A Blank Slate Regression For The Idol That Lost His Original Intention

[Dear Love]

 

As we got into formation, a soft narration began, followed by the intro of *Dear Love* playing.

 

We didn’t bother with a full rearrangement—just adjusted the vocal range to suit our voices.

 

There wasn’t enough time, and frankly, there was no need.

 

There were no rap parts, so I took the most straightforward vocal section, leaving the rest to Seo Ye-hyun.

 

He suited the pure, innocent concept far better than I did.

 

Looking at the stage outfits, I realized once again that fortune favors those who don’t overreach.

 

By not fighting for parts, I’d be on camera less in this ridiculous outfit.

 

At least Kim Dobin reworked the girl group choreography to fit a boy group, which was a small consolation.

 

If this had been a pre-recorded stage instead of a live performance, it might have been less humiliating.

 

While I struggled to maintain a calm expression, thinking of my humble beginnings, Kim Dobin bounced around the stage with a huge smile, clearly enjoying himself.

 

His face radiated job satisfaction at 100%. How could he still smile like that, wearing these shorts and doing this choreography? What is fandom, really?

 

If I could share the stage with Taker, my favorite foreign rapper, even for a brief 30-second performance in this outfit… Hmm…

 

‘Still, I don’t think I’d be able to smile like that.’

 

Of course, Taker is no longer with us, so the chance of me performing with him is zero. But the thought lingered as I completed a supposedly cute dance move—raising my finger, twirling my arm, and bringing it to my lips.

 

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, the 1 minute and 12 seconds ended, and we were able to retreat.

 

I took a deep breath as the screen parted, and Adora stepped forward to begin their second verse.

 

Their outfits were similar to ours—fluffy ivory or white knit tops, black skirts above the knee, and knee socks.

 

Naturally, though, the Adora members pulled off the cute and lively look effortlessly.

 

Once Adora finished their second verse, the final chorus began, and both groups merged into formation.

 

Even though we only had three joint rehearsals, the collaboration stage was going surprisingly smoothly.

 

There was a waltz-like move where Adora members took our hands and spun us around. I extended my hand, and the Adora member beside me gently placed hers in mine.

 

I worried for a moment if holding hands with a girl group would decrease my initial intention. points, but thankfully, it didn’t.

 

It seemed that the system made allowances for choreography on stage.

 

Yeah, it wouldn’t make sense if it didn’t.

 

[“I’ll remember our pink love story”]

 

We sang the final part, ending the performance by forming hand hearts with the Adora members beside us.

 

After quickly leaving the stage and reviewing the performance, I silently praised the camera work for still being a mess, just as it was seven years ago.

 

After the monitoring session, we greeted Adora before heading back to our waiting room.

 

“Great work!”

 

“You too.”

 

“The choreography was so well adjusted! I was impressed by how natural it looked without any awkward parts.”

 

“Yeah, I was worried a boy group doing it would look silly, but it turned out great.”

 

“Thank you!”

 

Kim Dobin beamed as he received the compliments.

 

While the choreography may have seemed natural, all I wanted was to change out of this outfit, so we started heading to the waiting room when Adora’s leader made a suggestion.

 

“Shall we take a group photo before we go? For SNS.”

 

You want to immortalize this outfit on SNS? Isn’t that a bit cruel…?

 

But as rookies with not much seniority, we had no choice but to nod politely to our seniors’ suggestion.

 

Since Adora was wearing skirts, they stood in the back while we crouched in the front. So much for hiding our bare legs.

 

Once we finally returned to the waiting room, I changed into the outfit for the *Some Ending* stage while the others changed back into their stage outfits for the final stage greeting.

 

Only then did I let out a long-held breath—whether it was relief or frustration, I wasn’t sure.

 

“Hyung, look at this,” Ryu Jae-hee called to me, thrusting his phone screen in my face while I lounged on the couch, reviewing the rap part for *Some Ending* one last time.

 

– What did I just watch?

 

– The male idols in the first verse were intense, lol.

 

– Chosen by Phobos as “A pure concept stage that somehow didn’t feel out of place even with the intensity.”

 

– Nice tops, but not-so-nice shorts, legs, and faces.

 

– Just because you put them in a cute outfit doesn’t mean they actually look cute, LOL.

 

– Isn’t that the group that went viral for filling in for Adora’s rehearsal on YouTube a while back?

 

└ He still looks happy, though. Not sure about the rest of his members.

 

– It’s fine, it’s fine. Shorts are way better than the sponge experiment costumes my oppas wore!

 

“Jae-hee, do you think this is funny?”

 

“It’s good to build a friendly image, you know?”

 

“We’ve already built that image with the generation that grew up watching *Sponge* when we performed in those *Sponge Experimenter* jumpsuits.”

 

Grumbling but feeling relieved that the stage had ended without any mistakes or scandals, I was lounging in the shared waiting room when I heard my name being called, prompting me to get up.

 

The *Some Ending* stage wasn’t much of a burden since, like the previous music shows, I only had to do a featured part in the first verse before stepping off stage.

