Episode 139

Yvonne was having dinner with Hildebrandt. She now sat across from him in the imperial palace’s rear garden, a place she’d grown rather used to.

Even cutting his food and handing it to him had become routine.

“Thank you.”

“Mhm.”

Yvonne was unsettled by how Hildebrandt barely touched his food, only watching her instead. Ever since she returned, his presence had grown even more unnerving.

“Yvonne… why do you never look at me?”

“B-because I’m shy…”

“Is that so?”

Only then did Yvonne force herself to meet Hildebrandt’s eyes. He looked at her with a slight squint and a faint smile. Every time he looked at her like that, it suffocated her. Every step felt like walking on a thorny path over thin ice—one slip and she’d fall into an endless abyss.

“Hilde… don’t you ever feel that way?”

“No.”

“I see…”

Yvonne forced a smile and looked at Hildebrandt’s plate. Once again, he hadn’t touched his food—only watched her eat.

“…If you don’t eat, I don’t want to either.”

“Then I’ll eat.”

“Okay.”

Hildebrandt spoke and slowly picked up the food in front of him. Yvonne preferred when he silently ate without looking at her or speaking. At least then, he didn’t hurt her—he was beautiful in those moments, like a painting.

He was like a statue sculpted from glass—so exquisitely handsome, so delicate. But also sharp—dangerously sharp. Something not meant to be touched. That fragility made her afraid of him too.

“Ah…!”

A servant lost his grip while setting down a dish, and with a loud clatter, the plate tipped, spilling a bit of sauce on Yvonne’s hand.

“Look at that—what a nuisance.”

“Hilde!”

Startled, Yvonne called out to him quickly. She turned to the servant, who looked about her age—brown hair, brown eyes, a dusting of freckles. A very ordinary face.

Yvonne gestured for the servant to step back. He, sensing the mood, did so quickly.

“What was that?”

“He’s… not very good at his job.”

“Clearly.”

Yvonne tensed again. Hildebrandt’s expression had darkened.

“Then why do you care so much?”

“W-what? I don’t—”

“Francis.”

“Yes.”

“Kill him.”

“A-aaaah! Y-Your Majesty! Please, have mercy!”

The servant immediately fell to his knees, pleading. Hildebrandt made a small gesture, and Francis stopped.

“I’ve sinned! I deserve death! Please spare me…!”

“Yes, you’ve committed a crime worth dying for. Yvonne looked at you, after all.”

“Hilde.”

Yvonne called his name in fear, but Hildebrandt didn’t look at her.

“Hilde…”

“We’re eating. Not here.”

“Y-Your…! Ugh…!”

“Go to the central fountain and drown yourself.”

“Yes.”

Under hypnosis, the servant answered blankly and ran toward the fountain.

“Hilde!”

Yvonne remembered the dogs that had been killed before her eyes—how easily they had died, too.

“Why are you calling me like that?”

“Don’t do this!”

“Why not?”

She was terrified this new servant would die. It felt like Hildebrandt could just as easily kill her the same way.

“I… I only look at you, Hilde… So please…”

“Don’t lie.”

“I-I’m scared… please… ugh… because of me… hic…”

Yvonne trembled as she stood up. Hildebrandt remained seated, so she sank to the floor and rested her head against his thigh.

“Why are you crying? Is it because that lowlife’s going to die?”

“No…!”

“Then what?”

“I… I hate when people die because of me…”

“Ah, I see.”

As he lifted her chin to look her in the eyes, Yvonne hoped he would calm down a little. But instead, her tears only seemed to irritate him more.

“It’s your fault. You looked away from me.”

“Yes. It’s my fault. So please…”

“Then it’s your fault he died just now.”

“Ah…”

Yvonne couldn’t say a word—whether it was because of his icy expression or because she truly believed the servant had died.

“I’ll spare him if you kiss me.”

“…”

Yvonne forced herself to rise and leaned in to touch his lips with her own.

“He got a kiss out of you? Just because of him?”

She couldn’t do anything. That was when Yvonne finally realized—ever since she came back, there was nothing she could do.

