TISND Chapter 163

Chapter 163

His breathing became rapid, enough to stretch his chest muscles. However, it wasn’t painful. Perhaps it was because of the hope that he might be able to save her. Since he held onto that hope, even the breath rising to the top of his head didn’t feel unbearably painful.

He had found a treatment. It could work. It was painful just to watch her lying in bed, unable to do anything. Even knowing that Helena had resigned herself to her death, he refused to give up. He wanted to save her. Even if belatedly, he desperately wished to keep her by his side.

Caligo rushed toward the research facility at full speed, so much so that even his guards following him couldn’t keep up. The building was small for what it was called a research facility, but it was a place he had temporarily secured in order to find a cure for Asehimmo. As he got closer to the building, the strong smell of medicine filled the air. Perhaps they had found the necessary medicine. Thinking this, he couldn’t hold back any longer and tightened the reins.

With hope and expectation, he entered the facility. But even though a treatment had been found, the expressions of the scholars and physicians were grim. Some seemed to be glaring at each other as if there was a conflict.

“What’s going on? I was clearly told that the treatment had been found.”

“Indeed, Your Grace. You’ve come at just the right time.”

A scholar responded. Then, the physician who had been in a bad mood from the start shouted.

“That cannot be called a treatment!”

“But there is no other way, is there?”

“It’s not a way—it’s a gamble!”

The physician was so furious that his face turned bright red.

“A treatment should first take into account the patient’s condition and find a method that suits it. But can what you’ve found truly be called a treatment?”

As other physicians and scholars began to add their opinions, the atmosphere grew tense.

“Tell me what this treatment is.”

“…As Your Grace suggested, we thought of using poisons, not as a cure, but to neutralize the poison in the patient.”

A scholar began to explain.

“We’ve researched every kind of poison in the world, from snake venom to poisonous mushrooms. Then, I happened to hear about a folk remedy where someone cured poison using a poisonous mushroom.”

The treatment the scholar mentioned was… a dangerous method that could hardly be called a cure. It involved using a poison that was the exact opposite of the Asehimmo symptoms, where the body’s muscles and blood vessels gradually stiffened, and then extracting it through surgery.

“Do you think the patient can endure such a thing? No, I don’t think so. If we attempt it recklessly, we’ll only shorten her remaining lifespan.”

“I repeat, there’s no other way. If Asehimmo spreads to the heart, it will be too late. Whatever we do then, we won’t be able to help. Her brain and heart will be dead! We need to try immediately before the poison spreads to her organs!”

The scholar insisted.

“If this treatment succeeds, it could help other patients as well. It would be a successful research breakthrough.”

“So, are you suggesting we experiment on this patient? As a physician, I cannot accept this.”

“If this research succeeds, it will save other patients. Didn’t you hear me?”

“If it fails, the patient will die! As an experiment, no less.”

The physicians and scholars, except for a few, were unaware that the patient suffering from Asehimmo was Helena Eskel. They only knew that a cure was being sought for some noble. The opinions of the physicians and scholars were constantly at odds.

The scholars had found the most efficient method for finding a “treatment,” but the physicians opposed it, not knowing whether it would be effective or not. They argued that the patient’s body wouldn’t be able to endure it. They said it would be painful. They said that until her final moments, she would experience immense pain. They said it would only shorten her life.

But Caligo couldn’t take sides. He deeply understood both opinions.

To administer poison with his own hands. After a lifetime of living in pain, to plunge her once more into the depths of suffering, and now to make her ingest poison… How cruel a fate this was. Moreover, they said he had to make her bleed from her already emaciated body. The thought of her suffering from the poison, of her bleeding, made his heart ache.

It was a gamble from the start. Even if it could be called a treatment, there was no guarantee it would work for her. The physicians argued that the poison could be extracted, but that her body wouldn’t be able to withstand it… They said it would be painful. They said she would suffer greatly. They said it would only shorten her life.

But he wanted to save her. He didn’t want her to die. Even if she hated him for the rest of her life, it would be fine. Even if she spat in his face, it wouldn’t matter. He just wanted to give her a slightly better world. He wanted her to step onto a ground that was warm and even, unlike the one she had lived on so far. He wanted her to enjoy the sunlight without worry, to feel the soft earth beneath her. He hoped she could smile brightly instead of a bitter one. That would be enough. Even if she didn’t love him, just knowing that would bring him peace… Yes, that would be enough. For a sinner like him, even this would be a luxury.

But… wasn’t he the one who would end her life with his own hands?

“I will await Your Grace’s decision. All the necessary equipment and medicine have already been procured.”

“This is a matter that requires great caution. It’s truly a dangerous task.”

Caligo couldn’t bring himself to speak. What if the treatment didn’t work…?

They had said Asehimmo would cause no pain until the end of her life. She would no longer feel any pain because her nerves would be numb. If he were to cause her pain in her final moments, wouldn’t he be the one to make her suffer?

But he wanted to save her. He didn’t want her to die. Just a little longer, even a little, he wanted to give her a radiant life.

His chest felt like it was being torn apart, and breathing became difficult. Caligo, whose lips trembled for a long time, finally postponed his decision. This was not a problem he could solve alone.

Eventually, as Caligo turned away, Pedro quietly approached him.

“Your Grace.”

“…Yes, Pedro.”

“I’m sorry for approaching you in such a delicate state of mind, but I feel I must tell you something.”

Pedro handed something over.

—

It was the way back to Horion. His heart, filled with hope and expectation as he went to the research facility, now felt like it was walking through a thorny path on the way back.

This wasn’t something he could decide alone. To proceed with the treatment, he would need Helena’s consent. But it wasn’t something he could easily say. He couldn’t bring himself to call it a treatment, a method that could potentially lead her to death.

When he arrived at Helena’s house, the children greeted him warmly. The children had fully adapted to life in Horion. They seemed to like it far more than life in the capital or Frantor. More precisely, they had accepted living with Helena as their new routine.

“Father! I’m too busy now, so we’ll hug later. I promised to teach the kids how to use a sword.”

Joshua didn’t seem to have any intention of returning to Seantillen. By this time, he would have already gone back to Seantillen, reciting the 101 ways to become a great adult. But now, it seemed he had chosen to live as an ordinary child, and he appeared to be happy with that.

“Helena is upstairs in the bedroom.”

At the child’s words, Caligo headed toward the bedroom. By that time, he still hadn’t made up his mind. Maybe he should at least try to bring it up.

When he reached the bedroom, she was looking out the window as usual. She was probably watching the children playing outside. It had become a new hobby for Helena, who could no longer move around without help, unlike before when she could cook for the children or play with them. She had resigned herself to it, saying there was nothing she could do, but to Caligo, it looked sad.

“Hello.”

She greeted him awkwardly, as there was still some awkwardness between them.

“Hello.”

Caligo responded briefly, as usual. Helena, still feeling that awkwardness, didn’t initiate conversation but instead observed Caligo’s face. Then she noticed his expression was grim, unlike usual. Normally, he would ask if she needed anything, and she would respond, though awkwardly, saying she was fine.

“Why do you look so serious? Did you go out to find an antidote or something?”

At her question, Caligo quietly met her gaze. Her face, which had been trying to smile, slowly stiffened, and her eyes widened a little.

“…Did you really find it?”

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