 

After finishing the short feature, I stood backstage watching Seoraon’s performance and suddenly realized something.

 

‘I used to want solo activities and solo stages so badly…’

 

Maybe it was because I saw the group as just a stepping stone for my solo career.

 

Or perhaps it was because I’d risen to fame by sheer luck and one person’s influence, so instead of feeling connected to my group members who had gone through the hard times with me, I was left with a sense of emptiness and helplessness.

 

Before my return to the past, I hadn’t attached much significance to the group. Except for my friend, Gyeon Ha-jun, they were just colleagues I worked with—nothing more, nothing less. Ryu Jae-hee had only been included because he kept trying to get closer to me, so I let him in a little.

 

That’s why I had clung so obsessively to the thing that could prove my worth—the reason I had stepped into the entertainment industry in the first place. Of course, things didn’t work out exactly as I had planned, but that’s life.

 

Now, though, solo activities and standing alone on stage didn’t seem so desperately important. Instead, I wanted to see how far I could take these guys.

 

Not just to break the cycle of endless returns, but because I genuinely wanted to see how far we could go with my music. I wanted to see with my own eyes how much of the potential we had overlooked before could now be realized.

 

By doing so, I wanted to prove to myself that this return to the past hadn’t been meaningless.

 

So…

 

“I’m counting on all of you next year, too.”

 

When I returned to the waiting room after congratulating Seoraon on her successful performance, I smiled as I spoke to the members who were throwing out compliments about how cool my 25-second stage had been. Ryu Jae-hee let out a small exclamation.

 

“Wow, it’s definitely that time of year. Hyung is even getting all sentimental with these end-of-year messages.”

 

“Can’t a leader say something like that?”

 

After seeing off Ryu Jae-hee and Kim Dobin, who had to leave by 10 PM due to their underage curfew, only Gyeon Ha-jun, Seo Ye-hyun, and I remained.

 

Without the noisy youngest members who made up about 80% of Reve’s chatter, it was quiet. Reve was always peaceful when Seo Ye-hyun wasn’t trying to pick a fight with me.

 

Propping my chin on my hand, I absentmindedly watched the performance of Altair, who had managed to secure a prime spot in the latter half of this year-end awards show, and clicked my tongue.

 

I wondered if they had ever thought that their hit song would one day hold them back. This is why people should live honestly and fairly.

 

Look at me. No matter how hard someone tries to drag me down, they won’t find a speck of dirt to pull me into the mud with them.

 

I couldn’t be sure if things would unfold the same way this time around, but judging by the fact that they were performing that song again, their future likely wouldn’t be much different from the one I knew.

 

Leaning back comfortably on the sofa, I envied the youngest members who had already gone home. Apparently, they didn’t share the sentiment, as they were whining in the group chat about how they were disappointed to miss the ending group stage.

 

After several more groups performed following Altair, it was finally time for the endless waiting to come to an end.

 

All the performers took the stage for the ending group stage. Since Reve had debuted this year, we were placed far from the center.

 

Suddenly, I was reminded of the past, when we were closer to the center thanks to our seniority.

 

A hit song from the ’90s that everyone could sing along to echoed across the stage. I couldn’t help but laugh as I watched an idol group next to us, singing passionately into their handheld mics as if they were at a karaoke session, even though the cameras weren’t likely to capture them.

 

Then I glanced to my right at the six people standing there.

 

‘But why are these guys standing here of all places?’

 

I happened to make eye contact with Cha Yeon-ho. As soon as the camera moved away from us, I turned my head back toward him and bluntly asked,

 

“Do you have something to say?”

 

Cha Yeon-ho seemed slightly taken aback, his expression indicating that he hadn’t expected me to be the first to speak. But it only lasted a moment before he quickly composed himself and gave me a short nod with a faint smile.

 

“No, I just found it a bit unexpected to see you here.”

 

“It’s the ending where all the performers give their thanks, so of course, I’d be here.”

 

I replied with a questioning look on my face, to which Cha Yeon-ho responded with a subtle expression.

 

What’s with him? Staring at me like that, making me want to punch him.

 

We weren’t on good terms before my return, and my last memories of him weren’t great either, so whatever he did, I couldn’t help but find him annoying.

 

Still, there was no need to clash with him right now. Altair’s status wasn’t yet strong enough for me to set off the fuse that would send them plummeting. I’d leave them alone for now, but if they became an obstacle to us reaching the top, I had the secrets to bring them down when the time came.

 

Cha Yeon-ho and I held each other’s gazes for a moment longer before we turned away at the call of our respective members.

 

“Yeon-ho, are you having a staring contest with a junior?”

 

“No way. It’s nothing like that.”

 

Listening half-heartedly to Cha Yeon-ho’s dismissive response, Gyeon Ha-jun nudged me and whispered in my ear.

 

“Something happen with him recently? You’ve been like this since last time.”

 

“Nope.”

 

There’s no way he’d know about events erased from time. Even if he did, there’s no reason for me to act on it unless he throws the first punch.

 

***

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