“Kill him.”

“Knew you’d say that.”

“Yes. Make it painless.”

Yvonne realized she needed to put on a mask. She sat on his thigh and complied. What Hildebrandt wanted was blind devotion—unwavering attention. As long as she didn’t look elsewhere and kept a cold, composed face, maybe he wouldn’t act like this.

But she was still terrified, and the tears wouldn’t stop. Her mind was going blank.

All she could do was cling to him and hope no one else would be hurt.

“Let’s eat now.”

“Yes.”

“Where do you think you’re going?”

“You said to eat, so…”

“Here. Eat here.”

“…Yes.”

Yvonne decided not to resist anymore. Just do as he said.

She missed Yurian more than ever. But a part of her also hoped he wouldn’t come back—because if he did, the Emperor would put him in danger again.

Yurian had already lost to the Emperor once. If he hadn’t achieved a second awakening, he wouldn’t stand a chance.

“Open your mouth.”

“Yes.”

Yvonne obeyed. When he handed her a piece of meat, she took it into her mouth. It felt like chewing sand, but she endured it—so she wouldn’t be tempted to look at anyone else.

* * *

“Your Highness.”

Evony brought her a letter.

Yvonne opened it immediately—she had been waiting for it all this time.

「I’ve decided not to go to the Holy State, but to Rokenia Island instead.
It seems it will take more time than I expected.

I have someone traveling with me, and it’s been quite a nuisance.

If I’d been on the ship with you instead, it might have felt like a honeymoon, and that thought alone makes me happy.

If I could write down everything I feel, I’m sure you’d want to see me.
But my feelings are too big and too deep to fit into words.

Sometimes, I feel embarrassed that I’m a warrior—so much less delicate than you.

I love everything about you. Even the sound of waves slapping beneath the ship’s hull in the sea breeze reminds me of you, and my chest aches.

What do you like about me?
It frightens me sometimes—because I feel like I’m not good at anything except being strong.

Like maybe I’m not worthy to stand beside you.

But I’ve sent this letter, so I believe that, at least for today, you’ll think of me.

…Truly.

I miss you so much.

– Yours, Yurian.」

“Wahaha—!”

Yvonne laughed out loud for the first time in a long while. Overjoyed, she read the letter over and over again.

She missed Yurian terribly. The idea that he thought himself lacking in delicacy was so laughable to her. To Yvonne, Yurian was a deeply thoughtful man. He always paid attention to her reactions and acted with care.

He was someone who changed for her—who never forced anything upon her. That was why being with Yurian felt easy. He didn’t demand her heart—he simply made it feel safe.

“Urgh…”

“Your Highness?”

“Could you leave me, Evony?”

“Won’t you be writing a reply?”

“No.”

Yvonne thought it might be risky if a reply ended up getting traced. Besides, she believed Yurian would understand, even if she didn’t respond. He would trust her. That was why she decided not to send a reply and avoid causing unnecessary trouble.

Yvonne tried to smile through the lump in her throat. But Evony, sensing her sorrow, tensed with worry—her eyes even grew red as though she might cry too. Seeing that, Yvonne couldn’t keep smiling either.

“Your Highness.”

“Hm?”

“I want to hold you.”

“…Okay.”

Yvonne allowed herself to be pulled into Evony’s embrace, clutching the precious letter in her hands as she buried her face into Evony’s shoulder.

“Your Highness, to me… you are everything.”

“Urgh…”

Those words made tears fall before Yvonne could stop them. She had always believed Evony belonged to Hildebrandt, and yet, somehow… she’d found herself trusting her.

Even now, knowing tears wouldn’t fix anything, she cried—because Evony was holding her.

“Evony.”

“Yes, Your Highness.”

“I miss Yurian so much.”

“He misses you just as much.”

Hearing those words, the real Yvonne engraved them deep in her heart. And she decided not to stop the tears.

When Yurian returned, everything would change.

She feared what might happen to him when he did—but she had no intention of staying weak and letting it happen.