After Being Preached by my Senior Martial Brother

“Don’t you like sunbathing?” Qi Zhuoyu also said, his voice coming from above Feng Xuan. “In the future, you can sunbathe in the demon realm too.”

Feng Xuan didn’t speak, he just quietly hugged Qi Zhuoyu. He wanted to check Qi Zhuoyu’s primordial spirit, but then thought, the big devil must be very tired now, he could check later, he could check in the future.

The sunlight fell on Qi Zhuoyu’s body. People said the sunlight was warm, but Qi Zhuoyu’s body was very cold, very very cold, as cold as ice.

“Not happy? So hard to please.” Qi Zhuoyu promised. “Senior brother will take you wherever he goes in the future, okay?”

Feng Xuan buried his face in his embrace, it wasn’t clear if he was nodding or shaking his head. His tears were flowing silently, as if he knew the ending in advance.

“Still tired?” Qi Zhuoyu guessed one question after another. “If you’re tired, take a nap.”

His voice was very gentle, as if it had never been so gentle before, in an inquiring tone. “Okay?”

“Take a nap, when you wake up, Senior brother will take you sunbathing.”

****

Feng Xuan had a deep sleep.

The dry cold wind blew through the towering wutong tree at Zhujian Xiaozhu, the leaves rustling, falling one after another from the tree, landing on Feng Xuan’s face, startling him awake.

Winter had arrived silently.

“Awake?” Qi Zhuoyu sat by the bed, pinched his face, and said with a smile. “Do you know how long you’ve slept?”

He spoke as usual, like every afternoon when Feng Xuan woke up.

Feng Xuan stared at him for a long time.

Then he suddenly hugged him, burying himself in his embrace.

After a while, his voice was muffled. “Senior brother. I seem to have had a dream.”

Qi Zhuoyu pinched the back of his neck and asked, “What dream?”

“I dreamed that the sky and earth were about to connect, there was water everywhere, and I couldn’t find Senior brother.” Feng Xuan repeated, as if still in fear. “I couldn’t find you anywhere.”

“What a strange dream.” Qi Zhuoyu laughed, his brow slightly furrowing in disdain.

But Feng Xuan murmured. “Fortunately it was just a dream.”

The winter at Zhujian Xiaozhu was warm, he liked to lie on the couch for an afternoon nap.

Not far away, the sound of firecrackers came from the town at the foot of the mountain. Feng Xuan had good hearing, as if realizing something. “In the mortal world today, is it almost New Year?”

Qi Zhuoyu said, “It’s almost New Year’s Eve.”

Feng Xuan hugged him, not letting go. “I seem to remember a bit of the past. On New Year’s Eve, Senior brother, we made dumplings in the mortal world.”

Qi Zhuoyu seemed to remember such a thing too, he asked, “Do you want to eat now?”

Feng Xuan looked up at him, Qi Zhuoyu said, “Senior brother will accompany you to buy.”

Feng Xuan didn’t expect that on his sudden whim, Qi Zhuoyu would really act like an indulgent ruler and accompany him down the mountain to buy things.

The town at the foot of the mountain was very lively. Because of the New Year, the market was open from early morning to late night.

Everywhere was full of warm, lively atmosphere. Lifting the steamer lid revealed steaming buns and wonton.

Feng Xuan bought flour and meat filling. Qi Zhuoyu looked and mocked him a bit. “Do you know how to make dumplings?”

He couldn’t be bothered to respond. Anyway, if he couldn’t make them later, he would just make his senior brother do it.

After buying things for making dumplings, Feng Xuan wanted to buy some other things.

He used his divine consciousness to look at the string of beads around his neck. He was so rich, he should buy more.

So he imitated mortals and bought lots of red paper and couplets.

He remembered that Qi Zhuoyu was half mortal. He definitely hadn’t had a good New Year in the demon realm.

In the evening, as expected, Feng Xuan couldn’t make dumplings.

