But Jerald’s condition was a little… It seemed different from usual.
In a moment of fear, Pristin quickly approached him, forgetting the fact that she needed to remain composed and calm. Jerald remained motionless in his spot. With a furrowed brow, Pristin asked him.
“Are you all right, Your Majesty? Why are you here alone…”
And in that moment, Jerald suddenly embraced Pristin. Startled by the unexpected situation, Pristin instinctively stumbled backward but held onto him tightly to prevent Jerald from falling.
“…Your Majesty.”
The situation felt strangely familiar, almost like déjà vu. Wasn’t it just a while ago at the first ball where he came to her room drunk and acted like this?
But now, she didn’t smell alcohol, and above all, he didn’t come to her intentionally. So Pristin felt this situation was more serious now.
“What’s going on?”
At this hour? Pristin couldn’t fathom it, her expression showing confusion. And as Jerald held her closely, trembling as if he had seen a ghost in the middle of the night, Pristin subconsciously caressed his body gently. With a voice filled with confusion, she asked.
“Are you all right, Your Majesty?”
“…Just.”
A weak voice grazed Pristin’s ear.
“Just hold me like this.”
“…Your Majesty.”
“Please, Pristin. For now, please…”
He murmured in a distressed voice.
“If you leave me too, I won’t be able to bear it. So…”
“I understand, Your Majesty.”
Startled by his unfamiliar appearance, Pristin quickly replied.
“I’ll be here. I’ll continue to stay like this. So…”
“…”
“Calm down. I don’t know what happened, but now everything is okay.”
“Sigh…”
Even in the sound of his deep exhale, she could sense his trembling. And Pristin became extremely worried. What on earth had happened in the middle of the night?
But now, even if she asked, she didn’t think she would hear a meaningful answer. So, Pristin made an effort to suppress her curiosity and simply comforted him, just like a mother soothing a crying baby in the middle of the night.
Only after she judged that Jerald had somewhat regained his composure, Pristin stopped her comforting and slowly pulled away from him.
Though he didn’t tremble like before, Jerald’s expression appeared immensely tired when they faced each other again. Like someone burdened by something heavy.
Finally, Pristin asked again.
“What happened? Or why did you come out alone in the middle of the night like this?”
“I had a nightmare.”
On his expressionless face, the only sign of fear could be seen in his eyes. Pristin was momentarily taken aback by his childlike answer. But the one giving the answer seemed quite serious.
“The memory that scares me the most appeared in my dream.”
“If it’s a terrible memory…”
“I, I abandoned that child…”
He stopped there and once again showed a deeply agonized expression. Startled by his intense reaction, Pristin quickly interrupted him.
“No, Your Highness. You don’t have to tell me. You don’t need to explain to me.”
“…I’m afraid.”
“Dreams are just dreams, and the past is just the past, Your Highness. Don’t worry unnecessarily.”
“The fear that the dream brings me is temporary.”
He looked at Pristin with weary eyes and spoke.
“What I fear is that you will find out about my true colors, and run away.”
“…”
“That’s what I’m most afraid of.”
If it were the old her, she would hug him tightly and reassure him, ‘It won’t happen, so rest easy.’ But now she couldn’t. For the first time, Pristin felt blaming herself in that situation.
After biting her lip, she slowly embraced him again. Jerald weakly held onto Pristin.
Pristin struggled to choose her words, contemplating and choosing again and again, before finally opening her mouth with difficulty.
“Your Majesty is not an evil man.”
“…”
“So even if I were to leave, I wouldn’t be leaving because of your ‘true colors’.”
Leaving behind a somewhat ambiguous reassurance, Pristin slowly closed her eyes. Her body felt cold, most likely from staying outside for too long.
“You may catch a cold, Your Majesty. You’d better go in now.”
“…Alone?”
Unwilling to be separated, Pristin unconsciously bit her lip.
“I cannot possibly let you go alone, so I will accompany you to the central palace.”
With a quite reasonable justification, Pristin went with Jerald to the central palace. Fortunately, by the time they arrived, he seemed to have regained some stability.
Upon arriving at the central palace, the attendants quickly took the emperor to his bedroom with worried expressions. As Pristin followed Jerald, the attendants by her side voiced their relief.
“We owe our lives to Your Excellency. The emperor was in such distress, trying to leave alone on this night…”
“Why did His Majesty venture outside alone at dawn?”
“We’re not exactly sure.”
“Just about an hour ago, we heard moaning from the bedroom, as if His Majesty had a nightmare.”
