“…Can’t I just give him an allowance?”
“He doesn’t need the allowance you give him. He has his own money.”
“…”
The emperor tried to swallow a groan and eventually sat down across from Asha.
“I’m glad you dismissed the chamberlain. If he had stayed here, he would have said he would resign.”
“Please treat him well, Grandfather. He is a hardworking person.”
“…To curry favor with you is more difficult than to draw up the empire’s annual budget.”
“I don’t like anyone trying to please me.”
“Truly difficult, indeed.”
Even as the emperor let out a deep sigh, Asha remained unyielding.
“I don’t need anything like that. I just like when Grandfather loves me.”
“…”
“I know what Grandfather was worried about. I understand you were more worried that being friendly would be too casual.”
“…”
“But that wasn’t what you wanted, Grandfather.”
The emperor smiled faintly. The words “what you wanted” felt distant to him.
“Did you think the position of the emperor was a position where you could do whatever you wanted? It’s a position where you do things you don’t want to do. That’s only natural.”
He had to choose a successor knowing it would hurt his sons, and he couldn’t reach out his hand even though he knew they desired affection.
He was well aware that what his grandson, who was left in the palace, wanted was family. That’s why he wanted to use his other granddaughter as a source of caution, by attaching a slave who could be dangerous to her, to show that the results of affectionate actions might not always be good.
He had dedicated his entire life to ensuring that the burden placed solely on his shoulders would not injure him, would not fall off, and would be held up completely.
Asha looked straight at the emperor and spoke.
“In truth, Grandfather, you also wanted to be loved by your sons.”
“Huh, me?”
“It’s not too late. You can still do it.”
Asha clenched her fist.
“My grandfather can do it, too! Become a good father who is loved!”
“…”
“Grandfather, you’ve done many things you didn’t want to do all this time, so wouldn’t it be okay to do something you want to do for once? Your sons are adults now too.”
“Keum.”
The emperor felt an odd stiffness in his chest and an itchiness in his throat, so he cleared his throat in vain.
He wanted to be loved by his children. It was a desire just as strong as his desire to love them. However, he had willingly set aside his desire to love and lacked the qualifications to desire to be loved, so he couldn’t even feel indignant about it.
There was no one to ask him if he had such feelings, being in his position as the emperor of all mankind. So he pretended not to have such feelings, even as the youngest granddaughter, with sparkling eyes, voiced it and looked at him.
“So, do you have something to give me?”
“Oh, what? What’s it this time?”
The emperor asked quickly, relieved that the topic had turned a little.
“A letter to my mom and dad.”
The emperor’s fingertips trembled. Asha looked up at the emperor with an innocent expression.
“If you give it to me, I’ll deliver it when I go down.”
“…Are you joking around so easily? Do you think I wrote letters praising them or something?”
Asha poked out her lower lip and looked at the emperor. The emperor quickly continued.
“Well, if you say so, then, well, I guess there’s no harm in it.”
After saying so, the emperor turned his head to the side and avoided Asha’s eyes.
“But I can’t just write it easily.”
Asha was slightly taken aback and pursed her lips. Whose benefit was this for, anyway? Seriously!
“If you swear to me that you will also bring me their reply, then I will gladly write it.”
“What?”
Asha looked up at the emperor with her eyes wide open. The emperor, with a clear expression clearly saying he had no choice but to say it despite his wounded pride, finally made eye contact with Asha.
“Isn’t it possible that you won’t be able to get a reply from the prince and princess who ran away after persecuting the emperor to write a letter?”
“That’s…”
“Will you swear?”
“What if my parents say they don’t want to reply to you?”
“…It’s their own business.”
Asha looked up at the emperor with a sullen look. The emperor cleared his throat and avoided her gaze. Eventually, Asha sighed heavily and answered.
“All right, I got it.”
“…Do you swear?”
“I said I got it. Coward.”
“…know that if you break your oath, you will have to make me snacks all month, every day.”
The emperor pretended not to hear the word “coward” and left the room, leaving Asha alone. Soon after, Lise, who had been waiting outside, quickly returned and examined Asha’s complexion. Asha said, looking at the face that was clearly worried about what had happened while she was alone with the emperor.
“You know, Lise, Grandfather… Isn’t he just coming without notice these days?”