He scattered flour everywhere on the ground, and Qi Zhuoyu cleaned up the mess for him with a dark face. In the end, Qi Zhuoyu grabbed Feng Xuan by the collar and tossed him aside to sit, giving him two dumpling wrappers to play with while he took over at the stove.

Feng Xuan felt a bit embarrassed, so while making dumplings, he contributed some money.

Afraid Qi Zhuoyu wouldn’t understand, Feng Xuan explained as he stuffed copper coins into the dumplings. “Senior brother, this is a mortal tradition. If you eat a dumpling with a copper coin, you’ll be lucky for the coming year.”

Qi Zhuoyu said he knew, Feng Xuan had told him before.

When it came time to eat, Feng Xuan bit into a dumpling that only contained a silver ingot, a big one wrapped in just a layer of dumpling skin.

He nearly broke his tooth biting down. Qi Zhuoyu laughed loudly seeing him in pain. Feng Xuan was furious, stopped eating dumplings, and started wrestling with Qi Zhuoyu at the table, trying to stuff the huge silver ingot into Qi Zhuoyu’s mouth to make him eat it.

Then they rolled onto the couch.

Feng Xuan was pressed down and kneaded by Qi Zhuoyu. He laughed uncontrollably, then stopped.

Looking at the wutong tree overhead, Feng Xuan lay in his embrace and asked curiously. “Senior brother. Can you tell me about your past? You’ve never told me those things.”

Qi Zhuoyu actually couldn’t remember much about the past anymore.

Those pains and darkness he once thought would follow him for life seemed to have become memories from a previous life after meeting Feng Xuan.

But he still patiently told Feng Xuan.

When he mentioned Yuan Luo, Feng Xuan interrupted him, looking at Qi Zhuoyu eagerly. “Senior brother. I want to go see your mother.”

So Qi Zhuoyu took Feng Xuan back to the Dongyi demon clan.

In the underground palace of the Dongyi demon clan, Feng Xuan saw Yuan Luo’s spirit coffin.

According to Qi Zhuoyu, the coffin before them was empty. Yuan Luo’s real body had long been taken by humans to sacrifice to the barrier of the Chaotic Sea.

Feng Xuan stood before Yuan Luo’s spirit coffin for a long time. He secretly glanced at Qi Zhuoyu.

Feeling embarrassed, he spoke in his heart. “Big devil’s mother, I am Feng Xuan. This may not be my first time meeting you, but I’ve lost part of my memory and accidentally forgot many things. I don’t know if I mentioned this when I came to see you before, so I want to tell you again now.”

Feng Xuan was almost reverent as he told her in his heart. “I really, really like Qi Zhuoyu. Although it’s presumptuous to say this, I really don’t know who else to tell. I should thank you for bringing him into this world, even though he had many unhappy times before. But I promise, I will definitely make him happy in the future. Big devil’s mother, if you have any spirit in heaven, please bless Qi Zhuoyu to like me this much too. I really want to marry him so badly. Please, let me wake up tomorrow as his wife.”

He stood at Yuan Luo’s spirit coffin for so long that Qi Zhuoyu couldn’t help but ask, “What did you say?”

Feng Xuan shook his head, actually a bit embarrassed. “Nothing much.”

After a while, Qi Zhuoyu couldn’t help but laugh, pinching his cheek and saying bluntly, “Didn’t you say you wanted to marry Senior brother? Why deny it when asked?”

Feng Xuan suddenly remembered Qi Zhuoyu’s mind-reading skill and immediately turned red to his ears, angry with embarrassment. “How dare you read my mind casually?!”

“You said it so loudly,” Qi Zhuoyu said. “Senior brother couldn’t pretend not to hear even if he wanted to.”

Feng Xuan said irritably. “Then just pretend you didn’t hear it!”

“That won’t do,” Qi Zhuoyu said. “If Senior brother hadn’t heard…”

The man’s peach blossom eyes were full of mirth. “How could I agree to it?”

