Chapter 32
‘I remember falling because of Luke…’
I had blacked out the moment I fell, so I had no memory of what happened afterward.
From the darkened sky, I could tell a considerable amount of time had passed.
And from my soaked clothes, it was clear I had been swept away by the river.
Those were the only two things I could vaguely piece together.
‘Where am I?’
I silently asked the unanswerable question as I scanned my surroundings.
A cool, bright moon,
an endless expanse of dense forest,
and the shallow stream that must have carried me here—nothing else was in sight.
But soon, I knew where I needed to go.
“The sound of an ocarina…”
From somewhere, a clear, resonant sound reached my ears.
The melody of an ocarina, as if the moon itself were playing to soothe its own loneliness…
It was a sound so pure it defied any other description.
“Your Highness, please come inside. It’s starting to rain.”
It was a plea from Felix, his close aide.
But Naitan did not respond.
He simply kept staring into the dark depths of the forest.
It had been exactly one week since he began standing here like a statue, waiting for Claudia.
Ever since sending her off, he had been watching the forest, filled with regret.
‘I should have gone with her.’
With no way to know her situation, his worry grew with each passing day.
Where was she?
Had she found the spirit?
Most importantly—was she even safe?
He knew nothing, could do nothing.
All he could do was silently wait for her eventual return.
“It’s time. I’ll stay here—if you want to go in, go alone.”
Hearing Naitan’s response, Felix let out a deep sigh.
Standing too long in this heavy downpour would drain anyone’s stamina.
No matter how monstrously strong Naitan was, Felix couldn’t help but worry.
“She wouldn’t want you to suffer like this.”
“……”
Naitan didn’t answer at all—a silent refusal.
Another sigh of resignation escaped Felix’s lips.
Just as he was about to fetch something to shield the stubborn prince from the rain, Naitan suddenly broke his silence.
“I’m truly pathetic. I sent Claudia into this dangerous island alone.”
“She wasn’t alone. You sent skilled knights with her.”
“I left it to others. I should have gone myself.”
“But she insisted—”
Naitan raised a hand, cutting him off.
“No. It’s my fault.”
There was no consoling him after that.
Felix fell silent as Naitan sank back into regret.
Why hadn’t he stopped her more forcefully? Why had he agreed to her plan? Why…?
Just as he was about to spiral deeper into self-blame, a lookout atop the ship suddenly shouted.
“They’re back! The expedition team has returned!”
Naitan immediately shot to his feet, stepping onto the railing.
His eyes locked onto the distant edge of the forest.
The exhausted expedition team was emerging from the shadows of the trees.
“……?”
If the mission had been successful, Claudia should have been at the forefront.
She should have been waving her hand, beaming with joy, announcing they had found the spirit.
But she wasn’t there.
Her smile, her figure—Naitan couldn’t find her anywhere.
The surroundings were as silent as if I had been abandoned in the depths of the abyss.
Slowly opening my eyes, I saw shimmering blue ripples.
And above the water’s surface, the fractured glimmer of pale moonlight.
‘I’m… sinking underwater.’
Realizing this, I closed my eyes again.
None of it mattered anymore.
Why was I underwater? How could I still breathe?
I didn’t understand anything… but so what? It was so peaceful here.
That was enough.
[If you can’t find it within three days, just give up and come back. Even without a spirit, securing the throne isn’t that hard.]
Just as I was about to drift back to sleep, those words—spoken to me by someone—suddenly resurfaced in my mind.
I opened my eyes slightly.
‘Who was it?’
There had definitely been someone who worried about me like that.
Someone who had urged me to come back alive.
I tried to recall his face, but it was difficult.
For some reason, my memories were fading.
‘Someone very close to me…’
I knew the rough texture of his hands brushing against the inside of my thighs.
I knew how hot his breath had been against my ear in moments of passion.
As if we had shared intimacy every night, every part of him was etched into my body.
It was strange that his face wouldn’t come to mind.
‘Why can’t I remember someone so close to me?’
Just as I was straining to recall, the unfamiliar presence embracing me whispered—
In a voice so clear and ethereal it was hard to believe it was human.
<It’s alright to forget the past. As long as you’re with me.>
At that moment, my mind went blank.
The memories I had been grasping at slipped back beneath my consciousness.
His voice was beautiful, but it had a dulling effect, as if lulling me into numbness.
‘Mmm…’
While I was dazed, he pulled me deeper.
Honestly, the sensation of sinking wasn’t unpleasant.
No—it wasn’t just not unpleasant. It was warm. Comfortable.
I could have stayed like this forever.
‘But… what was I forgetting?’
Despite the comfort, I struggled to recall the past.
It felt like I was forgetting something truly important.
‘Right… I came from another world…’
The world I originally came from was completely different from this one.
I fought to hold onto the fleeting memories.
‘What happened after that?’
Then, once again, the voice beside me interfered.
<Don’t dwell on an unhappy life. No one remembers or misses you anyway.>
His cruel words stabbed at me.
It was sad, but I couldn’t deny it.
Hazy recollections surfaced—of being pointed at, scorned as a wicked woman.
‘Right… That’s how it was…’
The sadness welled up, tears spilling over.
No one is truly unaffected by hatred.
I had tried so hard to pretend it didn’t hurt, living among those who despised me—but it had been agony.
The man gently wiped my tears with his cold fingers.
<Are you crying? How pitiful… Here, in my arms, you’ll never have to suffer like that again.>
He was supposedly comforting me, yet—
I could sense a hidden delight in his voice.
As if he enjoyed seeing me in pain.
If that were true, he had a rather sadistic taste.
‘But maybe there were happy memories too.’
Clutching at that hope, I finally spoke after a long silence.
“Yes, it was painful. But…”
<…?>
“I overcame it. I abandoned my own brother. I abandoned my former fiancé.”
That was right.
Though they hated me, I wasn’t foolish enough to beg for love in return.
The moment I realized my brother would never treat me as family, I cut him off without hesitation.
My cold former fiancé was the same.
To escape the man who saw me as nothing but a vulgar woman, I had done something shocking—
I went to his older brother instead.
And proposed…
<Enough.>
Again.
The moment I tried to recall something good, the man interrupted, as if sensing it.
But this time, I refused to let go.
I focused, determined to remember.
“…I wanted to break off my engagement with the Crown Prince, who despised me—so I proposed to Naitan instead. And he accepted. In exchange…”
<Did you sleep with him?>
His voice was sharp as a blade, slicing through my words.
Then he poured poison into my ears.
<Even if he accepted your proposal, it wasn’t out of love. He had his own motives. Like your young, beautiful body…>
Just as he said, Naitan had taken me to bed the very night he accepted my proposal.
All night, without rest, he had pushed himself deep inside me, claiming every inch.
“…But that wasn’t all.”
