Honestly, I wasn’t too worried about Su-ha. Whatever she said, I could just apologize and move on. Even if she cursed me behind my back, I wouldn’t care.
But Han-gyeol… Just thinking about him made me feel queasy. If Han-gyeol hadn’t suggested pairing up as a joke, how absurd must he have found the situation?
Still, I couldn’t reject Yu-geon’s proposal. Given my current situation, if pairing with him would keep his mouth shut, it was more than I could hope for.
Revealing to Han-gyeol that I was a Cremon was far worse. So, I decided to tolerate the associated discomfort.
‘Let’s just go.’
I prepared to leave for work earlier than usual. The entire time, I rehearsed responses to potential questions from Han-gyeol.
“It just happened that way.”
What kind of excuse is that?
“Baek Yu-geon and I have a high matching rate.”
That wouldn’t explain why I’d been pushing him away all this time.
“I felt sorry for him struggling all this time.”
Maybe that one would be somewhat believable. I sighed deeply, settled on the last excuse, and left the house.
* * *
I bought a coffee from the company cafe on the first floor and headed straight to the office. I planned to drop off my things quickly and escape to the guiding waiting room before anyone else arrived.
Facing Han-gyeol was inevitable, but I wanted to avoid it as long as possible today. However, as soon as I entered the office, I saw someone in the farthest corner.
His large frame was unmistakable. It was Han-gyeol.
“Good morning.”
“……”
I greeted Han-gyeol as I entered. Being right in front of his desk, there was no way he didn’t hear me. Yet, he remained silent.
‘Should I tell him about the pairing first?’
The atmosphere felt stifling. It would be easier to blend in if there were more people around. Fidgeting with my tumbler, I turned on my computer and started aimlessly browsing the center’s website.
“Guide Gu Sa-weol.”
“Yes.”
Han-gyeol called me. Trying to stay calm, I walked over to his desk. As I approached, he handed me a piece of paper.
“You’re pairing with Esper Baek Yu-geon, right?”
It was a pair request form.
“…Yes.”
“Pair request forms need to be filled out by hand. Since it’s your first time, I’ll explain how to do it.”
“Yes.”
Han-gyeol’s tone was measured and professional, devoid of any warmth. He began to explain the process, and I focused on his instructions, feeling the tension between us.
“Here, you’ll need to write both your name and Baek Yu-geon’s name, along with your respective IDs. Then, explain briefly why you’re requesting the pair.”
“Alright.”
I took the form and began to fill it out, my hand slightly trembling. The awkward silence was palpable as Han-gyeol watched me.
“Is there anything else I should know?” I asked, trying to keep my voice steady.
“No, that’s it. Just make sure it’s legible.”
“Got it.”
I finished filling out the form and handed it back to Han-gyeol. He took it without a word and glanced over it briefly.
“Good. Submit it to the admin office by noon.”
“Okay.”
I turned to leave, but Han-gyeol’s voice stopped me.
“Sa-weol.”
“Yes?”
“Why did you agree to pair with Baek Yu-geon?”
The question caught me off guard. I hesitated for a moment, then gave the response I’d rehearsed.
“I felt sorry for him, struggling all this time.”
Han-gyeol’s eyes narrowed slightly, but he said nothing more. I took that as my cue to leave and quickly exited the office, my heart pounding.
* * *
The rest of the day passed in a blur. I managed to avoid Han-gyeol and focus on my tasks, but the tension remained. I couldn’t shake the feeling that things were only going to get more complicated.
As I prepared to leave for the day, I received another message from Yu-geon.
「Remember to meet me tomorrow morning for the pair assessment. Don’t be late.」
I sighed and replied quickly.
「Got it.」
Just as I was about to put my phone away, another message came through.
「And don’t forget to stay out of trouble.」
I rolled my eyes and stuffed my phone into my bag. It was going to be a long day tomorrow, and I needed to be prepared for whatever came next.
* * *
The next morning, I arrived at the center early. I wanted to be punctual for the pair assessment with Yu-geon. As I walked through the corridors, I ran into Han-gyeol.
“Morning,” he said, his tone still cold.
“Morning,” I replied, trying to sound casual.
We walked in silence for a few moments before he spoke again.
“About yesterday… I hope you know what you’re doing.”
“I do.”
I said, trying to reassure him.
“It’ll be fine.”
He nodded but didn’t seem convinced. We parted ways, and I headed to the meeting room where Yu-geon was waiting.
“Ready?”
He asked as I walked in.
“Yes.”
I said, trying to sound confident.
We spent the next few hours going through the assessment, proving our compatibility as a pair. It was exhausting, but we managed to get through it without any major issues.