As they went down the mountain, Feng Xuan felt like his steps were floating.

His mood was light, happy, dizzy like a cloud.

He seemed not to have expected Qi Zhuoyu to agree to marry him so quickly.

But on second thought, they should have married a hundred years ago. Delaying until now was already as late as it could be.

So Feng Xuan felt a bit urgent, though he couldn’t quite say why he was in a hurry.

On the way down the mountain, he held Qi Zhuoyu’s hand tightly, fingers interlocked, and began to envision their wedding.

He wanted to get married as soon as possible, preferably marrying Qi Zhuoyu tomorrow.

If so, the wedding would have to be simplified, but that was okay. The town at the foot of the mountain had everything; they could marry according to mortal customs.

Feng Xuan’s voice was somewhat elated as he told Qi Zhuoyu. “I want to marry you tomorrow, so we need to quickly go down the mountain tonight to buy two wedding outfits. I originally wanted to make them myself, but I’m afraid there’s not enough time. We also need to buy two red candles to put in the side room of Zhujian Xiaozhu. I remember we have some red paper left from tonight’s purchase. Senior brother, do you know how to cut paper? We can cut some ‘double happiness’ characters to hang on the wutong tree…”

All the way down, Feng Xuan kept talking non-stop.

As if afraid that if he stopped, he would forget all these trivial things.

Feng Xuan felt his speech becoming somewhat confused. Sometimes he would forget if he had said something before, and when he realized it, he seemed to be repeating. “…but I’m afraid there’s not enough time. We also need to buy two red candles to put in the side room of Zhujian Xiaozhu… I remember we have some red paper left from tonight’s purchase…”

Without realizing it, they had walked to the edge of the Chaotic Sea.

That was where the sun rose. He had watched the sunrise here with Qi Zhuoyu before.

Feng Xuan looked at Qi Zhuoyu, saying a bit embarrassedly. “Am I talking too much? I’m just a little anxious.”

Qi Zhuoyu was very quiet, listening to him talk all the way, wearing an indulgent smile.

The surface of the Chaotic Sea was calm and peaceful. The sun was slowly rising from the sea in the east. He had promised him.

When his Xiao Qi woke up from his sleep, he would bring him to sunbathe.

Gradually, Feng Xuan fell silent.

His gaze began to show a hint of blankness, as if he couldn’t understand. “The demon realm has a sun too. How can the demon realm have a sun? Senior brother, how can the demon realm have a sun? Doesn’t it snow here all year round? Why? Senior brother? Why is there a sun?”

Qi Zhuoyu called him softly. “Xiao Qi.”

Feng Xuan finally sensed something was wrong. He grasped Qi Zhuoyu’s hand, “Senior brother. Your hand is so cold. Is it too cold here? I don’t want to sunbathe anymore, let’s go back. Let’s go down the mountain to buy two wedding outfits…”

“Xiao Qi. I can’t go.” Qi Zhuoyu wiped away his tears. “Senior brother has no primordial spirit left.”

In that instant.

The world fell silent.

The wind was silent, the sea surface was silent.

Feng Xuan heard his own voice, bewildered. “How can that be. Without a primordial spirit, one would die, Senior brother.”

Feng Xuan suddenly felt his body shaking uncontrollably. “How can this be, Senior brother? Without a primordial spirit, one would die. But you’re still fine, you’re still here, how can this be?”

He trembled, his teeth chattering.

Feng Xuan tightly gripped Qi Zhuoyu’s hand, releasing spiritual power to probe his sea of consciousness. He opened his sea of consciousness, searching inside.

There was nothing.

Without a primordial spirit, Qi Zhuoyu was like an empty shell. His internal organs were shattered, his meridians were broken, there was blood everywhere. His body was full of blood. He didn’t even know how he had persevered until now, how he managed to talk to him like a normal person, accompany him shopping, accompany him here to sunbathe.

