TISND Chapter 76

Chapter 76

The more her words were meant to be for the other person’s sake, the colder and more rational she became. It was the same now.

She was saying she didn’t need him, that he should leave, all while her own face was a mess.

She hadn’t noticed it back at the academy.

“You have such bloodshot eyes, and you’re telling me to leave?”

“… I’m not that much of a mess.”

Helena muttered reluctantly, and Aiden let out a hollow laugh.

Ah, how much he regretted it. If he had noticed this face back at the academy, how much better would it have been?

He knew she must’ve been in pain at that time too. But he had been so focused on his own feelings that he hadn’t paid attention to what she was thinking.

Had he known, he would have done everything to hold on to her.

Maybe, just maybe… she wouldn’t have married Caligo.

The Helena he saw at the academy had been a shy, yet ambitious girl. She had been full of life, dreaming of a bright future.

It pained him to think that such a girl had met a man with no blood or tears, and was now living a stifled life locked away in a mansion.

Like a progressing illness, she seemed to be wilting more and more.

If he had held on to her at the academy… perhaps he could have been the one sitting beside her now.

The only man who had been by her side back then had been him.

Helena as his wife.

He imagined her wearing a veil on their wedding day, looking up at him with her eyes full of love. She would surely be beautiful.

He pictured their wedding held in a forest, with her standing beneath the dense trees, shining with beauty. Her pure and lovely white dress would have been breathtaking.

Her gaze, like delicate but resilient leaves, would have fully met his, and even the wind-blown hair would have belonged to him.

He would have shown her only beautiful things and let her only eat beautiful things.

Although they wouldn’t have had much, they would have been happy living together.

He imagined coming home after a busy day to be greeted by her, and it filled him with a happiness so intense it made his heart ache.

If only… if only it wasn’t too late…

“I’m not leaving.”

He didn’t want to leave because he regretted the choice he made in the past.

Maybe, if he hadn’t given up at the academy, the man who would be by her side now would have been him. This time, he didn’t want to give up. He felt this was his last chance.

“I want to be with you.”

“…”

Helena remained silent.

“I’m not afraid of rumors. I didn’t commit any crime, so why should I run away? We’ve been through this before at the academy. We didn’t do anything wrong. It’s the world that’s wrong.”

“I know.”

“So I won’t run away. I won’t be weak anymore. I’m not afraid anymore.”

“… So?”

But she coldly responded.

“What will we tell the people who suspect us? Should I tell them I’m dying? That’s why you’re by my side? Or should I beg the Duke to join me in taking down my father, someone he wouldn’t even believe?”

Helena said.

“We can’t explain any of the facts or speak the truth. If you leave, everything will be easier. Why choose a difficult path?”

“Choose a difficult path? You’re the same. How are you going to do it all by yourself?”

“I’ll figure out a way.”

“I’m fine.”

“No.”

“Let’s just do it.”

“But…”

“Helena, please, even if you don’t want this, I will do it forcibly.”

Aiden said firmly.

“My life is coming to an end, but yours isn’t.”

“…”

“You still have so much time to live. Why are you only looking at the future in front of you?”

Helena retorted.

“You have a family, Senior.”

“I know. I’ll manage somehow.”

“Your younger sister is sick, and you still haven’t paid off the debts. I know things are financially tough.”

Though Aiden was a skilled doctor, his income was still unstable.
That was the reality for doctors from commoner backgrounds.

Unless they became a personal physician to a wealthy family or noble, they had to move from village to village to make a living.

Even if they were fortunate enough to work at a medical clinic, they still wouldn’t make as much as the personal doctor.

It was a noble profession and a stable job, but it wasn’t enough to pay off his father’s debts, let alone the mounting interest.

“I know you’re still paying off your debts.”

On the day when Helena had decided to sever ties with Aiden, facing the harsh reality, she had briefly visited the mansion of his family.

It was a crumbling house with no servants, falling apart as if it was on the brink of collapse.
Even the villagers mocked the Baron family, who had gone bankrupt in an instant.

“Lady Baren wasn’t wrong in what she said.”

At first, Helena had resented Lady Baren for urging her to break up with Aiden.
But seeing his situation, and the state of his family, she understood.
Helena couldn’t protect Aiden, and he couldn’t protect her either.

“What if rumors start circulating because you’re involved with me? You might never become a personal physician. I’ll be the shackles that drag you down until the day you die.”

Of course, Helena was grateful that he wanted to stay by her side.
But she wasn’t entirely happy.

She had known from a young age the harshness of reality.
Eskel was no easy situation.
Even with the best plans, things rarely went according to them.
Romance might have made the world beautiful, but it was something that had been hard to find in her life.

That was why Aiden’s words were both heartwarming and sad to her.
Bringing someone like him, full of romance, into a life like hers, which lacked it…

Would he regret this decision later?
Did he expect something from her? She couldn’t offer what she once could.
The worst part was that even in this situation, she still thought about Caligo.
Even with him right in front of her, her mind drifted to someone else.

Perhaps, in Caligo’s eyes, she too was an unrealistic person full of romance.
A foolish woman, someone from Eskel’s bloodline, coming to find love and daring to hope for his affection.

Would her choices eventually lead her to ruin?
She was a fool, knowing it would lead to destruction yet still wanting to stay by his side.
Even a tiny smile from him, just being there to watch over it, would be enough for her.

“Why do you look like that?”

Aiden, noticing her downcast expression, asked.

“Do you not like it?”

“Yes.”

Helena gave a bitter smile and responded.

“I still wish you would leave.”

“….”

“I still don’t understand why you want to stay.”

“I regret the choice I made to leave you at the academy.”

“Could it be… could it be, Senior…”

She asked in a low voice.

“If you regret this choice later?”

“What?”

“If you think the choice you made at the academy was the right one, but this choice now is the wrong one, what will you do?”

“…”

“You know this is something irreversible. This is something that will affect your life.”

“It’s your life too.”

“No, it’s your life.”

Helena said.

“I may get scorned, but I’ll somehow survive, won’t I? I’ll barely manage to stay alive. But you won’t, will you? You have a family you need to care for.”

“….”

“Do you think I’ll be happy if you follow me? No, I’ll be anxious and feel guilty. I’ll worry that I’ll ruin your life.”

Her voice began to tremble slightly.

“Senior, just in case you misunderstand, let me say this beforehand.”

Despite her trembling voice, her eyes remained unwavering.

“I have nothing to offer you.”

“… I know.”
Aiden replied, his words heavy.

“But I still want to be with you.”

“….”

“All this time, I’ve lived my life for others. I became the head of my family at a young age for my younger sister and mother, and becoming a doctor wasn’t entirely my choice either. And… breaking up with you was also for the sake of other people. But now, I want to make a choice for myself.”

Helena bitterly smiled inwardly at those words.
They were thoughts she herself had when she chose to marry Caligo.

It had been a decision made purely for herself.
She had been maddeningly happy, maddeningly angry, and maddeningly sorrowful.
Even though she had heard that someone would stay by her side, she couldn’t fully rejoice.
Her life, inevitably shaped the way it had, was bitter and sad.

“Aiden.”

Aiden carefully moved toward her.
But before he could get closer, she stopped him.

“Don’t come any closer. I know you want to stay by my side, but don’t be too close. Let’s keep our distance here.”

It was a distance that he couldn’t reach even if he stretched out his hand.

“… Alright.”

“….”

“At least I’m glad I can still hear your voice.”

Aiden said it lightly, but the atmosphere hanging in the air remained heavy.

“Am I interrupting something?”

Just then, the heavy mood was broken by a voice as the door to the study opened.
It was Caligo.

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