Chapter 103
Oh Habin had no idea why he was acting this way right now. He kept feeling the heat rising in his body, his breath getting ragged, and his head feeling dizzy. It almost seemed like his lower body was getting heavier too. This persistent desire was nagging at him, but he didn’t know what kind it was or what he wanted.
With a groan, Habin collapsed to the ground. At first glance, it seemed like Ahyeon’s expression was stern. No, it couldn’t be like that. He couldn’t bear for Ahyeon to hate him. Ahyeon, Ahyeon, Min Ahyeon. She was the only savior who guided his life.
If it weren’t for Ahyeon, he would have died. If she hadn’t saved him from that battlefield with explosions going off, he couldn’t have survived like this.
Habin had only one reason for joining the military.
It was to escape the suffocating environment at home. Growing up under parents who fought and hit him every single day, having to walk on eggshells and get beaten, Habin needed an immediate escape.
It was somewhat ironic that he fled violence only to end up in the military, where violence was sanctioned, but he had no other choice. He needed a place to go after leaving home and fending for himself.
However, after enlisting, Habin soon realized his choice was a mistake. Violence, violence, violence…it was rampant everywhere he went. The military had a merciless order where superiors beat subordinates, who then beat their own subordinates. And that was just the beginning. After the war broke out, it became even worse. The people who had become hardened lashed out at each other even more, often pointing guns at the very comrades they were supposed to trust with their backs.
Habin wanted to run away. But he couldn’t. If he left this place, where would he go? Back home? Back to watching…that same scene again at home?
Habin himself knew very well which was more agonizing between watching strangers inflict violence on each other or watching his own parents do the same.
So Habin endured and endured, turning a blind eye to the pervasive violence.
And so, at some point, Habin found himself immersed in the whirlpool of that violence. One day, as he kicked his junior’s shin, Habin thought, What am I doing right now?
That was when Ahyeon appeared.
“From now on, violence within our platoon is prohibited. Understand?”
“Use words, use words with these guys. You guys. Why do you use your fists like animals?”
Becoming a platoon leader, Ahyeon’s first order was to prohibit violence among the members. Could that really be possible, when they would still secretly hit each other behind her back? Habin thought so until he followed Ahyeon to the locker room and saw her dragging a member who had come to pick a fight all the way to her.
It was only then that Habin admitted to himself that he really could escape violence.
Ahyeon was the person who had saved his life, as well as the mentor who had saved his mind. Without her, he couldn’t have lived the way he does now. This much he was truly certain of.
So if he earned Ahyeon’s hatred, if their relationship became irreparably damaged due to his own meaningless actions, then…
His mind thought he shouldn’t do it, but his body didn’t listen to reason. His heating body and rising desire between his thighs were far beyond the realm of his rational control.
Habin slowly raised his head to look at Ahyeon. No matter how uncontrollable this arousal below was, having such desire towards her was utterly shameful and dirty. Habin shook his head.
“Lieutenant…”
Habin crawled over towards Ahyeon.
“Can you hold my hand…?”
If he could hold her hand, feel her warmth, be close to her, then maybe he could subdue this vile desire rising within him.
Ahyeon, who had hesitated, reached her hand out towards Habin. Habin grasped it like an oasis discovered in the middle of a desert. He pressed his forehead to the back of her hand and panted rapidly.
“Oh Habin. Are you okay?”
Ahyeon’s gentle voice circled Habin’s ears and entered his mind. He caressed each of her fingers one by one before gripping her hand tightly.
“Lieutenant.”
He pulled her palm towards his cheek and said with a flustered smile,
“It’s warm.”
🕂
He’s sleeping, huh?
Wondering if he had died, I placed my hand under his nose and sighed, brushing aside the stray hairs that fell over his ear.
The sound of Habin’s breathing in his sleep was utterly childlike. So I couldn’t help but let out a wry laugh.
How was it the first time I learned about the antibodies in my blood, with Sergeant Kim Iwon? Didn’t he lose his senses the moment the blood touched him and lunged at me?
And what about Shin Hae-jun? Of course, I was the one who initiated the kiss and stimulated him, but even the composed Shin Hae-jun lost his senses and surrendered to his instincts.
But Oh Habin…
“All you asked was to hold hands.”
Hands.
What is this?
I looked down at Habin, still holding my hand even while asleep, and let out a bitter laugh. This guy must really like me a lot, I thought.
“Nngh.”
Habin let out a moan and shifted his body. It didn’t seem like he was just fidgeting in his sleep, but rather his body was hurting from the injuries he sustained rolling around on the beach earlier. There was even blood seeping through his shirt at a glance…Should I stitch him up?
After taking out the pocket knife, I plucked off the buttons of his blood-soaked shirt, tuk, tuk. Once all the buttons were off, I gently peeled back the crumpled shirt. The sticky blood was adhering to his skin, likely to cause stinging, but there was no choice. I had to treat him first before the wounds festered.
“I was the one fighting, so why are you more injured?”
I muttered as I took the first aid kit out of Habin’s bag.
“Hang in there for a bit.”
“Nghh…”
Though letting out pained groans like he was in agony, Habin was still asleep. So, without hesitation, I poured the disinfectant liberally over him. I held down his writhing body and tightly wrapped the bandages. After splinting what looked like a broken arm, I finally finished the emergency treatment.
“I’m being so nice to you, Habin-ah. Right? So listen better from now on.”
It was just an offhand remark, but Habin shifted again, and soon a voice responded.
“Ugh…Lieu…Lieutenant.”
Did the pain wake him up? Habin looked at me with half-opened eyes and opened his mouth haltingly.
“I’ll… listen to you… better…”
He smiled faintly and rested his forehead on my lap.
“Then…why did you leave me behind?”
Barely lifting his arm, he weakly grabbed my wrist and said.
“I would have gone with you if you’d asked.”
“……”
“I hate you.”
After saying that, Habin passed out again. Ah, what should I say? How should I react? I blankly looked down at Habin, who had his head resting on my thigh, then slowly raised my hand and brushed back his sweat and blood-matted hair.
Habin is still like a child.
Looking at him makes me think of Woo-joo.
Perhaps that’s why I tried to take more careful care of him. I liked how he would follow me around calling “Lieutenant, Lieutenant” like a little brother.
But…
‘That’s right, I left you behind to find Woo-joo.’
He has reason to resent me. To hate me.
But you didn’t hate me, did you? You were just upset.
“You’re better than me.”
I stroked Habin’s hair again and muttered.
“I’m sorry.”
Then I slowly bowed my head and kissed his forehead.
It wasn’t out of any sexual feelings, but…well, it’s hard to explain, but it was an action stemming from my desire to show that I still care about Habin.
I rested my cheek on Habin’s forehead and patted his chest, tuk, tuk. For a moment, the only sounds were his soft breathing and slow heartbeat. It even felt strangely peaceful.
At that moment.
Kwaaaang!
The wooden door I had propped shut burst open. And fortunately, it was Shin Hae-jun and Seo Yoo-jin who appeared.
“Min Ahyeon! Why didn’t you answer the communications! Are you in your right mind…?”
Shin Hae-jun barged in and yelled relentlessly, but as soon as he saw me and Habin, his expression furrowed.
“Lieutenant Min. What is this situation?”
He groaned and twisted his lips.
“Did you sleep with that guy?”
🕂
Thank you for reading! ♡