At this moment, Feng Xuan broke down. He frantically searched Qi Zhuoyu’s sea of consciousness with his spiritual power.

Nothing, no primordial spirit.

It was nowhere to be found, he couldn’t find it anywhere.

At this moment, suddenly many memories he had deliberately ignored appeared in fragments in his mind.

He remembered that world-ending catastrophe of the Chaotic Sea, remembered Qi Zhuoyu walking out of the sea ice-cold all over. He remembered he wanted to look at Qi Zhuoyu’s primordial spirit in his sea of consciousness then, but he didn’t dare, he didn’t dare at all. Senior brother’s body was so cold, cold as ice. How could he dare to hope he had survived this catastrophe by luck?

He came back at the risk of death, just because he was looking for him.

He was afraid he couldn’t find him.

Qi Zhuoyu said, “You knew it then, didn’t you?”

Feng Xuan wept uncontrollably like this, never having cried so desperately before. Tears fell in large drops as if they would never stop, then crystalline tears covered his cheeks. He denied it with all his might, as if denial could negate everything, “I don’t know, I don’t know!”

Qi Zhuoyu could hardly speak.

He embraced Feng Xuan almost weakly, futilely comforting him. “Xiao Qi. You’re different from Senior brother.”

“My whole life, from birth, I was unwanted. But you’re different. You have your father, your brothers, your friends. You have many people who love you, and you love them too. They want you to live more than anyone else, and Senior brother wants you to live too.”

“But they’re not the same! They’re not you!”

Feng Xuan was almost in unbearable pain, crying devastatingly in his embrace.

Qi Zhuoyu kept wiping away his tears.

Until Feng Xuan noticed that his body was gradually becoming transparent, breaking apart.

Feng Xuan froze, shaking uncontrollably. He heard himself begging Qi Zhuoyu, his voice trembling and broken, words barely forming coherent sentences. “Senior brother, I don’t want… I don’t want you to die, I don’t want you to die, you promised me you said you’d let me marry you tomorrow, we can go buy wedding clothes tonight, and buy two red candles, I won’t make you cut the ‘double happiness’ character anymore Senior brother I can learn to cut it myself…”

He was so afraid of Qi Zhuoyu disappearing, chaotically and devastatingly repeating these words he had said hundreds of times. “…we can get married tomorrow, I can marry you tomorrow, we can be together forever tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow we—”

Feng Xuan’s words stopped abruptly, tears frozen on his face.

At some point, he had been hugging Qi Zhuoyu tightly.

Then he grasped at empty air, embracing a cold void.

Feng Xuan collapsed onto the ground.

His expression blank, he paused only for a moment before he heard himself break into heart-wrenching sobs.

He faintly heard Qi Zhuoyu’s voice, with a tenderness he rarely heard.

His voice was very soft, telling him: “Don’t cry.” Like before, he said “Take a nap.” Qi Zhuoyu said: “When you wake up, Senior brother will take you sunbathing.”

These words seemed to awaken Feng Xuan.

He stood up with a blank expression, thinking yes, take a nap, everything would be fine after a nap.

Before, he had just taken a nap and woke up to see Qi Zhuoyu.

There was nothing a nap couldn’t fix, that’s how he had always gotten by.

Feng Xuan didn’t know how he made it to Zhujian Xiaozhu.

Nor did he know how he fell asleep on that couch. He forced himself to sleep, his teeth chattering from crying, tears flowing non-stop. He curled up, as if trying to fend off this terrible world through his posture, his whole body trembling.

He knew everything would be fine after a nap.

But he closed his eyes for a very, very long time.

The wind blew the leaves of the wutong tree, rustling, falling one after another onto his face.

In a daze, he seemed to hear people cheering again.

People said “Great!”, “We’re saved!”, we all survived, we survived this winter.

Yes. Everyone survived.

He opened his eyes, seeing the empty Zhujian Xiaozhu in despair.

But he no longer had Qi Zhuoyu.

He no longer had his senior brother.