By the end of the day, I felt drained. As I walked out of the center, I couldn’t help but wonder how long I could keep up this charade. The secret of being a Cremon weighed heavily on me, and I knew it was only a matter of time before things came to a head.
For now, all I could do was take it one day at a time and hope that Yu-geon’s plan would work.
“First, you need to briefly fill out your personal information and review your guiding history.”
Han-gyeol’s demeanor was as it usually was. He was polite yet maintained a professional distance, speaking clearly and concisely. As he explained, I kept watching his expression.
But why is he using formal language when it’s just the two of us in the office?
“Are you taking any medications?”
“No.”
“Then you just need to fill this out and go to the diagnostic center for the matching rate test. Once the test is complete, bring it back to me for approval.”
“Understood.”
Han-gyeol handed me the paper and immediately turned his attention back to his monitor, starting his work.
I stood there for quite a while. He didn’t ask why I hadn’t left yet, treating me as if I were invisible.
“Um…”
I finally spoke up, feeling awkward. Han-gyeol looked up at me again.
“Why aren’t you asking for the reason?”
“I thought I explained that.”
There was a section for the reason on the pair request form. Just as Han-gyeol had said, he had explained with examples that most people write something like, ‘to increase guiding efficiency due to a high matching rate.’
But I was referring to the real reason, not just the required one for the form. I thought he would be curious. Not in a good way, but still curious.
Of course, asking this question now was like digging my own grave. Yet, letting it pass would leave a bad taste in my mouth.
Moreover, his actions in the capsule yesterday bothered me. If he truly didn’t care who I paired with, it would be strange from my perspective.
‘So, his words yesterday were just a joke.’
I had been troubled by rejecting his pair request and had thought over his affectionate actions from yesterday.
I stared at him. Han-gyeol was silent but didn’t look angry either.
“……”
“……”
For a while, we exchanged glances like in a staring contest. Just as I was about to feel disappointed, Han-gyeol started to say something.
“…Th—”
“Good morning!”
A bright voice cut him off. Someone walked up to us with long strides.
“Oh? You both got here early.”
It was Baek Yu-geon. Han-gyeol, at Yu-geon’s appearance, shifted the topic.
“Esper Baek Yu-geon, I explained the pair request form to Guide Gu Sa-weol, so you can listen and get my approval by noon.”
“Understood.”
Yu-geon returned to his desk. Seeing that I was still standing in front of Han-gyeol, he gestured for me to come over. I slowly turned and walked to Yu-geon’s desk.
“Why did you come so early?”
“You told me not to be late.”
“Why do you listen so well? We should have paired up sooner, right?”
Yu-geon laughed, oblivious to my uneasy feelings. I glared at him and stood up.
“Let’s go fill this out somewhere else.”
“Why?”
“It’s stuffy in here.”
Dragging the reluctant Yu-geon, I moved to the farthest meeting room from the Alpha Team office.
***
“Baek Yu-geon, can we reconsider our pairing?”
“What?”
Yu-geon’s face twisted immediately upon hearing my words.
“Actually, before talking to you yesterday, a senior requested to pair with me.”
“And?”
“I told him I couldn’t. How could I pair up with him?”
“……”
Yu-geon still looked at me with a frown.
“But then he told me not to pair with anyone else either…”
“And you agreed to that?”
“Yes. I didn’t plan to pair with anyone else anyway.”
Yu-geon tilted his head as if deep in thought, then asked calmly.
“Why do you think I want to pair with you?”
“To guide.”
“No, not that.”
Seeing my confused expression, he sighed and explained.
“It’s because I’m worried you’ll bite someone else during guiding.”
What does he take me for?
Even though I told him yesterday that I could handle guiding just by holding hands, he clearly didn’t believe me.
“Do you really see me that way?”
Yu-geon looked at me with a mixture of concern and frustration.
“Yes, because you’re a Cremon. It’s not just about holding hands, it’s about making sure you don’t lose control.”
I sighed, feeling the weight of his words. He was right to be cautious, but it hurt to be seen as a potential threat.
“I get it. You’re trying to protect others. But you need to trust me too.”
Yu-geon shook his head slightly.
“It’s not about trust. It’s about safety. If you were anyone else, I’d be just as cautious.”
His words stung, but I understood where he was coming from. The stakes were high, and he was trying to protect both me and those around me.
“Fine. Let’s just get this over with.”
I took a deep breath and focused on the task at hand. We needed to complete the pair request and get Han-gyeol’s approval. Once that was done, we’d have to work together to maintain this delicate balance.
As we filled out the form, I couldn’t help but feel a mix of emotions. Frustration, fear, and a small glimmer of hope. Maybe, just maybe, we could make this work without everything falling apart.
