73.

 

Aisa didn’t exactly hide the fact that she was hesitant about this marriage. She had made it a habit to sit down and scrutinize him with a gaze full of tension, wariness, and doubt.

It was entirely his fault for impulsively closing the distance between them, so Norma made sure to wear the most harmless expression possible as he endured her gaze. He knew all too well that things had gone far too smoothly for someone who had confessed his feelings so rashly.

Was it just luck?

Norma Diazi was well aware of how cowardly he had been in cornering Aisa McFoy that day. He had exploited the fact that she was particularly vulnerable around him and had deliberately presented her with difficult choices.

Norma was fully conscious that he had secured a place by her side through such underhanded methods.

‘Impulsive, foolish, and underhanded.’

Since waking from his long sleep, meeting Aisa McFoy, and realizing his feelings for her, Norma had become a stranger to himself. More precisely, it seemed that the ‘real’ Norma Diazi wasn’t the paragon of restraint and austerity, but rather this side of him.

‘I crave her. I’m greedy for her.’

The more his feelings for her grew, the more his impulses, foolishness, and underhandedness expanded within him. His desires were boundless when it came to her.

‘Am I not the most dangerous person by her side?’

For a man who had been raised with strict discipline and held high moral standards, these feelings were deeply unsettling. But even so, he could no longer imagine his place being anywhere but beside Aisa.

Whenever those absurdly dark desires surged within him, all it took was meeting her gaze to dispel them completely. Simply locking eyes with her brought him a quick and overwhelming sense of satisfaction.

How fast and easy it was to reach complete happiness. So it was undoubtedly love, and Norma was beginning to fully grasp the meaning of the saying that love is akin to madness.

He was certain of his feelings. However, she didn’t seem to trust his intentions and remained on guard, which inevitably left a small wound on the heart of the man pretending to be innocent.

Even so, Norma allowed a slight smile to creep across his face.

Everything was his fault. He knew that it was entirely up to him to ease her wariness. Though he had acted impulsively several times before her, there could be no more such mistakes.

Step by step. So that he wouldn’t startle her.

The man who sparkled like stardust thought these things as he slowly began to speak to the new bride who was wary of the whole world.

“…But hearing you say that makes me a bit nervous.”

“What’s there to be nervous about? You don’t need to be.”

She mumbled something about how the people of McFoy weren’t entirely without manners.

She was kind, after all. She was soft on the weak. She probably thought she was being harsh, but she couldn’t help being gentle.

‘Even when you look so tired, you can’t just ignore me when I speak weakly.’

“That’s why I…”

“Yes?”

‘…can’t help but be greedy.’

Despite his earlier resolve, Norma couldn’t suppress the impulse to reach out to her, and he opened his mouth. He couldn’t believe his own actions and silently let out a self-deprecating chuckle.

“Could you hold my hand for a moment?”

He didn’t forget to make his voice as pitiful as possible, half-lowering his eyes as he whispered to her.

He felt her gaze shift from his face to his hands, and as her eyes met his hands, his fingers twitched involuntarily—not an act, but the reaction seemed perfectly fitting, as if he were frightened.

Aisa clicked her tongue softly and turned her head to look out the window. Resting her elbow on the windowsill and leaning her chin on her hand, she nonchalantly extended her other hand towards him.

Even that small gesture brought him immense joy. Norma held back the urge to burst into laughter as he took Aisa’s hand and subtly shifted to sit closer to her.

She immediately glared at him like an irritated cat at his sudden movement, but when he whispered, “It’s too far,” she turned her gaze back out the window.

That was permission.

Though she had complained about the difficulty of the carriage ride, she had been dozing off little by little. Before long, she completely closed her eyes.

As he watched Aisa sleep soundly beside him, Norma felt a growing sense of contentment as the distance between them seemed to shrink. He relished the feel of her small hand in his. Even if she didn’t love him, perhaps this would be enough.

‘You still have so many concerns, yet here I am, so happy. Is this really okay?’

Unable to contain his overflowing emotions, Norma finally muttered softly.

“Even if you push me away and regret letting me in, I’ll be fine with it.”

“…I’m too busy to regret every choice I make…”

She murmured irritably in her sleep, as if caught between dreams and reality. Norma smiled softly, surprised to hear her respond when he wasn’t expecting it.

“I really don’t mind anything.”

As he gently caressed her hand, he added in a voice barely above a whisper.

“I didn’t ask for a place by your side to use you as a refuge.”

Her brow furrowed slightly for a moment before smoothing out again.

“For now, it’s enough that you understand that.”

Yes, for now, that was enough. Whether his final words reached her or not, he couldn’t tell.

“I didn’t ask for a place by your side to use you as a refuge.”

‘Yeah, right. As if I’d believe that.’

I immediately responded with a sneer, though I didn’t say it out loud, so Norma didn’t hear it.

Hmph, keep living in that delusion. It’ll be better for you that way!

