Surviving in the Idol Game (3)
Looking for a place to be alone and sort out my thoughts, I kept feeling people’s eyes on me. The stares were oddly persistent—no, obsessive—and even after circling around some buildings a few times, I couldn’t shake them off. Tired and frustrated, I snapped internally, begging to be left alone.
Eventually, I ended up circling the area near a department store three times before slipping in through the back entrance. I quickly found the emergency stairs and practically sprinted up them.
Thankfully, it was a weekday afternoon, and the restroom on the third floor near the children’s section was completely empty. I quietly stepped inside and shut myself in one of the stalls. I could hear murmuring outside, but no one came in.
“Phew…”
Here’s what I could piece together so far:
First, I had died, but for some reason, I was brought back. It was likely one of three scenarios: reincarnation, possession, or regression.
Second, I was now younger—or at least, my body had changed. My body felt different, and the slenderness of my fingers, like when I was a child, felt strange. My skin also seemed paler.
Third, this situation was definitely connected to the mobile game I used to play. I recalled the bizarre gacha screen I’d seen just before I died—a screen overflowing with cats, a glitch I had never seen before, and then, suddenly, the car accident. The timing was suspicious. My last memory before everything went black was of my phone shimmering in many colors.
There was no doubt my original body had died in the car accident. It had been an almost-instant death. Even if I had been rushed to the hospital, survival would have been impossible—especially since it was a hit-and-run.
‘I definitely died that day, with that weather.’
As the memory of the crash resurfaced, so did the stress. I put the toilet lid down and sat on it, trying to cool down my overheated head. I needed a moment to just stop thinking and accept the situation. I didn’t know how long I spaced out like that.
‘Still, I need to confirm some things.’
I couldn’t just stay like this. In the quiet bathroom, with no one around, I cautiously opened the stall door and stepped toward the mirror. A face—both familiar and unfamiliar—stared back at me.
Whether I had liked my original appearance or benefited from it was beside the point. Objectively, my previous face wasn’t bad.
After losing some baby fat from entrance exam stress, my face had grown softer, and I’d received a lot of confessions in college. Even during military service, my seniors used to tease me about being too pretty for a guy.
But I definitely didn’t look like this. The face in the mirror was based on my old one, but everything—eyes, nose, mouth—was more finely sculpted. The symmetry was so perfect it felt unnatural, yet the features still had a youthful look to them, making the face seem unfamiliar.
‘I need more information.’
I started by checking my pockets. After rummaging around, I pulled out a thin wallet from inside my coat.
‘No smartphone?’
I searched thoroughly, but no matter how hard I looked, there was no phone.
‘Well, at least this is familiar.’
It had been ages since I lived without a phone, but I remembered not having one until high school.
Giving up on finding a phone, I opened the wallet, which felt oddly familiar. There was nothing special inside. The student ID I used to carry around this time of year was missing, but there was a resident registration card.
―Lee Hanhee XX1210-3XXXXXX
The name and birthdate were the same. That was the end of what I could investigate. Even with everything I’d learned, I still couldn’t reach a clear conclusion.
Some things were the same. Others weren’t. I wasn’t even sure I could say I was still the same person.
‘Where should I go?’
The sun would set soon, and all I had was a worn-out wallet, a strange check card, and 5,000 won in cash. Should I go to the house where I lived in high school?
Without a smartphone, there was a limit to what I could find out. I wanted to hide my noticeable face, maybe buy a hat, but I didn’t even know how much money I had.
‘Sleeping on the streets isn’t an option, right?’
Suddenly, I felt a chill and shrank into myself. My thin coat didn’t match the cold weather. Sleeping outside like this would mean freezing to death. Somehow, I’d been walking around like this all along.
I was just now realizing, despite being holed up in a cold, unheated bathroom, that I hadn’t even noticed the cold. I must have been completely out of it.
Feeling my body tremble from the biting cold, I let out a dry laugh.
