A Blank Slate Regression For The Idol That Lost His Original Intention

“A rookie boy group called KICKS from Newborn, a reputable mid-to-large entertainment agency.

 

They debuted six months before us.

 

Even before their debut, they were heavily promoted, and it was evident that a lot of money was spent on their music and music videos.

 

Newborn was the second agency I auditioned for after leaving the underground scene.

 

For reference, the first was a major agency.

 

I was rejected for being awkward in dancing. As expected, major agencies prefer complete packages over potential growth.

 

And the ones who debuted with Newborn’s full support were the guys standing in front of me now, KICKS.

 

“Long time no see.”

 

I raised my hand to greet them, and the guy who recognized me brightened up. I glanced at Gyeon Hajun’s face.

 

As an idol known for his acting, Gyeon Hajun could perform well enough to rival professional actors, making it difficult for even me, who had spent the most time with him, to read his emotions. But right now…

 

‘Should I just tell them to get lost…?’

 

His face clearly showed his discomfort.

 

And why wouldn’t he be? These guys were part of the debut team at our previous agency, the one Hajun and I almost debuted with.

 

To be exact, it was ‘just me’ who almost debuted.

 

And the guy acting all friendly with me now was the one who first cut ties with Gyeon Hajun.

 

Seeing him also greet Hajun as if nothing had happened, it seemed like he hadn’t learned his lesson before or after my return.

 

Looking over the two guys who were obviously uncomfortable avoiding my gaze and the three others who seemed clueless, I asked,

 

“Did you guys have a comeback?”

 

“The teaser and the music release have been out for a while! You haven’t been keeping up? I’m disappointed, hyung!”

 

Keeping up? I smirked at that word.

 

Since returning, I had been too preoccupied with climbing out of the pit to remember their existence, and back then, even though I had left them behind, I was too bitter to check on them. Still, I couldn’t avoid what was right in front of me.

 

Knowing what they were like behind the scenes before my return, I considered giving them a snide remark to send them on their way. But seeing Gyeon Hajun’s face, I thought it was too good an opportunity to pass up.

 

“Your debut album did better than I expected.”

 

“We did struggle a bit, reworking the group from a seven-member to a six-member one. Oh, but I’m not blaming you, hyung. I get it. You and Hajun hyung were really close. It made sense for you to leave.”

 

See? People don’t change.

 

His words, laced with thorns, and the smirks on the other guys’ faces as they pretended to laugh made me twist my lips in irritation.

 

There was a time when I proudly thought the future was bright, having made it into the debut team with these guys after enduring the hardships of being a trainee together.

 

But that dream of a comfortable future cracked when a new trainee joined the debut team.

 

The new trainee was the nephew of an agency executive. In short, a nepotism hire.

 

Had he been a prodigy in any field, I might have understood it to some extent. But the guy was mediocre in singing, dancing, and even his variety show appeal was lacking. He was just like Seo Yehyun, except without the looks.

 

The problem was that the group was originally planned as a seven-member group, and to include the nepotism hire, someone from the debut team had to be cut.

 

And that someone was Gyeon Hajun.

 

It was an incomprehensible decision to me.

 

They claimed it was because he had the shortest training period, but in that case, it should have been me since I joined a month after Hajun.

 

[Wow, does this really not bother you guys?]

 

[What can we do, hyung? I want to debut. It’s just a matter of closing your eyes once. Is that so hard?]

 

Though only one of them said it out loud, the others had similar looks in their eyes. Those eyes, filled with relief, saying, ‘As long as it’s not me.’ I can still vividly remember those eyes.

 

Gyeon Hajun was pushed out of the debut team because of the nepotism hire and left Newborn.

 

[Well, fuck. You guys do your best. I just can’t stand working with that guy.]

 

Seeing the newcomer act as if he belonged, I too felt disillusioned and left Newborn, abandoning my spot in the debut team.

 

I could foresee that an agency that pushed out a capable guy for a nepotism hire wouldn’t have a promising future.

 

When Gyeon Hajun, who had been ignoring my calls after being kicked out of the debut team, heard that I had left the agency, he finally answered.

 

[Why didn’t you debut there?]

 

[Because no one sings my song guides like you do. Your voice is perfect for it.]

 

Of course, there was no paradise to escape to. I ended up meeting a truly hopeless situation trying to escape a bad one…

 

But joining LnL after giving up on Newborn’s debut was entirely my choice, so I don’t blame Gyeon Hajun for also ending up at LnL among all the agencies out there.

 

I just find it a bit annoying that despite this past, Hajun was sulky and wouldn’t talk to me before my return.

 

Anyway, this was the past involving Gyeon Hajun, KICKS, and me during our trainee days.

 

Glancing briefly at the nepotism hire, I smirked and sneered.

 

“Oh, the guy who claimed to understand me actually laughed his ass off seeing me debut with crappy songs and fail, didn’t he?”

 

[Profanity detected.]

