Signs of Life (part 1)
Feng Xuan didn’t know how long he had slept.
Perhaps it was a quarter of an hour, or perhaps it was as long as a century.
At first, he realized the reason he lost Qi Zhuoyu was that he shouldn’t have discovered Qi Zhuoyu had no primordial spirit.
So he entered the illusion again, forgetting everything, and once more encountered Qi Zhuoyu in the disaster of the Chaotic Sea.
He had become smarter.
In the illusion, he asked nothing and said nothing.
Feng Xuan felt as if his consciousness had split into two: one immersed in the false reality woven by the illusion, the other clearly examining his every word and action. It was as if he was monitoring himself, afraid that one wrong sentence would shatter this dream again.
They returned to Zhujian Xiaozhu.
Like an ordinary couple that couldn’t be more ordinary, they celebrated the new year, made dumplings, and cut paper. They went to pay respects at Yuan Lou’s spirit tablet, then watched the sunrise over the Chaotic Sea together. Feng Xuan didn’t ask why they could see a sunrise over the Chaotic Sea, so he and Qi Zhuoyu simply basked in the sun once. This was good; this way, there was no problem.
Feng Xuan saw himself in the illusion take out the marriage contract that had been sealed for a hundred years from a small purse.
Everything developed as he had imagined. In the evening, they went to the town at the foot of the mountain to buy two sets of wedding clothes, two red candles, and lots of paper cuttings. He saw Qi Zhuoyu sitting on the Hu bed, looking cool but also a bit smug, cutting many ‘double happiness’ characters. When hanging them up, he deliberately hung them very high to mock Feng Xuan’s height.
Feng Xuan stood on tiptoe to hit him.
Qi Zhuoyu pressed his forehead, then hugged him, and they wrestled together, their laughter filling the entire courtyard.
They married at sunset at Zhujian Xiaozhu.
Changing into brand new red wedding clothes, Feng Xuan had never felt so calm at any moment.
Until after they drank the wedding wine, Feng Xuan sat on the bed and said seriously, “Senior Brother, let’s have Shenjiao.”
Just like before.
Like every time before.
But this time, Qi Zhuoyu didn’t answer him.
The red candles burned quietly in the new room, with only the “crackling” sound of the burning candles audible in the surrounding silence.
Gradually, Feng Xuan became a bit panicked, not knowing if he had said something wrong again.
Qi Zhuoyu looked at him calmly, half his body in the candlelight, half hidden in darkness.
He said, “Xiao Qi, we can’t have Shenjiao. Senior Brother has no primordial spirit anymore.”
Wrong.
Wrong.
He had said the wrong thing again!
He had said it incorrectly again!
One would die without a primordial spirit.
Without a primordial spirit, Qi Zhuoyu couldn’t live.
The illusion was brutally shattered by reality at this moment.
Feng Xuan opened his eyes unexpectedly, rolled over and fell to the ground, suddenly spitting out a mouthful of bright red blood.
The nightmare beast leaped down from the Wutong Tree, worriedly nuzzling Feng Xuan’s legs.
Feng Xuan, as if completely numb, looked at the empty Zhujian Xiaozhu, his expression somewhat regretful.
It was so close.
This time it was just that close.
But it was fine; he now knew what could be said and what couldn’t be said.
Feng Xuan wiped the blood from the corner of his mouth, picked up the nightmare beast, and said softly, “Start again.”
The nightmare beast whimpered, seeming somewhat unwilling.
If Feng Xuan kept entering the illusion over and over to torment himself like this, he would die from exhausting his primordial spirit.
It anxiously circled around Feng Xuan, reluctant to create another illusion for him.
Feng Xuan lay on the Hu bed, curling himself up.
He closed his eyes, unknowingly having cried all his tears dry. He couldn’t cry anymore, he quickly entered the illusion again.
Feng Xuan immersed himself in this illusion more deeply than ever before.
