A Blank Slate Regression For The Idol That Lost His Original Intention

That would be quite a useful reward.

 

I hesitated as I was about to open the cap of the water bottle.

 

Normally, I would have chugged it right away, but there was someone else who was also sick.

 

Standing at a crossroads, I looked down at the bottle, lost in thought.

 

Should I drink it to remove the damned time bomb the system planted in me and prevent an untimely demise before the average human lifespan?

 

Or should I give it to the guy who caught the flu just before our comeback and might not recover in time?

 

In the short term, the latter might seem better, but in the long run, I should think about my own health…

 

[Bloody coughing penalty doesn’t strain the body!]

 

Just tell me to give it to Gyeon Hajun.

 

I clicked my tongue and carelessly tossed the water bottle onto the car seat.

 

When we arrived at the hospital where Gyeon Hajun was admitted, I stopped Kim Dobin from getting out of the car.

 

“You should go back to the dorm. We don’t need you catching it too.”

 

Before I could open the door, Kim Dobin grabbed my arm.

 

“I mean, there’s only one bottle of potion, right? It’ll be a hassle if you catch the flu too, so please don’t be stubborn and just go back to the dorm, Dobin. ”

 

I frowned, and Kim Dobin immediately let go, handing me a box of drinks politely.

 

“No, it’s just… I thought you should take the drink set with you…”

 

“Just take it to the dorm.”

 

After all, Gyeon Hajun would be discharged today, so one panacea potion or whatever was enough as a get-well gift.

 

“They say it’s rude to visit without a gift.”

 

“Yeah, I’ll be the rude one.”

 

I replied indifferently, grabbed the so-called panacea, and got out of the car.

 

It was too bothersome to explain everything, and the idea of a panacea seemed unrealistic, so I just decided to be the rude guy.

 

I walked briskly towards Gyeon Hajun, who was lying on a hospital bed in the ER, hooked up to an IV, and Seo Yehyun, who was sitting beside him.

 

“Ugh, what’s this? Do doppelgangers walk around nowadays?”

 

Seo Yehyun looked up at me, startled. I looked down at him with a scornful gaze and said.

 

“What are you talking about? Did you catch something from Kim Dobin?”

 

“I was told you were taken away in an ambulance and admitted just two hours ago. How can someone recover in two hours?”

 

“They said there was nothing wrong, so I got some fluids and was discharged. I’m not fully recovered yet, though.”

 

Lack of sleep could be resolved with a good night’s sleep, and nutritional imbalance with proper meals.

 

“Then why call an ambulance?”

 

“Well, I coughed up a lot of blood suddenly. Shouldn’t I call 119?”

 

“What kind of person are you to be walking around normally two hours after coughing up a lot of blood? Are you even human?”

 

I glanced at Gyeon Hajun, whose face was flushed with a high fever, and gestured towards Seo Yehyun, who was still babbling nonsense.

 

“The manager is waiting downstairs. I’ll take care of him, so you go back to the dorm.”

 

“But, wait… Is it okay for a patient to take care of another patient?”

 

Better me than someone who doesn’t even know to wring a towel.

 

But I kept that thought to myself and nodded.

 

Seo Yehyun left the ER, taking a call from the manager.

 

Gyeon Hajun, slightly opening his eyes, noticed me sitting on a chair beside the bed and slowly blinked.

 

“…I heard you were admitted.”

 

“I was. But I’m discharged now.”

 

“Why did you come? You should have left it to Yehyun hyung and gone back to the dorm to rest.”

 

Hearing his hoarse and cracked voice, I felt a twinge in my head. His forehead was hot to the touch.

 

Wow, it was a good thing I didn’t drink that panacea potion or whatever.

 

How would he handle live performances with a voice like that, just before our comeback?

 

“I couldn’t trust him to take care of you. What if it gets worse? Drink some water first; your throat’s completely gone.”

 

I naturally handed him the water bottle, not knowing if it was a panacea or just plain water.

 

Gyeon Hajun, thirsty, drank it all without hesitation.

 

I watched nervously as he gulped down the contents, and as soon as he finished, I asked eagerly,

 

“How do you feel? Any better?”

 

Gyeon Hajun looked at me blankly and shook his head slightly.

 

His expression seemed to ask, “How could you expect me to feel better just from drinking a bottle of water?”

 

His forehead was still hot to the touch.

 

Wow, did the system scam me? What? Panacea? Pana-ceeea? More like a scam. Is the system moonlighting as a snake oil salesman now? Is that why it’s so busy ignoring my inquiries?

 

It’s my fault for falling for the scam. Oh, my precious random ticket!

 

‘Ah, this is bad. What about our comeback?’

 

Ten minutes after despairing and pulling my hair out,

 

“Hmm…? I think I feel a bit better…”

 

His rapid breathing from the fever had calmed down a bit. Though his voice was still a bit rough, he was noticeably better than before.

 

I stopped cursing the system and awkwardly scratched the back of my head.

 

Well, if there was a cooldown period, they should’ve told me sooner.

