged breathing filled the space.
As I was beginning to realize something was wrong, Yu-geon’s hand, which had been around my waist, reached up toward my face. That movement triggered the sensor light to flood the room with brightness again. The sudden light made my vision blur into whiteness. After blinking a few times, my sight returned.
Yu-geon’s eyes were shockingly intense, burning with heat. His flushed cheeks and the passionate gleam in his eyes, the scorching temperature of his body, and his lips, which looked ready to devour me, made his desire for me unmistakably clear.
I couldn’t tear my gaze away from him, and his fingers gently brushed against my lips.
“You….”
He stared at my lips, now slick with his saliva, with an expression of disbelief.
“With Han-gyeol hyung… no, never mind.”
Yu-geon started to say something but quickly changed his words. In that instant, I snapped back to reality. It felt like a bucket of ice-cold water had been dumped over my head.
Although Yu-geon had cut off his words, he had realized through our actions just now that Han-gyeol and I hadn’t kissed. If we had, Yu-geon would have felt Han-gyeol’s aura on my lips.
An Esper’s aura wasn’t something that could be controlled. If Han-gyeol had feelings for me, his aura would have lingered even more strongly.
‘Ah, this bastard really is obsessed with guiding.’
The heated excitement I had felt moments ago quickly cooled down due to Yu-geon’s possessiveness, even in this situation. Despite my expression turning cold, Yu-geon tenderly stroked my lips.
“Do you want to touch elsewhere too? With your own hands, don’t you want to check how far another Esper has gone with me?”
I scoffed, taking Yu-geon’s hand and pulling him towards me.
“I’m your only guide.”
I whispered sweetly as I pressed my body against his, guiding his hand slowly down my body. Yu-geon looked dazed, almost like someone half-asleep, just staring down at me silently. Yet his gaze was so intense it felt suffocating.
I buried my face in the spot on his neck where the scent was the sweetest. When I licked it, Yu-geon’s Adam’s apple bobbed noticeably.
“But you know, don’t you? That your guide is a Cremon.”
With that, I let my Cremon nature surface, pressing my sharp fangs into his neck.
“Ugh.”
There was a sickening crack, like the sound of bones breaking. Yu-geon let out a stifled groan and collapsed to the ground.
“Hey… you.”
I followed him down, biting harder. He wrapped his arms around my shoulders, trembling violently. I couldn’t see the expression on Yu-geon’s face as I bit into him so suddenly.
However, I could feel sweat start to seep from his neck, intensifying his scent. I closed my eyes and drank deeply of his blood.
“Nngh.”
As I sucked harder, a tight, slurping noise filled the air, like trying to drink the last drops from an empty bottle with a straw.
But that was only for a moment; soon, the sweet, rich blood filled my mouth, almost overwhelming my tongue with its taste.
To make him believe I was no different from any other Cremon, I drank greedily, no longer hiding my thirst. The blissful taste I had long restrained myself from was enough to drive me mad. At this moment, I had no desire to hold back, nor could I.
I indulged in him like it was the first time I had ever become a Cremon, losing myself to the instinct, drinking as if this might be my only chance.
A savage satisfaction rose within me. I wanted to devour him from head to toe.
I don’t know how much time passed. At some point, I couldn’t tell whether I was drinking to prove something or just to quench my thirst.
Then, Yu-geon, who had been silently enduring everything, his hand resting limply where I placed it, suddenly let his hand fall weakly to the ground. The darkness inside flickered, and my dizzy vision began to clear.
“…”
I was suddenly struck with a cold fear. I pulled back and cautiously examined Yu-geon’s condition with just my eyes. He was quiet, his eyes closed. His complexion was as pale as someone drained of all their blood, and his limbs were limp.
With trembling hands, I slowly placed them over his chest. The brief moment felt like an eternity, stretching beyond any measure of time.
…Thump. …Thump.
Thankfully, his heart was still faintly beating. Slowly, he opened his eyes, staring at me with a gaze that was hazy and distant.
“I should get something out of this too. We just renegotiated our deal. I guide you, and you regularly offer me your blood.”
Though I was shocked, I forced myself to speak casually as if nothing was wrong.
“No need to look at me like that. I’m a Cremon who can’t even control my own desires. This much should be easy for me. If you’re going to pair with a Cremon guide, you need to accept these terms.”
“…”
Yu-geon said nothing. His expression was hard to read—he seemed both angry and utterly resigned. The mouth that had once argued with me was now tightly shut. This was the outcome I had wanted, but the taste of his blood lingering in my mouth now felt bitter.