“When we went inside, His Majesty was already drenched in cold sweat and shivering.”
“We were startled and forcibly woke His Majesty, but upon rising, he sternly ordered us not to follow and went outside.”
“After that, we were all trembling with fear. It’s our duty not to defy the imperial order…”
Upon hearing their words, Pristin suddenly recalled Jerald’s earlier remark.
“The memory that scares me the most appeared in my dream.”
What could it be? Pristin wanted to ask, but she doubted the attendants would easily provide an answer. Besides, she was not the empress nor did she have any relationship with him.
Deciding not to dwell on her curiosity, Pristin followed Jerald into his bedroom. He was still lying on the bed, appearing unable to regain a stable breath. Pristin approached him.
“Only Countess Rosewell should stay. Everyone else, please leave.”
All the servants who knew Jerald’s temper did so. Pristin couldn’t bear to leave his side and sat on the bedside. Pristin spoke to Jerald in a low voice.
“Since you have important affairs to attend to, it would be better for you to go back to sleep.”
“Will you stay with me until I fall asleep?”
“Your Majesty, that’s…”
“If I close my eyes again, I feel like I’m going to dream that dream.”
Then Jerald clasped Pristin’s hand. Pristin was embarrassed at the moment, but he could not take his hand out of him carelessly.
The moist, wet eyes of Jerald stared at Pristin.
“Please, Pristin.”
“…”
Pristin was also shaken by his infinitely weakened appearance. Finally, Pristin bit her lips hard and sighed briefly. Then she rang the bell on the bedside.
After a while, the servant heard the bell and came inside.
“Please bring me lavender candles.”
The attendant looked puzzled but brought what Pristin asked for. After the attendant left, Jerald looked at Pristin with a puzzled expression.
“Why suddenly… lavender candles?”
“I also have recurring nightmares, just like Your Majesty.”
Upon hearing this, Jerald stared at Pristin in surprise. But she maintained a calm expression as she continued speaking.
“Once I had a nightmare, it was hard to fall asleep again. Lavender candles are a little helpful at that time.”
“…”
“I’ll make a scented candle infused with herbs that can help with insomnia. If you have a dream like today, please use it,” Pristin said.
“… I didn’t know you also had nightmares.”
“Doesn’t everyone have at least one painful memory that they can’t forget?”
Unknowingly, Pristin clasped her hand around the ring that was hanging around her neck.
“It’s something I can never forget, to the point where it appears in my dreams…”
“…”
“So, I don’t know if it will be of any comfort, but I hope you won’t be too disheartened.”
“We have something in common.”
“Both of us wish they would disappear.”
“Today.”
Jerald hesitated for a moment before speaking.
“You know that the empress candidates are entering the palace, right?”
“Yes.”
“Let me make it clear that I won’t choose an empress from among them. The selection process is merely a means to temporarily appease the nobles.”
Jerald’s gaze returned to a steady one as he looked at Pristin intently.
“My empress is only you, Pristin Rosewell.”
“…Your Majesty.”
“Whatever you fear, whatever worries you.”
He promised with a clear pronunciation.
“I’ll get rid of it all. So just stay by my side until then.”
“…”
“Don’t drift away from my sight.”
It was both a request and a plea.
And upon hearing those words, Pristin felt a pang in her heart. He didn’t know why she was pushing him away. If he knew, he wouldn’t be able to say those words.
So no matter what she said to him, it could all be just a cruel torment if it wasn’t the truth.
But she couldn’t tell him the truth, and she couldn’t even say she understood, so Pristin forced herself to say something different.
“Go to sleep now, Your Majesty. It’s too late.”
“…”
“I’ll be here until you fall asleep, so don’t worry and close your eyes.”
Jerald gazed at her for a moment before slowly closing his eyes. The notion that he wouldn’t be able to fall asleep again quickly turned into a falsehood, whether it was because Pristin was by his side or due to the influence of the lavender scented candle.
Jerald fell back into slumber, and Pristin quietly watched him for a while without saying a word. She only moved from her position after she was certain that he had fallen into a deep sleep.
“…”
Gazing at Jerald, who had fallen asleep, Pristin whispered quietly towards him.
“This time, Your Majesty, I hope you have nothing but pleasant dreams.”
That wish, at that moment, was more sincere than anything else. Pristin turned around slowly and, as quietly as possible, left Jerald’s bedroom, being mindful to suppress the sound of her footsteps.