As I brooded over my bitter thoughts, I heard his voice again, this time from farther away.

“For now, it’s enough that you understand that.”

The desperate tone in his voice made my defenses crumble. Why did Norma Diazi always have to speak in such a way that made people itch with discomfort? He had a real talent for driving people to the brink.

But did he really think I would believe him? Even if this world is nothing more than a flimsy novel, reality is still reality.

Is there truly eternal love, like in romantic novels? Is it really possible to love only one person forever?

Even in romance novels, who knows what happens after the story ends? That’s why there’s a conclusion, after all.

There can’t be anything eternal. Maintaining a lasting relationship is incredibly difficult. The most precious things can change at any time, and that’s just something we have to accept.

And yet, you’re not even someone bound to me by blood, just someone passing by. Who’s to say you won’t leave without looking back when this delusion ends?

I hate when things that are close to me disappear. If they’re going to vanish anyway, I’d rather have nothing beside me from the start.

“Aisa.”

I was sitting with my face buried in my knees, lost in self-deprecating thoughts.

“Aisa.”

Someone was calling my name. Just hearing it made my skin crawl, so of course, it had to be that annoying Norma Diazi.

“Aisa.”

Ugh, I just want to keep sleeping. Why does he keep calling me?

“Are you happy?”

A strange voice echoed in my head at that moment, like a bell ringing from the top of a tower. The shock was like having my head slammed into a bell. I snapped my eyes open, feeling a horrible sensation wash over me. My eyes darted around frantically, like someone cornered.

“Aisa?”

As my eyes moved around in a daze, I saw Norma. He was looking down at me with a deeply concerned expression. The hand that kept sweeping over my forehead and hair seemed to be his. I shivered, my jaw trembling like someone waking from a nightmare.

“Just now, what—”

“Did you have a bad dream?”

“A dream…?”

Did I have a dream? I couldn’t quite remember why I was so startled. All I felt was a deep sense of discomfort.

Dreams are supposed to fade quickly, but could I really forget something so completely in an instant? Judging by my racing heart, something must have happened, but I couldn’t recall a thing.

“It might be better if you lie down for a little longer.”

Norma suggested, still looking concerned. Strangely enough, I felt reassured by his voice, as if I had already grown used to him.

“…But.”

“Yes, Aisa?”

“Why is my head on your lap…?”

“You kept bumping your forehead against the window frame because of the carriage’s shaking.”

Norma explained kindly, even asking with concern if my forehead hurt.

Damn it. Realizing that the hard thing supporting the back of my head was his thigh, I roughly rubbed my face with my hands.

“Ugh… Why has the carriage stopped…?”

“We’ve just arrived at the main estate. You were sleeping so soundly that I didn’t want to wake you, but I figured you’d prefer to get out of the carriage on your own rather than me carrying you.”

He explained gently once again, making me feel all the more humiliated.

“…You did well.”

I tried to act as composed as possible as I shifted to remove my head from his lap. My body, exhausted from the carriage ride, didn’t move as I wanted it to, so I had to rely on Norma’s arm for support.

Once I managed to straighten my back, I closed my eyes tightly and thought about how my dignity had been shattered, clearing my throat as I did so. Then, I turned to the sparkling man who was gazing at me with bright eyes.

“There’s no need to be nervous.”

I extended my hand to him, trying to sound as trustworthy as possible. He blinked at my outstretched hand and then let out a soft laugh, his cheeks flushing as he took my hand.

“Yes, Aisa.”

We had arrived at McFoy’s main estate about two days earlier than usual, and dusk was settling in. As the carriage door opened, I found myself at a loss for words at the unexpected scene before me.

‘What is this?’

Speechless, I looked over at Sir Glen Dogman, who had approached to escort me. Glen merely shook his head slightly, his expression filled with regret.

“If everyone’s out here, who’s taking care of the estate and standing guard?”

I mumbled in a hollow voice as I stepped down from the carriage with Glen’s help.

The West, McFoy, had always been harsh toward outsiders. That much was certain.

What’s with these people with no principles? I looked around at the crowd from the inner estate with a deeply dissatisfied expression.

Usually, only the minimum number of people would come out to greet me. Even on the days when I returned from a long voyage, it was the same.

This was a reception that not even a triumphant general would receive. Just as I thought that, more exclamations burst out from the crowd.

I glanced back to see Norma Diazi stepping out of the carriage, illuminating the twilight scene.

It wasn’t as if the people of the inner estate were seeing this stardust-like man for the first time. Yet, they had all rushed out, holding their breaths and gasping at Norma Diazi’s appearance. For some reason, I felt a sense of embarrassment.

“I felt it last time as well, but McFoy is truly a warm and kind place. Just like you, Aisa.”

Norma Diazi whispered softly in my ear, smiling warmly. It was clear that he had taken my earlier warning to heart.

Quickly covering one ear, I couldn’t help but think how easy it would be to conquer these people.