“…”
Lise couldn’t answer Asha’s words because of her exhaustion.
━━━✦❘༻༺❘✦━━━
Before she went to sleep, Asha lit a candlestick and opened the letters that the emperor had left behind.
Dimitri’s letter read, [I won’t play Kerum with you anymore. Don’t forget our promise for strawberry tarts next time.] It mentioned that the strawberry tarts were delicious but it felt unfair. And in the postscript, he rambled on about how good the winter fabric he promised to pay was.
Maxim’s letter said, [It seems Yuriev was careless because he wasn’t very good at Kerum, but I guess you are a lot like your mother. I can’t forget the taste of the chocolate confetti, so I want to buy it in bulk.] Asha was baffled by the content of the letter.
There was also a letter from the emperor, which was rather brief.
[Just because I said I will honor your wish doesn’t mean you can do whatever you want. You must bring at least three knights from the order.
The kipferl cookies are soft and sweet, and they taste good.]
“How did he even know about that?”
Asha squinted and turned over the letter. She hadn’t told anyone about not wanting to bring the knights. She had fought with Karnov over it, but she hadn’t said anything to anyone else…
<Karnov must’ve said something to the grandson of the landowner, and it seems like he told the landowner.>
“Hmm.”
<Karnov must be worried about you, don’t you think?>
The little chick looked down at the letter from the desk and spoke carefully. Asha frowned and flicked the chick’s tail with her fingertips. The chick flinched.
Asha chuckled and opened the next letter. It was from Yekaterina, and it was a bit longer. Asha tilted her head in confusion.
Although Yekaterina was Karnov’s grandmother, she didn’t have much contact with her. She thought there wouldn’t be much to say…
[I hope you forgive me for not attending the recent exhibition. It was because that day was my former aide’s day off…]
Unexpectedly, the private contents were written long and friendly.
[…I heard that the alcohol you sent me through my grandchild was made by yourself, but out of all the drinks I’ve had so far…]
Asha rested her head on the desk for a moment. The overt comments made her blush.
<Why does your face turn red with just a few words when you can see their emotions with your own eyes?>
“But if she writes ‘it was delicious’ like this, wouldn’t she have thought about how delicious it was while reading each letter, as each letter spells out ‘delicious’? It feels somewhat embarrassing.”
Phoebe looked up at Asha, blinking her black eyes with an expression of incomprehension.
<Isn’t it embarrassing to see the light storm behind them in person?>
“Oh, come on. What kind of literary discourse are we having? Go away.”
<No, I’m asking! You stupid Asha!>
“Silly Phoebe, go away. I need to read the next letter.”
Asha pushed Phoebe away with her arm and opened the last letter. It was written by Karnov.
“Huh? Isn’t this a bit long?”
Every time she received a letter, it was always brief, but this time the envelope seemed a bit thicker.
[This is the fifth letter.
The confetti you made for the recent exhibition was delicious. I liked the savory taste without being sweet. Thank you for the food. I also drank the shasling liquor that we made before with my grandmother. It was refreshing and sweet when served chilled. Thank you.]
“Hm? What’s this? Suddenly?”
Asha raised her head in surprise. The letter continued with short comments on the things Asha had made and shared so far.
Not too sweet but bitter and savory chocolate confetti, cold and sweet shasling wine made by hand, baked financier crispy on the outside, moistened carrot cake with apricot jam inside, sweet and sour lime pie, and more.
Asha blinked at a list of snacks that stretched almost one page.
<Your ears turned red in the previous letters, but why are you so indifferent to Karnov’s letter?>
“No, it’s just strange. Why is he talking about baked goods so much? He usually only talks about business matters.”
Asha read the entire page with an unusually thoughtful expression, and then laughed so hard that she fell off her chair. She continued to laugh on the floor and then clumsily climbed back onto the chair.
“Oh, ow. Ah, geez. That startled me.”
The second page abruptly ended the topic of baked goods, like it was cut off with an axe. And there were only two lines left.
[The thing about Prince Yuriev was a lie from me.
…Sorry.]
In order to apologize for the joke at that time, Karnov filled an entire page with talk of baked goods.
“I must have teased him too much back then.”
As Asha imagined Karnov writing this letter with a serious expression, she couldn’t help but burst into laughter. After staring at the second page with only two lines for a while, Asha neatly folded it.