And then I thought—my situation hadn’t changed, even after death.
“There’s just no hope.”
With dry eyes from the stress, I pressed hard on them with trembling fingers. A tightness clutched my chest, and I let out those words without meaning to. They echoed in the quiet restroom. I was startled by how loud my voice sounded—and then a stranger’s voice cut in.
“What isn’t?”
“…!”
Startled by the voice so close by, I jumped and turned to see a person holding a young child, and beside them, a smaller child—maybe six years old.
The little one, catching my gaze, grinned widely. He seemed happy.
“Mister, I need to pee.”
“Okay. You can do it yourself, right?”
“Of course!”
The kid hopped down confidently and went straight into a stall. These days, many parents train kids to use the toilet properly. It wasn’t exactly the same situation, but it reminded me of hiding in bathroom stalls during school days while watching my older brother, and my mood sank.
What if even in death, I couldn’t escape those entanglements?
“Are you in trouble? Need some help?”
The person suddenly spoke again, smiling with a handsome face.
No phone, no money, nowhere to go. Not even a hat to hide my face, let alone a proper coat to block the wind. I was in need of help. But receiving a helping hand so conveniently felt unfamiliar.
“No, I’m fine.”
I wasn’t naive enough to grab an offered hand when I didn’t know the intention behind it.
“Alright then.”
With a casual shrug, he nodded. But he spoke again.
“Still, if you go out like that, it might be a problem.”
“Pardon?”
“There were students outside. I think they were following you.”
“….”
“No need to be so wary. I just butted in because I’ve been in a similar situation.”
“Mister, I’m done!”
“Good job, Jaejin. Well done. Now let’s wash your hands.”
Why was he going out of his way to care? Even if he’d had a similar experience, did that really justify helping a stranger? Still, since he said it so simply, I chose to believe him.
Thinking about it, with a kid around, it didn’t seem like he’d try anything bad. And if he was offering to help me get out of here safely, it felt wrong to be openly hostile.
‘Was I… hoping someone would ask again?’
Even though I told myself I didn’t trust him, the indecisiveness in my heart made me feel embarrassed. But whatever. I was just really tired.
“If you’re offering help… how…?”
“Hmm, just a sec.”
While I stared blankly as the man helped the kid wash his hands, saying the soap was out of reach, he rummaged through a shopping bag and suddenly pulled out a long padded coat.
And before I knew it, the warm, oversized coat was wrapped around me.
“…?”
I tried to take it off, but I had soap on my hands. Trying not to get the coat dirty left me in an awkward position.
“Good thing I got one with a hood. Just wear it out.”
“Thank you, really… but this feels like too much.”
A long padded coat, all of a sudden? This is supposed to be helpful? Anyone can see it’s over the top.
“What’s the hidden agenda?”
No one just gives things away out of pure generosity. That’s a truth learned from being pushed around in life. You can’t even trust someone you’ve known for a long time—let alone a complete stranger handing you an expensive coat out of nowhere. That kind of person deserves suspicion.
“You look young, so don’t feel too burdened. I’m just helping because I want to help. And this is just my gut feeling, but I think we’ll see each other again. Let’s just call it the cost of leaving a good impression.”
Without giving a chance to stop him, the person who said the kid should just accept the help quietly left the restroom. Over his shoulder, a small face turned and offered a bright smile with just the shape of his mouth. Bye.
Left all alone like that, I rinsed off the remaining soap from my hands. Then I zipped the jacket up to my neck, pulled the hood all the way down, and left the restroom, passing by other users on the way out.
I caught a glimpse of some noisy students in school uniforms, clearly out of place in the children’s section, but I quickly left the department store.
If anything, it was a stroke of luck. The expensive-looking long padded coat completely blocked the biting winter wind that swept in the moment the sun set. Without it, I could clearly imagine how miserable I would’ve been in this cold.
I’d always told myself I needed to buy one—but now, I get to wear a long padded coat only after dying? How ironic.
