Chapter 11: Starting a New Chapter in Life
A blurry memory surfaces, it was sometime in my twenties. There was a time when I used a personal day off due to urgent matters while shuttling between the factory and dormitory like a machine programmed to work non-stop.
As time passed so quickly, I went out wearing the work uniform with the current date embroidered on the chest, without even washing it.
As I stepped out of the dreary industrial complex into the vibrant downtown, I couldn’t help but feel excited. It was a stark contrast to the vibrant downtown area I stepped into, which was filled with life and energy.
Then, in the distance, a group of students caught my eye.
“I totally bombed the midterms this time. What should I do about my grades?”
“What’s the use of worrying? We still have finals!”
“What an optimistic bastard. Oh, by the way, don’t forget we have a meeting with the dance class tomorrow.”
“Of course not, asshole. I may forget assignments, but I never forget about that.”
“Okay. Shall we strategize over drinks then?”
“Sure.”
As the students passed by, I stood blankly on the empty street for a while.
Watching the lively college students walking through the budding cherry blossom trees, I felt a twinge of sadness in my heart.
Though they were probably of a similar age, why did I feel such a stark difference?
Turning my head, I caught a glimpse of my reflection in the café window.
Clad in a worn-out gray work uniform stained with grease, I suddenly felt embarrassed. Hastily taking it off, I clumsily folded it and held it close to my chest.
Through the café window, young men and women who seemed to be college students were laughing and chatting while working on their laptops.
The freshness of youth radiating from them made me envious.
Their dedication to investing time and effort for the future seemed dazzling and beautiful to me. It was a stark contrast to the elderly workers in the factory who would often tell me out of habit.
“There’s nothing special about going to college these days. Just earning money like you do is the best. By the time those kids finish their education and start looking for jobs, you’ll probably have already saved up for a down payment on a house, right?”
Whether they were trying to console me or genuinely believed it, their words fell short of my own thoughts. At that time, I had to live in the present like a hamster on a wheel, with no room for change.
The work was always the same monotonous labor, and even if I accumulated seniority, nothing would change. Since I didn’t need to spend money, my bank account was healthy, but my heart felt deflated like a punctured balloon.
Yet the college students reflected in my eyes were different. They had the freedom to choose their own future, with special experiences unique to their college years.
I envied those things.
Why isn’t there a saying like that? People often have more regrets about the roads they haven’t taken than the one they are on.
That was exactly how I felt.
I wanted to enjoy the romance of campus life like others, try out part-time jobs at cafes, experience backpacking trips, attend parties or meetings.
There’s a reason for everything.
There’s a time to play freely with friends on the playground, and there’s a time to reduce play and focus on studying for exams.
Of course, I know well that today’s universities are not just halls of learning; they are becoming more like vocational training centres preparing for another test called employment.
Still, I wanted to experience being a college student.
They say it’s better to try and regret than to regret without trying.
“Being a college student… Let’s give it a try.”
Once I made up my mind, I started scouring the internet.
“No matter how much I think about it, the CSAT is too much. Let’s find another way.”
After struggling in the sea of information and browsing diligently, I decided to utilize the transfer admission system to enter the third year.
“But am I eligible for transfer?”
With only a high school diploma in hand, I looked into whether I could transfer to a university.
“Oh, this method exists!”
Even if you’re a high school graduate, I found out that you can apply for transfer admission if you obtain a degree through a credit banking system called ‘Academic Credit Bank.’
From then on, I accelerated my efforts.
I started studying for the required qualifications and took essential online courses.
However, these were just the basic qualifications for applying for transfer.
Ultimately, what determined the fate of the transfer exam was the ‘English test.’
“If it’s just an English test, it’s worth a try.”
I was somewhat confident in English.
Most of the crew on the ocean fishing ships I worked on were foreigners, and there were many English speakers.
Even though I continued my tough life at sea, I thought I should learn something, so I studied foreign languages diligently through foreign crew members.
“Past me, you deserve a compliment.”
However, the level of the transfer English exam was different.
“What on earth are these words?”
My mental state was completely devastated by the difficulty of the transfer English exam, which was filled with words you might only see in academic papers.
The score of the first practice exam I ambitiously attempted was, to put it mildly, abysmal.
“Isn’t 12 points too much? Even if you guess, you’d get more than this.”
Can native English speakers even solve this? I felt frustrated by the perplexing English that made me doubt myself.
But soon, these worries seemed to wash away.
What used to be lacking in the past is now overflowing.
I had the ‘money’ to overcome this obstacle.
I scoured the transfer admission cafes and found a private tutor who had been accepted to the best school through transfer.
“Hello.”
“Nice to meet you.”
As the front door opened, a man with black horn-rimmed glasses entered.
He glanced around the house with a round face.
Although I felt slightly uncomfortable, I didn’t show it and led the man to the desk.
“I look forward to working with you.”
“Yes. I’ll do my best.”
The tutor took out the prepared materials from his bag and laid them out on the desk.
“First, we need to assess your skills, Dae-woon-ssi. So, let’s start with a simple test.”
As the test progressed, the tutor’s expression darkened.
“Is it really… serious?”
“To be honest… your vocabulary and grammar are at the level of junior and high school.”
It couldn’t be helped.
Since I learned English informally on the ship, my grammar was haphazard, and I only used words that I was familiar with.
“I’ll work my tail off. I’ll do whatever you ask. Just make sure I pass.”
Was it my desperate plea that seemed like I would bow down right away?
The tutor, with pursed lips, looked at the calendar on the wall.
“The transfer exams usually take place between December and February. As of today, there are roughly 8 months left. Moreover, I heard that they also follow the credit banking system. It’s really… not going to be easy.”
The tutor’s negative tone gradually weighed down on my shoulders.