I swallowed dryly, turned around, and opened the door.
“Thanks for the meal, Yu-geon. I’ll look forward to next time.”
The door closed with a heavy thud behind me. A few seconds later, I heard the door lock engage. Silence soon enveloped the space.
I often fail to recognize what I have, or how valuable it is, until it’s slipping away. The warmth I hadn’t even realized was surrounding me slowly began to fade. All the efforts I’d made seemed meaningless, as if I had returned to the site of the accident five years ago.
* * *
As soon as I got home that night, I collapsed in front of the toilet, vomiting everything in my stomach.
Yu-geon’s blood, the parfait and pasta, and the salad Han-gyeol had made for me—all of it came back up, burning my throat as it did.
“Ugh, urgh.”
Even when there was nothing left to throw up, I kept gagging until I was just spitting up bile, then finally closed my eyes.
Rrrr.
I opened them again when my phone’s alarm went off. The usual electronic tone seemed louder than usual. The time was 7 AM. I had definitely come home around 10 PM.
“Looks like I slept here…”
As soon as I became aware of my surroundings, the ache in my back from lying on the hard tiles hit me. Time, as always, marched on regardless of what happened to me.
There was a time when I found the passage of time overwhelming, but now I felt nothing at all. It was a life I couldn’t end, no matter how much I wanted to. I simply got up, rinsed my mouth with water, washed up, put on a crisp uniform, and left my room.
As always, I wore red lipstick.
* * *
As soon as I arrived at the center, I grabbed a coffee and headed straight for the rooftop. The rooftop of the main building had been off-limits for a while after a natural Esper had, as a prank, burned all the grass there last year.
But for some reason, Han-gyeol knew the access code. I figured he probably used his usual reliable and upright image to sweet-talk the manager into giving it to him, possibly using the excuse of needing a place to smoke.
Han-gyeol was fundamentally a person who valued principles, but he had a sly side, using things to his advantage in a subtle way. If you weren’t close to him, you wouldn’t easily notice that about him.
He had a clear boundary, and even if he occasionally crossed it, he never seemed out of place. That’s probably why Han-gyeol shared the rooftop code with me. We usually met in the conference room for personal conversations, but when we wanted to keep our discussions completely private, we’d meet on the rooftop.
‘Trying so hard to hide it, and now this.’
There were many things I found puzzling about him.
“What’s this? You’re the one who asked to meet here.”
With a click, Han-gyeol opened the door and walked over. Checking my phone, I saw it was 8:32 AM. It hadn’t even been two minutes since I sent the message.
“As I mentioned yesterday, I can’t meet that Sunbae.”
I looked up at the sky, then quickly turned my head. The gentle spring breeze ruffled my hair as it passed. Han-gyeol didn’t slow his pace as he came to stand beside me.
He fumbled in his pocket for a moment before hesitating, casting a cautious glance in my direction.
“You can smoke.”
At my permission, he took out a cigarette and lit it. The pink lighter with a cartoon character on it, which didn’t suit him at all, sparked to life with a flick of his thumb.
‘I remember that Sunbae was completely dumbfounded by it.’
That lighter was a gift I gave to Han-gyeol when I was in elementary school.
“Was everything okay with Yu-geon yesterday?”
Han-gyeol inhaled deeply through the filter and exhaled, completely changing the subject as if he hadn’t heard what I said.
“Yes.”
“Yu-geon seemed really upset. Did you clear up the misunderstanding?”
“…Yes.”
“That’s a relief. I was worried.”
Han-gyeol looked up at the sky quietly. His gaze was too calm for someone who claimed to have been worried.
“I was thinking about it yesterday.”
He suddenly spoke.
“Do you remember when I asked if there was another reason?”
“There is another reason.”
“What is it?”
Yesterday, that question had unnerved me, but now, I was fine. Pretending to be calm was something I was particularly good at.
“You don’t feel like a man to me.”
Han-gyeol responded with a simple “Ah,” as if out of habit. Then he chuckled out loud.
“I’m not lying.”
“I know.”
“I’m serious.”
“I know.”
He didn’t seem to believe me. But it wasn’t entirely a lie. While my heart did occasionally flutter around him, it was mostly because his uncharacteristic behavior made me feel awkward rather than anything romantic.
In those moments, I would freeze up, unsure of how to respond or what to do next.
When is this going to be released?