“Viscount Dante?”
“Baroness Hycon, fancy seeing you here again!”
The front courtyard of the Empress’s palace was bustling as usual. The two nobles, standing in separate lines, chatted casually.
“What were you arrested for today?”
“Too many wrinkles in my shirt.”
“Oh dear.”
“And you?”
“I left some tea food behind.”
“Oh dear.”
Anyone overhearing might’ve stared at them in confusion.
Wait, you got dragged to the Empress’s palace for that? Isn’t this abuse of power? That kind of protest would have come naturally.
But the two of them carried on, chatting as if it were nothing. And really, all the others who had been summoned for similarly ridiculous reasons were the same.
The nobles, looking entirely at ease, took turns entering a curtained tent in orderly fashion.
“Good day, Viscount Dante. That shirt—it’s a cheap sefan blend, isn’t it? Not very durable for the price. That’s why it wrinkles so easily.”
“I figured. What should I do?”
“Her Majesty detests such unrefined attire.”
Viscount Dante and the other nobles wearing wrinkled shirts glanced around nervously. A strict steward wearing rimless glasses clapped solemnly.
Clap clap!
Tailors from the Imperial Wardrobe burst in, carrying scissors, measuring tapes, and fine fabrics.
“As of now, that hideous shirt is forbidden. By order of Her Majesty—take it off immediately!”
“Oh my!”
“No! My wife gave me this shirt—it’s the first one she’s ever dressed me in after ten years of marriage!”
Despite their protests, the nobles subtly began removing their shirts as the tailors swarmed them.
Soon, shirtless and being remeasured for new clothes, all the nobles tried to hide their grins.
Whoa, this is darin fabric! They said it’s only produced in tiny quantities, usually reserved for royalty!
My wife’s a genius! Wearing that cheap wrinkled sefan shirt really paid off!
And so, the nobles arrested for their pitiful shirts walked away in high-end new ones.
“Baroness Hycon, what food did you leave behind?”
“Well, the last dessert… a cranberry cookie.”
“That’s Her Majesty’s favorite. And you just left it because you were full?”
“B-but I was really full, I swear!”
“How dare you ignore Her Majesty’s preferences? She has ordered that this awful habit be fixed immediately!”
At the stewardess’s fierce ringing of the bell, attendants rushed in from the kitchens with fresh desserts.
“You must not leave a single crumb. Her Majesty’s fury will only settle if you eat it all. Anything left must be taken home!”
Baroness Hycon was dragged off to a corner of the garden, clutching the dessert basket tightly.
Wait… isn’t this that royal diet snack? The one that’s super filling but doesn’t make you gain weight? The one you can’t even buy with money?!
Buzz buzz.
The one arrested for having an “ugly shadow” was released after receiving the trendiest new hairstyle.
“Even the silhouette of your hair now gives off elegance! Your old look was trash!”
Someone arrested for too many book club meetings was handed VIP theater tickets to a famous show and released.
“My posture was turning into a turtle’s from all that reading… Who knew the outside world was so fun?”
A person caught for blocking sunlight was released with a luxury parasol and a massive deluxe umbrella.
“Sniff… I used to suffer in silence for others’ sake. Now I’m free!”
Those taken in for mismatched outfits and accessories were released with elegant dresses and dazzling jewelry.
“To think such perfect coordination existed! This is a dream come true!”
Even those accused of being the emperor’s mistress returned feeling completely satisfied.
At first, the nobles dragged to the Empress’s palace for ridiculous reasons were angry and frustrated—but after enduring their so-called “punishments”…
This isn’t punishment. It’s a reward.
Nobles released from the palace gulped hard.
The capricious and scandalous Empress supposedly punished anything she disliked—but in reality, they walked away with serious benefits.
The same people who first screamed about injustice quietly zipped their lips.
“Ahem, well… the Empress has always been a little eccentric, right?”
“Exactly. With rumors of the emperor’s affair, it’s no wonder she’s gone hysterical.”
Despite saying they hated it, the nobles obediently lined up in the courtyard of the Empress’s palace.
Some even started coming in on purpose, dressing in exactly what Leah hated from head to toe, hoping for “leftovers” from the palace.
“But doesn’t it bother you to be suspected as the emperor’s mistress—or from her family?”
Some asked that. But veterans of the palace procession just clicked their tongues and replied like they knew better.
“Come on. Everyone knows the Empress is unpredictable. What’s the point of getting mad seriously? We’re just being generous—for Bermut’s peace.”
They weren’t high nobles, after all. As minor aristocrats, getting caught up in these scandals didn’t really harm their reputations.
Besides, Empress Leah didn’t seem to care about finding Snuggy anymore. She seemed to enjoy manipulating everyone more than hunting down a mistress—and she never truly insulted anyone.
