“Why wouldn’t I be okay?”
Yu-geon widened his eyes at my response. Inwardly, I felt relieved that I had rejected Han-gyeol’s pair request and accepted Yu-geon’s instead. Although Han-gyeol had recently seemed a bit off, he hadn’t said anything explicit since I paired with Yu-geon.
I decided to dismiss Han-gyeol’s odd behavior as mere jokes, considering his silence on the matter.
After all, pairing with Yu-geon was necessary, and in hindsight, it was fortunate that our conversation didn’t go further that day. Ultimately, it was the best choice for an Esper to pair with the guide with the highest match rate.
Both Han-gyeol and I had made the best decision as awakened individuals.
Although Captain Yura was known for her unpredictability, Han-gyeol was steady, and I thought they would get along well. I withdrew from the increasingly noisy conversation and focused on my work.
“Am I the weird one…?” Yu-geon muttered to himself.
* * *
“Goodbye, I’m heading out first.”
It was already quitting time. I had planned to leave early today, but after hesitating over various things, I ended up leaving right on time. Han-gyeol was still in a meeting with Yura, even after hours.
As I left the office, Yu-geon followed me out. The dormitory was visible just past the park behind the center. Despite the short distance, Yu-geon insisted on escorting me every time.
I had scolded him for being overprotective, but he insisted it was Han-gyeol’s order, so he didn’t relent. Hence, we commuted together every day.
The entrance to the park between the center and the dormitory was thick with foliage, emitting a strong scent. When the fresh smell of grass faded, a vast open space unfolded.
In the center of the open space stood a large fountain, which today was frozen in its spouting shape.
‘It wasn’t like this this morning.’
Probably one of the nature-type espers had frozen it as a joke on their way out.
“Do you think Han-gyeol will pair with Captain Yura?”
“Who knows.”
Yu-geon glanced at the ice sculpture and clenched his fist in the air. With a cracking sound, the ice shattered instantly. The fountain returned to its original state, gracefully spraying water.
‘If I were to become a Cremon anyway, it would have been better if I had such a powerful offensive ability.’
My ability was speed, making it more suited for defense and escape rather than attack. It was good for hiding, so I should consider myself lucky.
“Since they’re talking for so long, maybe they won’t pair up.”
“Could be.”
“What do you think they’ll do?”
“How should I know?”
“Don’t just brush me off. Think about it properly.”
Annoyed by my indifferent response, Yu-geon stopped me. He seemed very interested in Han-gyeol’s pairing. I guessed it was natural since it involved his brother.
Not wanting to prolong the conversation, I decided to give a plausible response.
“If their wavelength is below 30%, they probably will. It looks tough for them to hold on.”
“…Right?”
“If you’re curious, go ask him directly.”
“……”
Yu-geon fell silent immediately. Come to think of it, they hadn’t been hanging out together recently. They used to follow each other closely, but it seemed they had drifted apart.
“Did you fight with Han-gyeol?”
“No.”
“Then why aren’t you two together anymore?”
Yu-geon’s eyes drooped, looking sad. It seemed like something had happened.
“I’m going to be independent from him. I want to establish my own place in the center, not just as Han-gyeol’s brother.”
Despite his sad expression, he spoke with determination. Although I didn’t know the details, it seemed like a good idea to develop self-reliance.
“So, Captain Yura will pair with Han-gyeol but won’t date him?”
“Probably.”
“What do you think about having a different partner and lover?”
“Are we back to this again?”
I was getting tired of the topic. However, I suddenly realized that Yu-geon’s focus seemed to be more on the idea of having different partners and lovers than on Han-gyeol’s pairing.
He had been very surprised by Yura’s words in the office. I started to voice my thoughts but hesitated and shut my mouth.
Was he thinking about trying it himself?
“Do you want to date someone?”
“What?”
The possibility seemed real. Yu-geon was young, and newly awakened individuals often dated a lot at the center, where everyone had attractive appearances.
“I don’t care. Do what you want.”
“No. How could I date someone else?”
“Why not?”
“…What about you? Would you be okay with having different partners and lovers?”
Yu-geon quickly changed the subject, looking flustered.
“Could you date another man?”
“Do I really need to answer this?”
“Yes.”
His question felt absurd, but Yu-geon’s expression was so serious that I felt compelled to answer.
“I’m not dating anyone.”
“Really?”
He brightened up immediately.
“Yeah. How can a Cremon date? It’d be a hassle to hide everything.”
“Oh… right… You’re a Cremon.”
With my response, he deflated again.
‘What is he thinking, asking this?’