So much so that he began to lose the ability to distinguish between reality and illusion.
When he opened his eyes again, it was already daylight at Zhujian Xiaozhu.
The warm winter sun pierced through the gaps in the Wutong Tree, breaking into small pieces and falling on his Hu bed, shimmering and peaceful.
From a distant valley came the ethereal sound of bird calls.
One after another, long and melodious.
Qi Zhuoyu, as always, pinched his face and smiled, “Awake?”
Feng Xuan stared at him blankly. After a while, he spoke, “Senior Brother, are you real?”
“Of course Senior Brother is real,” Qi Zhuoyu said. “Did getting married make you stupid?”
Feng Xuan’s nose stung, his eyes red, and he suddenly buried himself in Qi Zhuoyu’s embrace without a word.
Qi Zhuoyu seemed to find his behavior strange and felt his forehead, but there was no fever.
Feng Xuan hugged him for a good while before his heartbeat finally calmed down.
He looked up at Zhujian Xiaozhu. They had married last night, and ‘double happiness’ characters still hung on the Wutong Tree. The red candles in the room had burned halfway. He thought, how wonderful, he had finally found Qi Zhuoyu this time.
Feng Xuan settled down at Zhujian Xiaozhu.
In spring, Feng Xuan felt the courtyard was too bare. He went down the mountain to buy some seeds, wanting to plant flowers in the courtyard of Zhujian Xiaozhu. He originally thought Qi Zhuoyu would disagree, but perhaps married men were easily swayed. After Feng Xuan’s persistent coaxing, Qi Zhuoyu couldn’t resist and accompanied him down the mountain to buy many seeds.
Feng Xuan turned over the soil, planted the seeds, and came to check if they had bloomed every two or three days.
Qi Zhuoyu stood behind him with his arms folded. “What are you looking at?”
Feng Xuan looked up. “Checking when these flowers will bloom.”
Qi Zhuoyu snorted. “That’s not difficult.”
He then crudely used his spiritual power to force the seedlings to grow. In an instant, the entire courtyard was filled with all kinds of flowers.
Feng Xuan was truly amazed by this straight man.
Qi Zhuoyu frowned, noticing his unhappiness, and said, “You don’t like it?”
He made a motion to pull them out. “Then I’ll pull them all out.”
Feng Xuan hurriedly stopped him, frightened. “Senior Brother, I don’t dislike them. I just think they bloomed too quickly. What will we plant in summer?”
In summer, those flowers, having absorbed Qi Zhuoyu’s spiritual power, were indeed still stubbornly alive, some even showing signs of becoming spirits.
Feng Xuan pondered deeply and went to the town at the foot of the mountain to buy fruit trees to plant. Zhujian Xiaozhu was so big that he planted those fruit trees outside the courtyard.
When autumn came, the fruit trees began to bear fruit.
Feng Xuan started to pick those fruits. He could only reach the low, short ones. He filled a bamboo basket and took a bite of each according to his preference. For those that were unpalatable with shells, he quietly left them in Qi Zhuoyu’s plate.
After doing so, Feng Xuan felt a bit regretful.
He then divided half of the sweet fruits from his lacquer plate to Qi Zhuoyu.
Feng Xuan lived there like this for spring, summer, and autumn, just like all mortals.
Gradually, as new winter approached, Feng Xuan increasingly enjoyed sunbathing on the Hu bed.
Qi Zhuoyu, whether infected by his laziness or for some other reason, also didn’t like to go outside to cause trouble anymore.
Whenever Feng Xuan lay on the Hu bed, Qi Zhuoyu would squeeze over like a big cat, occupying the already pitifully small bed.
Later, Feng Xuan simply slept in his arms.
He had just dried some pears yesterday, which were crispy when eaten.
Apart from being unpalatable, they basically had no other flaws.
Qi Zhuoyu held him, noticing Feng Xuan’s drowsy expression, and suddenly said, “Why have you been so sleepy lately?”
