After I Died, My Husband Went Mad

 

“I’ll look after them.”

The servants who followed Sebelia to the north were loyal and diligent individuals hand-picked by her father.

Denisa liked them, but Sebelia didn’t think much of them.

“They are decent people. Most of them used to work at the Lebleu mansion, so they are quite skilled,” the nanny explained.

“Is that so?”

“Yes. Just this morning, they styled the miss’s hair in a dreamy fashion.”

“Well, that’s true.”

They also managed to conduct themselves well enough so as to not disturb her peace of mind.

But who would have thought that these polite and kind people were scheming behind her back.

* * *

It was a sunny morning, and the wind was gentle.

On that day, after eating breakfast with Dehart, Sebelia had returned to her room to rest.

And on her way there, she had been thinking about how her husband, whom she just saw the first time in a week, still had a gruff demeanor, but also a welcoming gleam in his eyes as he looked at her.

Perhaps he is warming up to me; Sebelia thought, hopeful.

With the pleasant weather, and the exciting changes she was seeing in her husband, Sebelia felt thrilled.

At that moment, a blonde-haired maid walked up to her, handing her something.

“Madam.”

Sebelia was not surprised.

 It had been happening for months now.

“My father has sent me another letter,” she stated.

“Yes, a jeweler from the capital has also arrived. The same gentleman as last time. Would you like to meet him downstairs?”

“…No, wait for a moment. Give me the letter first.”

The hand receiving the letter trembled slightly, and when she noticed that, Sebelia tightened her grip on the paper.

“Father seems to worry too much, even though I’m doing well, don’t you think so?”Sebelia said with a smile.

And nodding in agreement, the maid replied, “That’s how much he cherishes you.”

She was a servant who had come to the North not long after entering the Weddon mansion and was unusually nice to Sebelia.

But knowing the reason for this favorable treatment, Sebelia laughed bitterly.

She must think that all the attention I’m receiving from father come from the heart.

Looking at Sebelia’s smiling face with gentle eyes, the blonde woman added, “You’ve come to such a distant place, Madam. If my child had moved that far, even I would have written to them every day.”

“…I suppose you are right. That must be why he personally sends people to take care of me.”

Yes. Whenever the Marquis had the chance, he would send Jewlers and fabric merchants to the north, claiming to be acting in his daughter’s best interest.

Although I sent everything back every time because they were too extravagant.……

In any case, Sebelia herself was a participant in a strategic marriage between the North and the capital. If she were to show favoritism towards the North, it would definitely cause some political issues, which was why she had been acting with caution, and trying to maintain a balanced position.

“This one is quite thick. Did he send news about the servants’ families along with it this time?”

Sebelia looked at the seal on the thick envelope with a subtle expression. Her father would include letters from the families of the servants she brought with her whenever the envelope looked like this.

And Sebelia wanted to follow his example.

Truthfully, It was an easy way to increase the marquisate’s reputation and gain the servants’ loyalty at the same time.

“Thank you for always taking care of us,” The maid thanked her in a somewhat humble manner.

 As it turned out, the woman had told Sebelia her story a few times, and asked her to write letters to her lover on her behalf.

“Of course,” Sevelia replied, hiding her bitter smile as she tightened her grip on the envelope. 

Seeing the woman being so grateful, it was hard for Sebelia to refuse the servant’s requests this time too. Besides, she wouldn’t mind getting a little closer to them.

Anyway, I should worry about that later; Sebelia shrugged as she placed the letter on the writing desk. What should I write this time to convey the emotions of a daughter missing her father.

Barely suppressing a sigh, Sebelia raised her head. In the moment, she couldn’t help but feel that her situation was quite pitiful.

 She had longed to be loved all her life, but her father never looked back at her, not even once.  And now that she found herself in this useful position, he suddenly needed her.

“Hah….”

A rebellious spirit had started to arise within her like an outbreak as she kept thinking about the subject. She wanted to disregard her father’s requests, and act out, but deep down, Sebelia knew she would never do that.

After all, she found herself strangely pleased with his sudden interest in her, even if it was out of necessity.

She had also carefully preserved every single letter he had sent, filled with new for the servants, in her mailbox.

Perhaps this will help us develop a real father-daughter relationship; Sebelia mused. They do say that the farther away family members are from each other, the more they come to appreciate one another.

Sebelia, who had never experienced even an ounce of affection from her family throughout her life, desperately held onto this tiny strand of hope. Her lingering attachment to her family, her obsession with gaining their affection; it was all like a tenacious and tiresome cage that reason alone could never break her out of.

“Hah…….”

“Madam?”

“Oh, it’s nothing.  The sunlight is too intense, so my head hurts a little.” Sebelia explained, waving her hand.

And in response, the maid immediately lowered thin curtains over the window.

 “I’ll read the letter when I’m alone. We can’t keep the jeweler waiting,” Sebelia decided after a while.

If her father took the trouble to send that person here, he must be making a move in the capital as well, so mistreating such a person could lead to all kinds of rumors.

Sebelia frowned, thinking: The North’s reputation isn’t not exactly favorable.

Especially now that they had abandoned the pacifist stance they had upheld for generations, drawing even more criticism.

I have to compensate for his shortcomings.

Having made up her mind, Sebelia told the maid:

“Tell my husband that, unfortunately, I won’t be able to have tea together today.”

Although she had been looking forward to having tea with him at the greenhouse, it couldn’t be help.

Sebelia swallowed a disappointing sigh.