Does he sometimes forget I’m a Cremon? Since becoming one, I’ve prioritized keeping my secret above all else.
But dating? Such a frivolous relationship had no place in my life anymore.
“So if you weren’t a Cremon, it wouldn’t matter?”
“Why are you asking hypotheticals?”
“Because you’ll become human later.”
Yu-geon spoke as if my becoming human was a certainty. Too tired to argue, I just nodded.
“Yeah.”
Yu-geon seemed dejected again. Sometimes Espers, especially those paired for the first time, got overly attached to their guides, fearing the loss of their lifeline.
I understood why Yu-geon had been hostile towards other Espers around me lately. He was new to being an Esper and new to having a pair, so he was still figuring things out.
I decided to address this directly.
“Do you want to date me?”
“No!”
He reacted almost explosively.
“Then why are you acting like you’re policing who I date?”
Direct talk was best with him.
“Don’t confuse liking guiding with romantic feelings. Don’t think of the pair relationship as dating from a civilian perspective. It’s uncomfortable when you act like you own me.”
“…”
“I haven’t said much because you’re new to this. I thought you’d get used to it with time.”
“Get used to this?”
Yu-geon still seemed confused, as if he didn’t understand at all. I felt a bad premonition. Some Espers never overcame their attachment to their guides.
These people usually fell into two categories: selfish individuals who wanted to possess everything, and those who genuinely fell in love with their guide.
I feared Yu-geon might be the first type. He sighed, looking like he was giving up.
“Yeah. Why should it matter who you date… But let me know if you’re interested in someone. Try to avoid other Espers…”
“What do you mean ‘let you know’? Are you my mother?”
And he definitely wasn’t the second type. Those who loved their guides romantically.
“What if it’s safer to be with an Esper…?”
“Didn’t you say you don’t care as long as it’s not Han-gyeol?”
“Geez, this is driving me crazy.”
Now he wasn’t even listening to me properly. It seemed like he was fighting an internal battle.
‘Esper growing pains, huh.’
“Stop talking nonsense and come here.”
“Why?”
We had arrived at the front of the GS Dormitory. I stopped and looked around. I couldn’t put this off any longer. I carefully broached the topic I had been meaning to discuss since the morning.
“Today is my ‘meal’ day.”
I used the Cremon slang for feeding because it wasn’t safe to talk openly. I hoped Yu-geon would understand, given that he knew I was a Cremon.
“If you’re hungry, we can grab a bite nearby.”
But Yu-geon betrayed my expectations, showing how clueless he was. Assuming he would catch on was a mistake.
It was hard for non-Cremons to understand… Did he forget I was a Cremon?
I sighed and checked our surroundings again for any people. Seeing no one, I leaned close to Yu-geon’s ear and whispered.
“It’s the day I go to feed.”
Yes, today was my feeding day. It had been over two weeks since my last feeding.
Normally, I would have fed last week, but I had used Yu-geon’s blood during the pairing test and managed to hold off with the blood extracted from the creature meat Yu-geon had brought as a threat.
But this week, I couldn’t wait any longer. Despite spending a lot of time with Yu-geon lately, I had begun to notice his scent more strongly.
“I need to go outside the center, and guides can’t leave alone. Come with me and lend me your smartwatch.”
They checked IDs at the main gate, so I planned to leave with Yu-geon and borrow his smartwatch. The location tracking was on the smartwatch, so they would think we were together.
“Where are we going? Zone A17? You can’t go there even with an Esper.”
“Not there. We’re going somewhere else.”
Zone A17 had been restricted for guides since the attack. It would remain off-limits until the incident was resolved.
So I planned to go to Emily’s house in Zone B, where she had prepared my share of creature blood.
“Where exactly?”
“You don’t need to know.”
“Is it with that friend again?”
When Yu-geon mentioned that friend, I blinked rapidly. When I had asked Emily about that day, she had said she hadn’t encountered Yu-geon.
“What are you talking about?”
“I saw her from the back. When I opened the door after you ran away, I saw a girl with long hair running off.”
“……”
“Is she a Cremon too?”
“No.”
“Be honest. I won’t report it.”
I was torn. I had pretended not to know, but Yu-geon had remembered Emily’s appearance. I didn’t think he would report her, but revealing she was a Cremon wasn’t something I could do lightly. It was a matter of life and death.
“Never mind. If you don’t want to come, just lend me your smartwatch. I’ll find a way to sneak out.”
“It’s not that I don’t want to.”
“Then what?”
“It’s dangerous to go alone. It hasn’t been long since the attack. I’ll come with you.”
“You’re going to come while I feed?”
“Yes.”