 

* * *

 

It was already late into the night when Gyeon Hajun’s fever finally subsided, and he was discharged and returned to the dorm.

 

Although it was originally a room shared by me, Gyeon Hajun, and Seo Yehyun, we used the excuse of isolating the sick to prevent infection and sent Seo Yehyun to the room shared by Kim Dobin and Ryu Jaehee.

 

Thanks to that, we had the luxury of using the (relatively spacious) room comfortably today. Of course, without the sick ones around.

 

Gyeon Hajun was already asleep, but I couldn’t sleep, haunted by the thought of that panacea.

 

It was so valuable, I could die. If only I had drunk it, the bloody cough penalty would have been a non-issue. Why did I give it to Gyeon Hajun…? Well, it was necessary…

 

“Why would you care about someone who dumped you, sigh…”

 

I muttered, and unexpectedly, I got a response.

 

“Do you still resent me?”

 

“What the… Weren’t you asleep?”

 

I turned quickly and met his eyes with his sleepy, half-lidded gaze.

 

I told him to keep sleeping and tucked the blanket over his face.

 

“Do you even know what I’m talking about?”

 

“When I left Newborn… I ignored your messages.”

 

My hand froze, halfway through covering Gyeon Hajun’s head with the blanket.

 

I remembered what he had said before we completely severed ties, before he stopped speaking to me altogether.

 

[I’m done holding onto you out of a sense of obligation. I’ve done all I can. You don’t know, but…]

 

At the time, I didn’t understand what he meant, but as soon as Gyeon Hajun said that, everything fell into place. I couldn’t help but let out a bitter laugh.

 

I sat up and pulled the blanket off. Looking down at Gyeon Hajun with sharp eyes, I spoke each word deliberately.

 

“Stop acting like you’re the only one who matters. I’ve never once resented you for something like that. Don’t just decide on your own to make me out to be some narrow-minded jerk.”

 

[Profanity detected.]

 

[Initial Intention -2]

 

I wish this system would turn off when I’m having serious conversations. It ruins the moment, making me wince in pain.

 

“Don’t hold onto someone out of guilt for something like that. That’s just deception.”

 

My mood quickly soured. How could it not?

 

Finding out that someone I considered a friend had been holding onto me only out of guilt for something I hadn’t even noticed…

 

And this guy was known for being good at acting.

 

“So, was everything you did for me because of that half-hearted sense of guilt you had?”

 

Gyeon Hajun let out a small laugh at my thorny words.

 

“No one looks after someone else just out of guilt, Eden. I did feel guilty, but I don’t want you to misunderstand our friendship.”

 

Even after hearing that, I couldn’t understand Gyeon Hajun.

 

“Why over something so trivial? What do you have to apologize to me for because of what Newborn did?”

 

As I flopped back down and stared at the ceiling, Gyeon Hajun answered in a calm tone.

 

“I just… always felt sorry. It felt like you gave up a great opportunity to debut with Newborn because of me… If only I hadn’t ignored your messages back then and told you it was okay…”

 

His voice, which had been steady, started to crack a little.

 

“Admitting I was sorry to you would mean admitting that I had ruined your future, too. I was too scared to say that…”

 

I thought about the past before I had time-traveled back when I was on the path of a failing idol.

 

Despite his own struggles, Gyeon Hajun never showed it, and as I became increasingly irritable and withdrawn, he took care of me like a mother.

 

He desperately tried to mediate between the already broken relationship between Seo Yehyun and me.

 

As we fell apart, the guilt Gyeon Hajun felt would have weighed him down more and more, to the point where guilt and friendship became indistinguishable.

 

In our relationship before I went back in time, neither of us was purely a victim. We were both victims and perpetrators to each other.

 

So maybe now, before we’ve laid down any burdens on each other, is the perfect time to change our already predetermined future.

 

I rubbed my face and deliberately grumbled lightly.

 

“Even after seeing KICKS’ current state, do you still want to say that? Don’t kid yourself. I didn’t leave because of you. I left because it was obvious there was no hope once they started planting people in the debut lineup.”

 

“You said before that there was no one else who could sing your guide vocals to your satisfaction like I could.”

 

“That’s about 30% of the reason.”

 

The tension in the air completely dissipated with that joke.

 

So did the misunderstandings and lingering emotions that had been between us.

 

It felt like we had finally undone the wrongly fastened first button and fixed it.

 

“Then what was that ‘the guy who dumped me’ line about?”

 

“Oh, it was nothing. I just had a dream about you cutting me off about seven years from now.”

 

Gyeon Hajun, looking at me with a slightly exasperated expression, pulled the blanket over his head and mumbled.

 

“Must have been a nightmare. Probably from the stress of the comeback.”

 

“Maybe… But it wasn’t entirely a nightmare. In some ways… And thanks to that, we cleared up some misunderstandings. So it’s all good.”

 

“Yeah, I guess so…”

 

Listening to his drowsy reply, I also slowly closed my eyes.

 

Just before my eyelids fully closed, I caught a glimpse of the faint blue light of dawn peeking through the partially closed blackout curtains.

 

 

***

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