“Oh, and did you hear? The Empress made a huge investment in Applelum’s tea brand—the one that won the Royal Dessert Competition!”
“What?! The one dominating the dessert world right now? And she’s personally backing it? Imagine how massive it’ll get…”
“She still can’t shake her love for luxury. I heard she poured a fortune into the Empress’s palace. Apparently, there’s a massive royal project coming soon.”
A handsome young apothecary passing by whispered the inside scoop, pitying those still “suffering” under the Empress.
“I warned you. You need to invest before things blow up.”
True investing was only for those in the know.
And this precious information didn’t leak out. It was quietly shared only among those who had been arrested.
Nobles—who lived to grow their wealth—started flocking to the Empress, eager to get on her good side.
To the outside world, it looked like they were being unfairly accused and harassed by the Empress in her quest to catch Snuggy.
“Well then, I should go. Time to get in line at the palace.”
“Wait—me too!”
At first, the front courtyard of the palace echoed with protests. But as time passed, it turned into a lively, bustling scene.
“What, arrested again, Viscount? This is the fifth time I’ve seen you!”
“Ha ha! I guess I’ve always been a bit of a rebel.”
They grumbled on the surface, but deep down, they were all giddy with anticipation as they returned to the palace.
“Why is everyone so quiet? Are you not making excuses because you think I’m a joke?! Loren, feed everyone until their stomachs burst!”
“Your Majesty, I’m really not Snuggy! Ah, I’ll have the tuna sandwich, please.”
“Same for me! The mushroom one. That’s the best item on the Empress’s menu.”
And so, the palace courtyard became filled with people shamelessly pretending not to understand what was going on.
“Why does the courtyard look so empty today? I need to bring in more. Until I’m back, everyone better shout your excuses loudly!”
Of course, the most shameless person of all was the Empress herself.
Not that anyone knew.
****
‘Ugh, my ears are ringing.’
Over two weeks of chaos in front of the Empress’s palace—my ears were practically going numb. I mean, I’ve always been someone who preferred peace and quiet.
But in exchange for my ear health, the plan was peaking beautifully.
The rumor Lindo helped spread was soaring. Of course, he’s a total pro—he really is a genius at manipulating people.
‘And the budget Xion increased for the Empress’s palace? I used it well.’
Of course, I had to report the spending like Xion said.
But since he was still halfway hallucinating, when I told him out of nowhere that I was buying luxury goods in bulk and investing in a dessert company, he just nodded vaguely.
Didn’t even ask why reports were coming to him, or how his pet bird had access to money in the first place.
‘Life is all about timing.’
And this—this was what you call perfect timing.
Today, I finally recalled the contents of the secret letter Eloise had sent me.
Your Majesty, I’m so heartbroken. I never imagined your reputation would fall like this again…
She offered to help me “rebuild” my image and invited me to attend a social gathering with her—specifically, the one hosted by the elite pure-blood nobles of Bermut that she recently joined.
‘Of course I’m going. She’s probably planning to destroy me once and for all in front of everyone.’
Naturally, I had zero intention of walking into that clever little trap like a lamb.
‘But wow… you’d never guess what she’s like just from her looks or that letter. She’s practically an angel on paper.’
This from the girl who told me to go full tyrant, rounding people up like rats in a barn—and now she claims she “didn’t expect it to turn out like this”? Seriously?
Anyway, it was obvious Eloise fully believed I’d lost my mind and become a rampaging mess again.
Which, honestly, worked perfectly for me. Thanks, Eloise!
‘She’ll probably whisper someone’s name to me at the event, claiming that woman is Snuggy.’
Then, like a tantrum-throwing Empress unable to find the emperor’s mistress, I’d freak out and go after her. But, of course, the woman won’t actually be Snuggy.
And I’d be left in a massive scandal—accusing a high-ranking noble of being the emperor’s lover without evidence. A total disaster.
‘Let’s see… The gathering starts thirty minutes before Xion’s usual nap, so the timing’s perfect…’
But who is she planning to pin it on? That’s the one thing I still can’t figure out.
I was casually whistling and taking a short walk when I turned around and headed back.
Tomorrow was the highlight, so there was no need to drag in more nobles to fuel the rumor mill.
The ones already crowding the palace courtyard could carry us to the final act just fine!
“But—”
“Please.”
On my way back, just as I turned past a pillar, I overheard a conversation.
I glanced over without much thought—and spotted two familiar women.
“Can’t you reconsider? Just once more?”
It was Eloise and Aidin Chenowith. Maybe they’d bumped into each other while borrowing books—they each had a few in their arms.
Eloise looked desperate. Aidin sat uncomfortably in a wheeled chair, clearly flustered.