“I didn’t even ask his name…”
Other than his younger brother’s name, Jaejin, we didn’t even know each other’s names.
“He said the kid should just accept the help?”
Despite the mature vibe, judging by his appearance, he didn’t seem that old.
As a 24-year-old who’d even finished military service, being treated like a lost kid was a bit embarrassing, but considering the price of that coat, maybe being treated like a kid wasn’t so bad.
“he said we’ll meet again, didn’t he?”
That upright and elegant face looked like it belonged to a celebrity. It left an impression that was hard to forget.
It was overly generous. I wasn’t sure I’d even have the money to repay them if we met again—but somehow, I didn’t feel bad at all.
Thinking back, when life felt especially rough and dry, I often found myself watching videos or reading posts that collected heartwarming stories. I remember watching a social experiment where someone gave their coat to a child in need without hesitation.
“It was around this time of year, too…”
But the more I lived, the more I doubted whether truly kind people existed without conditions. Eventually, I stopped searching for those stories, feeling skeptical about whether such people were real at all.
“Even if they exist, I figured they wouldn’t be around me.”
Is it the body reacting? Now that I’m younger again, those old feelings were coming back, fresh and vivid.
“Hmph.”
Yeah, thinking about it again—it actually feels pretty good.
The cold wind stung my face, but my body was warm.
* * *
First, I headed into a PC bang (internet café).
I inserted 2,000 won and started checking the email accounts I used back then. Since smartphones weren’t a thing at the time, important communications were mostly done through email using school computers. I figured I might have backed up some key documents or records.
Thankfully, I managed to log into a few accounts and spent nearly an hour reviewing emails and drive files. Then I checked my bank balance.
After sorting everything out, I realized things were a lot better than I’d expected. Surprisingly so.
It was a studio apartment, but it was a lease under my name. I had completed elementary, middle, and high school education. Interestingly, I hadn’t actually attended school recently, but according to the records, I’d passed qualification exams for all levels.
“I don’t know how I passed the criteria to be a monitored subject… but I guess it doesn’t matter.”
In the end, I was a 19-year-old high school graduate who had been living alone under the label of “independence” for about a week now. Since it was January, and most kids my age would be in their second year of high school, I’d already graduated ahead of them.
Compared to being 24 and living in a tiny room, just about to return to college—it really felt like a whole new life.
Judging by the records, I seemed to have lived mostly locked away at home. Sudden independence hinted at some kind of backstory, but I didn’t care.
What mattered was that I now had a place of my own to live. A proper lease. My bank account didn’t have much, but there were consistent savings and even a fairly large recent deposit.
“Ha…”
It couldn’t have been better.
The tension drained from my body. I had gotten out of that house. The joy was electrifying, running up to the top of my head. Was this what they meant when they said the universe helps those who desperately wish for something? I had a house, money, and most importantly—I was young and hadn’t failed at anything yet.
Tears threatened to spill, but I held them back. With my mind racing, I began to plan out my life.
I’d left that house. Naturally, that meant I wouldn’t be taking the college entrance exam (CSAT) while being trapped there. Since my main focus was the CSAT anyway, getting into college wouldn’t be an issue. I’d continue preparing for the exam. The frustration that used to boil up constantly—I remembered every single problem and answer I used to relieve it.
“I’ll never forget.”
Remembering all the questions felt almost like cheating, but I had already verified that even if I took the test back then as a fresh high school graduate, my score would’ve been enough to get into the university I’d aimed for. So, there was no guilt. I had studied for years after that, and that time wasn’t fake.
I was determined to completely rebuild a life that had once been ruined—and just as my heart swelled with that ambition, a bucket of cold water was suddenly poured over it.
[System syncing in progress]
[Sync complete]
[Tutorial starting for smooth game progression]
[Guide to understanding the system – Step 1]
Idol Debut Preparation: Reach Singing B0 – D-20
On Success: Proceed to Guide Step 2
On Failure: Life -1
***
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