Chapter 05
It was suspicion. My father resented me. A kind of resentment, asking why I hadn’t paid more attention to Sienna.
“I’m sorry. I’ll be more attentive from now on.”
Sienna rolled her eyes slightly. She seemed to think over my words, then suddenly replied with a startled expression.
“Please don’t say that about Selena. She bought me clothes, shoes, hats—so many things. Oh, these nails… it happened while helping the servants in the garden this morning.”
“Why would you be doing such things?”
Father’s voice cracked. My chest sank when I saw his eyes reddening.
“I was just bored staying still…”
“If you were bored, you could’ve told Selena or us.”
“You and my brother are always busy, and Selena seemed so preoccupied with reading or managing the house. I’m sorry. I won’t do it again.”
“Don’t say sorry…”
His clenched teeth made the muscles in his jaw bulge tightly.
I felt like a child being scolded for doing something wrong.
“It’s my fault. I’m sorry. Sienna, I’m truly sorry. I’ll pay more attention to you.”
“Selena. Why are you saying that too? You’re already doing enough for me. Teaching me to read and write, helping me with formal titles… really, Selena. You don’t need to apologize.”
While apologizing to her, a thought crossed my mind.
As long as I stayed with Sienna, I would forever be the villain.
‘This isn’t even my fault… So why do I have to feel guilty?’
It wasn’t me who stole Sienna’s life… the injustice of it all made my chest feel like it was caving in.
I would always be apologizing to her, carrying guilt forever. Could I survive a life like that?
That night, my heart was heavy, and I couldn’t sleep at all.
Whenever I felt troubled, I would gaze at the scarf the Crown Prince had given me as a gift.
On it was an illustration of the Holy Grail from the founding myth of the Empire.
The “Holy Grail” was known to be a jar overflowing with sacred water, full of life—those who drank from it were said to be healed of any illness.
Though it no longer existed, the Empire’s only remaining treasure was the “Treasure of Estarion,” and the tale still lived on like a legend.
‘Maybe he gave me this scarf because Father is the guardian of that treasure.’
I gently touched the surface of the scarf with my fingertips. Even though I’d washed my hands, I worried about leaving marks on it.
Its smooth texture made me smile. I couldn’t even imagine the Crown Prince selecting something like this.
‘I like him even more because he doesn’t act like other men, who promise to pluck stars from the sky.’
The Crown Prince of the Empire and my fiancé, Philip de Martineson, was a graceful and beautiful man.
Beneath his mysterious smile, unnecessary words vanished, and his mature gaze was calm like a still lake.
I liked him. Even though I wasn’t worthy of desiring someone like him and should’ve buried these feelings… I still liked him very much.
“Selena?”
“Oh, Sienna.”
Sienna entered the room quietly and looked at the scarf in my hands.
“What’s that?”
“A scarf.”
“No, it seems far too cherished to be just a scarf.”
“Ah…”
I glanced at her face. Her expression was full of curiosity.
After the engagement is annulled, there’s a high chance that Sienna will become the next fiancée. Should I tell her this scarf is a gift from His Highness?
‘No… if she finds out later that I hid it, she might be more upset.’
With that judgment, I carefully told her the truth.
“It was a gift from His Highness, the Crown Prince.”
“From the Crown Prince?”
At the mention of the Crown Prince, Sienna’s face turned into something I’d never seen before. Her expression was one of utter shock.
“I’m engaged to His Highness.”
Sienna gasped. My mouth went dry. The engagement would likely be annulled soon. Even without discussing it with Father, I knew it was inevitable.
“The Crown Prince’s fiancée… my goodness.”
Gulp. I heard her swallow hard. Her trembling hands covered her mouth, and her red-tinged eyes remained fixed on the scarf.
“As expected from you, Selena. You’re amazing. To be engaged to the Crown Prince!”
If only I’d been chosen because of my own merits. But the engagement was based on bloodline and political reasons, which made me sigh.
I carefully repackaged the scarf and placed it back in the drawer. That scarf would be the last thing—my final tie to the Crown Prince I allowed myself to cherish.
As I closed the drawer and turned around, I found Sienna staring at me. There wasn’t a hint of a smile in her eyes.
“Sienna?”
Though her gaze was dry and serious, I saw a red flame flickering within it. A heavy desire—perhaps even envy—seemed to radiate from her.
She felt unfamiliar to me. She wasn’t the cheerful, giggling girl I knew. As my expression froze, she forced a smile.
Though the smile seemed strained, her next words were filled with sincerity.
“Selena. I envy you. And I resent you.”
Her trembling hands disappeared into the folds of her skirt. Though her confession was sudden, she had every right to feel that way.
My tongue was frozen. My lips felt heavy. No matter what I said, I knew it wouldn’t bring her comfort, so I couldn’t speak carelessly.
“…Do you truly not remember?”
Her piercing gaze felt like it could see through me. It was intense, and her delicate features gave off such a sensitive energy that it scared me.
“I’m sorry. Truly, I don’t remember. I don’t even know who I am. I grew up thinking I was Selena because that’s what I was told.”
My voice trembled. It felt like someone was stabbing me in the chest.
“If you had remembered you weren’t really Selena, Father wouldn’t have come looking for me. And I wouldn’t have had to grow up suffering outside.”
“…I’m sorry. Sienna, I’m truly sorry. But it wasn’t intentional. I never meant for any of this to happen.”
“If you had remembered, I could have been like you—beautiful and graceful. Knowledgeable… And I wouldn’t need a tutor at this age.”
“I know no words can compensate for your past. I’m really, really sorry.”
I didn’t even have the right to cry. I held back tears, tensing my body to suppress the shaking.
It was hard to meet her eyes. It felt like someone was strangling me.
Sienna turned and left my room. I stared blankly at her retreating figure before coming to my senses and chasing after her.
She was gripping the stair railing tightly, her head hung low. I grabbed her shoulder and spoke.
“Sienna. Let’s talk.”
“Do you know? Everything you have now should have been mine. That pretty hair, the intelligence, even your fiancé!”
Sienna shook off my hand, her eyes blazing.
My mouth dried. Every word Sienna spoke shattered the floor beneath my feet.
“I—I—I… I’m s-sorry, Sienna. But this really isn’t my fault. I truly—”
“Even the name! That name was mine. I am Selena Estarion! Not you!”
My head dropped. My very existence felt repulsive.
If only I didn’t exist, if only I hadn’t been a half-wit with no memories—this tragedy might never have happened.
“I want to be alone.”
“I’m sorry. I truly am…”
It happened the moment Sienna turned away from me.
Her long hair fluttered in the air, and her figure collapsed downwards.
“Eek! Sienna!”
I reached out to catch her, but my body was heavy and slow. Her fall down the stairs felt like it was happening in slow motion, like a spell had been cast.
I saw her face through the strands of her scattered hair. Just for a moment, our eyes met.
Her expression…
The next instant, Sienna tumbled down the stairs with a loud crash.
“Sienna—!”
“M-Miss! Miss Sienna!”
I ran down the stairs as the maids, who had been tidying the hallway, rushed over.
Sienna! Sienna! They shook her and cried out for a physician, and then I heard murmurs.
“I think Miss Selena pushed Miss Sienna.”
That was the first moment I realized something was going terribly wrong.