Yu-geon and I finished the paperwork and headed back to Han-gyeol’s desk for approval. He looked over the form, nodded, and signed it without a word.
“Thank you,” I said softly.
Han-gyeol simply nodded, his expression unreadable.
As Yu-geon and I left the office, I couldn’t shake the feeling that this was just the beginning of a long and challenging journey. But for now, all I could do was take it one step at a time and hope for the best.
“Sure, one reason is to guide with you, but that’s not the main purpose.”
“Liar.”
I retorted bluntly, and Yu-geon waved his hand dismissively.
“Anyway, it’s not happening. I get worried just seeing you with someone else, and even more if you’re going to guide them. If we pair up, I’ll reject all your guiding requests, so keep that in mind.”
When paired, both parties have priority over each other. Since the bond can affect the matching rate, a partner has the right to veto others. Not having to guide other Espers wasn’t necessarily bad for me, but there was one problem.
“Then I can’t guide with Han-gyeol anymore?”
“Of course not.”
“……”
“Why? Do you want to?”
“Yeah.”
Since joining the center, Han-gyeol and I hadn’t met outside of work. I knew he was cautious, worried that any negative influence might impact us both, but it often felt like he was deliberately drawing a line between us.
However, in the capsule, he was still kind, and during the accident, he was the first person to look for me. Even when people feared that survivors might be Cremons, he trusted my word that I hadn’t seen anything while hiding in the cabinet.
Han-gyeol was a constant figure in my life. Being with him felt like shedding all burdens and returning to my childhood. Guiding with him was one of the few precious times I had.
“When you become human again, you can guide all you want. I won’t interfere then.”
Yu-geon didn’t react with disbelief or mockery to my blunt response. He spoke as if he had expected it.
“…And if I can’t become human again?”
“Then you’ll never do it.”
Yu-geon looked at the paperwork and then raised his eyes, his expression more determined than ever.
“Let’s stop talking about this. How do I fill this out?”
He scooted his chair closer to me. I gave up pressing further, sensing he wouldn’t relent. Yu-geon had been firm yesterday as well.
If I pushed too much, he might tell me to leave the center again. I picked up a pen and explained the form to him as Han-gyeol had explained to me.
Yu-geon nodded occasionally or asked simple questions like, “Why do we need to write this?”
I answered what I knew, but for things I wasn’t sure about, I coldly replied, “Just write it as instructed.” He chuckled at my curt responses.
“So, we just need to go to the diagnostic center now?”
“Yeah.”
“We should hurry then. Let’s go.”
“Wait a second.”
“What?”
I stopped Yu-geon as he was about to leave the meeting room.
“How are we going to handle the matching rate test?”
“What do you mean?”
At the diagnostic center, we would need to undergo a matching rate test. While the computer already had preliminary matching rates from our resonance records, the pair request required a more precise calculation through various tests.
But the process was a bit…
“I don’t kiss during guiding.”
Guiding has three stages: Stage 1 involves simple physical contact like holding hands or hugging. Stage 2 involves more intimate contact, including caresses and kisses.
Stage 3 involves sexual intercourse. Thankfully, the matching rate test didn’t go as far as Stage 3, but I was still worried about Stage 2.
Yu-geon smiled, then reassured me casually.
“How about just a bit of neck biting? With our high matching rate, that should be enough.”
Yu-geon seemed relaxed. Given that awakened individuals were generally less averse to physical contact due to the nature of their jobs, his attitude made sense.
But this guy had only been in the center for a month. What kind of person is he?
“Yeah… but there are other issues too.”
I decided to let it go for now. Whether Yu-geon had a wild past wasn’t my main concern.
I had debated whether to bring this up last night, but preventing an unintended incident seemed wise.
“Stay still for a moment.”
I approached Yu-geon. At first, he watched me blankly, but as I got closer than he expected, he flinched and backed away.
“Why, why are you doing that?”
Yu-geon backed into the whiteboard wall. Ignoring it, I grasped his shoulders and stood on tiptoe to get even closer.
“Hey, wait. Gu Sa-weol?”
“What.”
“Shouldn’t we close the blinds for something like this? Huh?”
I inhaled near his neck. The sweet scent made my mouth water.
“Hey, wait a second.”
“Shut up.”
I pressed my lips to his neck and lightly bit down. Yu-geon tensed up, but didn’t push me away.
“See? I can control it.”
“That doesn’t mean you should test it like this!”
I pulled back and stepped away from him, wiping my mouth. Yu-geon looked flustered but also somewhat relieved.
“Alright, let’s go get this over with.”
I nodded, feeling a bit more confident. Despite the awkwardness, I had to prove that I could handle this. Together, we walked out of the meeting room, ready to face whatever came next.