“Understood, Madam. Oh, and what should I do with the separate gift the Marquis sent?”

“I’ll take care of it myself.  I can’t entrust something Father personally sent to someone else.”

Then, with the perfected tone of a dutiful daughter, Sebelia dismissed the maid.

 At that, the servant withdrew as politely as she had entered the room. Sebelia stared at the letter for a short moment, before rising from her seat and walking down to the drawing-room.

“You’re still as beautiful as ever, Duchess,” the jewler said.

As she was acknowledging his greeting, Sebastia’s eyes lingered on one specific item.

A silver cross adorned with blue gems.

* * *

 Dehart’s birthday was just around the corner.

Troubled, Sebelia kept staring at the crucifix necklace in front of her. She had bought it on impulse, thinking it would suit him.

Did I act to hastily? She asked herself as she rested her chin on her hands, still staring at the blue gems, embedded in the cross, with a worried look.

The stones, glittering under the sunlight, were as dazzling as crashing waves, and even though the merchant said it was just an ordinary item, Sebelia really liked it.

I think it will suit him; Sebelia told to herself, gathering her courage.

It had been over six months since she had married DeHart.

It wasn’t easy at first, but now he even smiled without hesitation whenever he saw her.

Perhaps this gift could take their relationship to the next level.

“Yes. He wouldn’t throw it away,” Sebelia chuckled bitterly, thinking of Neithan.

When she was young, she had saved some money in order to buy a birthday gift for her older brother, wanting to impress him.

And, of course, that gift went straight into the trash can.

Neithan threw it away right in front of her eyes.

But my relationship with Dehart is not like that.

As a couple, their relationship might be plain, but for an arranged marriage, things were quite satisfactory.

So, having made her decision, Sebelia put the necklace back in the box, and stood up from her seat.

 Dehart was waiting for her in the garden filled with blooming spring flowers.

* * *

I didn’t expect this.

Sebelia swallowed a sigh as she looked at Dehart sitting across from her with calm eyes.

For some reason, he was much more well-dressed than usual.

Even though he didn’t like it, he had combed his hair, he even wore gloves on the hands that were flipping through his newspaper.

 He also layered a jacket over his shirt, revealing his sturdy figure, and displaying his masculinity to the fullest.

 He wasn’t like this yesterday; she said inwardly asthe hand clutching the jewelry box twitched awkwardly.

Dehart disliked the stuffiness of clothing clinging to his body, that’s why he usually wore comfortable clothes inside the estate, and this image of him in casual attire overlapped with the boy she once met in her childhood, making it easier for her to approach him.

But in this garden, a sense of distance was overwhelming her, and after a while, Sebelia realized something she had been overlooking all this time.

Right. He’s the Duke of Inverness. A man who won’t even spare a glance for an illegitimate child like me. I must be deluding myself, thinking he’s paying attention to me because he wants to.

It was inevitable for him to acknowledge the bride the capital sent over, so obviously she was getting too carried away.

As realization set in, Sebelia felt her heart drop.

They say delusion is a sweet sickness.

Recalling the words of an old sage, she carefully tucked the box within her sleeve.

Ah, yes. Delusion was indeed a sweet sickness.

It could cast a beautiful veil over everything, like tinted glass placed over one’s eyes.

“You haven’t said a word today.” A voice, as light as a whisper, suddenly pierced through her.

 When she looked up, she saw Dehart’s sharp gaze fixed on her.

“Why not indulge me with your usual silly chatter. Unless you want rumors of discord between us to circulate in other people’s mouths.”

Dehart’s words, casually spoken, swept over her like a brisk wind.

His eyes scanned her, like a bird of prey looking for something.

Seeing this look, Sebelia instinctively folded her hands, worried he might discover the box. However, his beast-like intuition immediately caught her suspicious behavior.

“Speaking of which, I heard you bought something yesterday,” Dehart asked nonchalantly.

“…….”

“If it’s not for the purpose of wearing the jewelry, I wonder why you bought it,” he insisted.

Then, putting down his teacup, Dehart lightly tapped his finger a couple of times on the table.

“Tell me, madam. It’s my duty to make sure you’re not wasting money on frivolities.”

His golden eyes, as if condense with light, stared through her.

After a moment’s hesitation, Sebelia let out a small sigh before placing the box on the table, and as she did so, a fleeting hue of satisfaction passed through Dehart’s pupils.

But it was so brief, Sebelia didn’t notice it.

“What is it?” he asked.

“……It’s nothing significant, it’s just…. your birthday is approaching.” Sebelia tried to explain before reaching out to take the box back.

However, Dehart gently grabbed her hand.

“Hmm.”

Then, opening the lid, he quickly glanced inside the box before casually slipping it into his pocket.

“Not my taste, but it’s worth a look. Perhaps I can try wearing it when I finally decide to become a priest.”

Wait. Does he like it or not? Sebelia thought, feeling a bit confused by what he just said.

 But when she saw that he didn’t even put the necklace around his neck, she concluded that he probably didn’t like her gift.

I shouldn’t do something like this again in the future; Sebelia lamented.

Unaware of her regrets, Dehart stood up from his seat.

“Let’s go. The wind has grown chilly. Why do you insist on sitting here until your face turns blue every time?” Dehart rebuked her in a harsh tone.

So, it’s with heavy step that Sebelia walked back to the mansion.

While, on that night, Dehart locked himself in his study, engaging in a silence battle with the necklace.