Feng Xuan, sleepy and confused, answered hazily. “We birds need to hibernate in winter.”
Qi Zhuoyu laughed. “I’ve never heard of any bird that hibernates in winter.”
Feng Xuan mumbled, disagreeing. “The bird Qi Zhuoyu raises will hibernate!”
Qi Zhuoyu deliberately scared him. “Eating a lot and sleeping a lot, are you pregnant?”
This almost scared Feng Xuan awake. He hurriedly covered his stomach. “How is that possible?” He said, still shaken. “If I were to get pregnant, it would have happened long ago. With you bothering me day and night, by now the child might already be running around.”
Qi Zhuoyu, having hit some funny bone, held him and laughed uncontrollably. He buried his head in Feng Xuan’s neck, his arms around his waist, in an extremely intimate posture.
Feng Xuan, still apprehensive, slowly said, “Besides, if I really…Father Emperor would surely strike me dead with lightning. Then he’d come for you next.”
Qi Zhuoyu said, “What’s there to fear? It’s not like your father hasn’t struck us before. Even the thick lightning at Biluo River couldn’t kill Senior Brother.”
For some reason, Feng Xuan really disliked him talking about death like this. He urged him to quickly take it back, becoming like his father – being a god himself but superstitiously believing in gods.jpg
Qi Zhuoyu looked at him and said, “You’ve lived at Zhujian Xiaozhu for so long, don’t you want to go back to White Jade Capital for a visit?”
Feng Xuan’s movements gradually stopped, his expression slowly freezing. Then he turned his head, seeming to realize he had done something wrong again, and said, “I don’t want to.”
Qi Zhuoyu calmly asked him. “Why? Doesn’t Xiao Qi miss Father?”
Feng Xuan stubbornly repeated, his tone panicked. “I don’t want to. I don’t want to go back to White Jade Capital, Senior Brother, I don’t want to, I don’t want to.”
As he spoke, he didn’t notice he had started shaking. His hands were shaking, his eyelashes were shaking, his whole body was shaking.
Winter had come.
The Wutong Tree towered, blocking out the sky. When the wind blew through it, not a single leaf fell. The spring flowers bloomed silently, the summer fruit trees hadn’t withered, time had stopped at Zhujian Xiaozhu, but how could time in reality stop?
Qi Zhuoyu took his wrist and kissed it. “Let’s go back to White Jade Capital, to see your father. You’re sick.”
Feng Xuan shook his head, tears suddenly falling. “I’m not sick, Senior Brother. I don’t want to go back. If I go to White Jade Capital, I won’t be able to find you anymore. You can’t send me away, I want to stay here, I’m not going anywhere.”
Feng Xuan was terrified, hugging him tightly. “We’re already married, I live at Zhujian Xiaozhu, this is my home, I don’t want to go anywhere. You can’t send me away, Qi Zhuoyu, you said we have a predestined immortal fate, that after marriage we’d be together for all lifetimes. You said you wouldn’t leave me, I’m bad-tempered and willful and delicate like this, you’ve already married me so you can’t send me away, you have to indulge me for a lifetime…”
He spoke faster and faster, his voice breaking towards the end. He knew all he said was in vain. He knew he had said the wrong thing again.
Qi Zhuoyu looked at him so quietly. Seeming to be right in front of him, yet also at the edge of the sky. Then in the next second, he disappeared before his eyes.
Another dream illusion.
Another falsehood, why was it false again! He had clearly found Qi Zhuoyu, why was it another illusion!
Feng Xuan nearly broke down.
He struggled to wake up, spitting out even more terrible blood than last time. His mind was already a bit unclear.
Half asleep and half awake, he seemed to hear the anxious whimper of the nightmare beast.
And Feng Li’s heartbroken voice.
He had somehow found his way from White Jade Capital to Zhujian Xiaozhu, lifting him up and holding him in his arms. “Ling’er… why do you torment yourself so?”