 

[Initial Intention -2]

 

The guy flinched at my words.

 

I too flinched, thanks to the damned system’s punishment, but luckily he turned his head toward his members at that moment, so I managed to maintain my composure.

 

“Surprised to hear the very things you’ve been saying behind my back? I was also shocked to learn that you were thinking like this.”

 

I grinned at them as they exchanged suspicious glances. They seemed to be trying to figure out who had snitched. Too bad for them, they’ll never find out.

 

How could they? Time had turned back. Though, even if it hadn’t, they probably wouldn’t have figured it out. It was too unexpected.

 

Before my return, I didn’t distance myself from KICKS, who acted friendly and cheerful.

 

They were moderately successful second-tier idols, while we were on the brink of disbanding as failing idols, but they were once my fellow trainees.

 

After Seo Yehyun’s fancam went viral and we rose to the second tier, I noticed a strange distance growing between us.

 

The one who tipped me off about what KICKS had been saying behind my back was the nepotism hire, who I had only encountered once when he joined the debut team.

 

[What’s your problem? Tired of idol life? You want me to expose your group’s trash talk?]

 

[I’m just disgusted by those guys doing it again. I know how awful it feels because I’ve been there. Acting friendly in front of you but trash-talking behind your back.]

 

It must have been hilarious for them to see the guy who ran off debuting with crappy songs and failing. They must have laughed behind my back while I naively took their friendliness at face value.

 

It must have been infuriating to see the ones who were supposed to stay beneath them rise to their level.

 

The guy who was trying to maintain a fake smile asked me,

 

“Eden hyung, who told you that?”

 

“What’s it to you?”

 

Before my return, all I could do after hearing that was throw a punch, but now it’s different. Now I can hit them where it really hurts.

 

I planted a seed of doubt among them.

 

Knowing they all had my contact information, they’d start suspecting each other of being the snitch.

 

You were all so close when you were trash-talking us, right? Let’s see you break up faster this time. I’m tired of seeing your faces.

 

“Sorry to disappoint you, but our follow-up song isn’t doing as badly as you’d hoped. Sorry that the runaway is doing better than you expected.”

 

As the guy who had been trying to act friendly’s face turned dark, another member behind him tried to defuse the situation.

 

“Hey, don’t be like that. We were just excited to see you after so long.”

 

“Are you really happy to see me? Because it sounds like you were badmouthing us about how we joined a crappy agency and had to put up with a terrible concept.”

 

I repeated the most impressive piece of gossip I’d heard from the nepotism hire, word for word.

 

The guys who were KO’d by my final uppercut left the room, still casting suspicious glances at each other.

 

The tension surrounding KICKS was so thick that it was a wonder a fight didn’t break out in the waiting room. The only one unbothered was the nepotism hire who hadn’t participated in the gossip.

 

It’s funny how people can be reevaluated. When he had pushed Gyeon Hajun out, he seemed like a shameless, insufferable loser.

 

“Was that the group you almost debuted with?”

 

As soon as KICKS was out of sight, Seo Yehyun asked, nodding toward where they had been.

 

“If you had been with them, it would’ve been the legendary group of jerks.”

 

“I’m done with all this talking. Please cooperate, hyung.”

 

Seo Yehyun’s provocations made me rub my forehead and wave my hand dismissively.

 

Of course, he insisted he was just being honest and not starting anything.

 

Normally, Gyeon Hajun would’ve intervened, but today he remained silent. I nudged him, laughing.

 

“You’re not telling me to let it go today?”

 

“I think you did well today.”

 

Gyeon Hajun patted my shoulder and thanked me.

 

“Thanks for putting those guys in their place.”

 

“Gratitude like this should be shown, not spoken.”

 

“What do you want me to do?”

 

“If you’re grateful, be my guide vocalist for life.”

 

I declared a lifetime of vocal exploitation with a grin.

 

“I really think your voice is the best.”

 

Recalling our past conversations, Gyeon Hajun chuckled and nodded.

 

“What about me? How do you like my voice, hyung?”

 

“Let’s save that for later, maknae.”

 

I put my hand on Ryu Jaehee’s head, messing up his hair, and heard the stylist’s warning from behind not to ruin it.

 

I quickly removed my hand and leaned back in my chair, muttering.

 

“I’ll drag REVE up to the first tier, if only to avoid seeing those guys again.”

 

“Feeling confident, huh?”

 

“If we work hard enough, there’s nothing we can’t do.”

 

We’ll run our schedules diligently, pull some all-nighters, attend some gatherings with senior producers, and live life on the edge. You can sleep when you’re dead.

 

Kim Do-bin flinched at my words. Seeing Ryu Jaehee meet his eyes, I realized I hadn’t specified a subject.

 

Still, they couldn’t help but feel uneasy. I said I’d push myself hard, not them.

 

When the leader is determined to give his all, the maknaes should at least support him, not complain. Tsk.

 

***

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