“Even so, if Dae-woon-ssi is truly determined to risk it all… I will help you pass.
Are you confident you can keep up?”
My head snapped up at the tutor’s words.
“I am confident!”
“Good. Since time is short, let’s get started quickly.”
From then on, it was a fierce battle.
Has there ever been a time in my life when I studied so intensely and desperately?
I had to cram hundreds of complex words and grammar rules into my head every day, and I even had to complete the tutor’s wicked assignments.
Skipping meals and filling up on convenience food became my daily routine.
I could confidently say that during this period, no one studied harder than me.
It was extremely demanding.
I didn’t even put down my books when I went to the bathroom or took a short walk.
I even thought I might die from studying too much.
Yet, at the same time…
“I feel proud.”
While the repetitive routine was no different from working in the factory, the emotions I felt were like night and day.
There were times when sitting at the desk all day was exhausting, and I struggled with words that just wouldn’t stick in my head.
But at the end of each day, there was a sense of pride swelling in my chest.
Immersing myself in studying to the point of being akin to rigorous studying, my English skills improved drastically day by day, surprising even the sceptical tutor.
“Huh… I never expected you to improve this much in just 5 months…”
The tutor said while grading the mock exam answers.
“Is this level of achievement promising?”
“It definitely is. You’ve exceeded expectations. Dae-woon-ssi, you have a good head for studying.”
It was the first time I’d heard such words in my life.
Living almost like roommates with the tutor, I could somewhat grasp his personality.
He was someone who couldn’t speak empty words, like a straight shooter.
So I was even more pleased.
My efforts were being recognized.
“If you keep going like this, you could aim for top-tier schools, couldn’t you?”
“Me, really?”
“Of course, assuming you keep up with the assignments I give you. I’ll increase the workload a bit more.”
“Huh…”
My breath was catching in my throat, but what could I do? One thing I realized was that humans develop superhuman abilities to overcome crisis.
I divided non-existent time and dedicated myself even more to studying, and finally, December, with its first exam, approached rapidly.
“Phew…”
The university transfer exam was conducted like past academic tests, where students had to go to the schools to take the exams. Each school had its own exam.
As a result, test takers typically applied to at least five and sometimes more than fifteen schools.
It was a chilly morning, reminiscent of the time when the Han River froze solid.
I took a deep breath, looking at the main gate of the airport university where the first exam would take place.
The rows of thousands of test takers looked like an army of ants.
“There are so many. So many.”
The number of transfer test takers in a year ranged from 20,000 to 30,000.
Among them, the number of people who could enjoy the honour of being accepted to prestigious universities was at most around a thousand.
Snap!
I slapped my frozen cheeks to snap out of it, feeling a mix of anxiety and determination.
“You can do it. Dae-woon, believe in your efforts. Stay calm and just do your best.”
Taking a deep breath to calm my nerves, I pulled out an energy booster out of my pocket, swallowed it, and headed to the exam room.
Starting with the airport university exam, the full-fledged exam relay began.
Since I had applied to all the schools in the Seoul area, January was a month of going back and forth to take exams, so much so that I lost track of time.
In this way, I took a total of 13 exams and anxiously waited for the results, cooped up at home.
“Phew… Phew… Seonsaeng-nim, is it normal to feel this nervous?”
“Of course. I remember how I felt waiting for the results when I was in your shoes.”
Today was finally the day of the announcement of the first-round successful applicants for the airport university, where I had taken the first exam.
I was in such a state of extreme tension the day before that I couldn’t even sleep properly.
The announced time for the successful applicant announcement was 5 p.m.
It was currently 4:55 p.m., with just 5 minutes left.
Why did time feel so agonizingly slow, when normally it would have passed by in a flash with a moment of distraction?
And so, the longest 5 minutes of my life passed by.
“Oh, it’s up!”
I clicked on the link for the successful applicant announcement posted on the website, trembling, and with shaking hands, I entered my name, exam number, and date of birth, and hovered the mouse cursor over the “Confirm” button.
Gulp.
“D-did I make it?”
The tutor looked at me sternly and silently nodded.
Click.
“What…?”
I stared at the laptop screen with a dazed expression.
[Korea Airport University Transfer Admission Announcement]
‘Congratulations. Song Dae-woon has been selected as a candidate for submission of documents for [General Transfer] [Department of Business Administration].
Please follow the submission guidelines……………
In an instant, my nose tingles and my vision blurred.
“You got in! See! What did I say? I said you could do it. Hahaha!”
The tutoring teacher, who was dancing joyfully, enveloped me in a warm hug.
It still didn’t feel real.
In my life, it was the first achievement I desired, chose, and achieved through effort.
My entire body tingle with excitement, and my chest swelled with warmth.
With my arms raised, I let out a triumphant roar of joy.
“I got in!!!! Seonsaeng-nim I got in, right? I really got in, right? Hahaha.”
“Congratulations, Dae-woon-ssi. You still have 12 more exams left. But celebrate this one for now. You deserve it.”
I hugged the tutoring teacher, overwhelmed with joy.
Such ecstasy.
Such a sense of accomplishment.
Why did I live without experiencing this sweetness until now?
I suddenly realized I had been studying well.
But this test was just the beginning.
[Selected as a 2nd stage interview candidate….]
[Congratulations. You have passed the 1st stage of the admissions process……]
The effort I put in for 8 months bore fruit in the form of a passing grade.
And finally.
[Congratulations. You have been finally accepted for admission to the transfer admissions process.]
I could finally be accepted to Hanyeong University, the school I had hoped for the most among the ones I applied to.
That’s how, at the age of twenty-eight, I could become the university student I had dreamed of.
It was the moment when a new chapter of Song Dae-woon’s life began.
