The Price Is Revenge

Chapter 3

The hero of the Empire.
First in line for the throne.
My childhood friend and the Young Duke of Northern Light.

“Ludger?!”

“Why are you so surprised?”

It’s not every day you see someone who was dead standing there alive. It was clearly a situation that would shock anyone.

…Oh, right.
I’m dead too.

It felt oddly awkward to be startled by a ghost seeing another ghost.

‘Is he really a ghost?’

Curious, I glanced down at Ludger’s feet. His polished dress shoes were firmly planted on the ground. That was strange. I had heard that ghosts didn’t have feet. His toes were not blurred. Now that I think about it, I was also standing solidly on the ground.

Are real ghosts different from what I imagined?

Ludger, who had been examining me with a skeptical look, slowly approached and stood in front of the gravestone. He seemed to have a specific purpose.

To avoid disturbing him, I remained silent as Ludger began to recite a prayer.

“May those who have departed from this world no longer suffer, and be cherished.”

It was a prayer meant to comfort the souls of the dead.

Seeing him visiting the grave brought back a memory from the past. There was a time like this.

After the funeral, I used to tell the maids every day,

“I want to see my parents.”

I would announce my intention to visit the cemetery. Since the estate would be turned upside down when I disappeared without a word, the maids would worry and follow me with concerned looks.

Afterward, I would occasionally visit the cemetery quietly in the morning. The maids never asked where I was going. The morning estate was busy, and the servants guessed my destination.

If they were worried, they would follow me quietly, or they would just let me spend time alone.

But that day was different.

I sneaked out of the estate late at night when everyone was asleep. It was an unusually sorrowful night, and the quiet darkness constantly reminded me of my solitude, making it hard to sleep. The overwhelming loneliness kept tormenting me with the thought of wanting to see my parents.

Eventually, I arrived at my parents’ grave after leaving through the main gate. I hesitated upon seeing a visitor but…

Ludger had come to find my parents while avoiding the eyes of others. His presence was unusual, and he had not appeared at the funeral. Instead, he came secretly to offer his condolences.

At that time, I felt awkward around my childhood friend whom I hadn’t seen in a long time, and couldn’t muster a single word.

I just stood silently beside him. It felt like meeting again as it was that day.

‘Huh? He’s wearing a uniform inside?’

I narrowed my eyes and carefully scrutinized him before me. At that time, I was overwhelmed by the grief of losing my parents and couldn’t properly observe him. But now that I’m dead as well, and I’ll soon be able to see my parents, I focused on Ludger, who was quietly praying for their souls. Suddenly, I noticed what he was wearing.

He was dressed in the uniform of a knight heading into battle. It looked tattered and dirty, as if he had just returned from the battlefield.

‘Why in such a state…?’

It seemed he might have looked like this in the past too.

‘Did he come here, exhausted, straight from the battlefield to visit my parents’ grave?’

While waiting for him, I nodded to myself. Back when Ludger and I were childhood friends, he naturally met my parents often. Maybe that’s why, despite our long separation, he came to greet me like this, just as he had come to bid farewell to my parents before.

“…Thank you for coming.”

The moment I spoke the words I hadn’t said before, I felt a sense of relief. It seemed that I had been holding onto the fact that I never thanked Ludger in the past.

“It was only right to come. They were important to me too.”
He responded calmly.

I had thought he might be a ghost, but soon changed my mind. It felt as though he was here now to make up for the words I didn’t say before.

‘It really does seem like a mirage.’

A vision seen by the dead to resolve lingering attachments—just like my current situation.

My parents had welcomed young Ludger’s visits. Perhaps that was why he felt grateful.

“They would have been happy. They missed you because they hadn’t seen you for a long time.”

He didn’t answer. I understood Ludger’s position. Being despised by the Emperor, it must have been even harder for him to visit my parents while alive.

An awkward silence ensued. It was an uncomfortable situation, but I didn’t mind.

‘After all, it’s a mirage.’

It was just a memory that would soon vanish like a mirage, along with my soul.

Thinking this might be the last chance to see Ludger clearly, I stared at him. It was the final opportunity to hold him in my eyes. Not only because I faced death, but also because this meeting was the last one from the past. No one else could meet Ludger anymore. He had died in the war with the Baltara Kingdom.

He looked at me intently with his blue eyes. The first to speak was Ludger.

“Do you have something to say to me?”

What is it?

It strangely felt like the conversation was flowing on its own. I wondered where the end of this mirage was.

Curious but determined, I wanted to make the most of this opportunity.

I had needed him all along. I realized this only after he had died.

“Your Grace, the Young Duke of Northern Light.”

In my surprise, I called out his name, but we were no longer the children who played in the fields together.

“I have something to tell you.”

“Go ahead.”

I had been speaking casually, but now that I was suddenly using formal language, Ludger remained unperturbed.

“It seems like this conversation might take a while. It would be better to move to a different location.”

“Where to?”

It was drizzling, so the nearby bench was out of the question. Going to a nearby teahouse would be inappropriate given his attire. And going back to the mansion would surely cause a commotion.

Ludger made the decision.

“It’s late, so it would be best to return to our respective homes. If you really have something to say, send me a letter. I’ll be staying in the capital’s mansion for a few days.”

While I was lost in thought, Ludger began preparing to leave.

‘No.’

Ludger suggested communicating through a letter, indicating that he wouldn’t meet me again after today. Feeling like a drowning person grasping at a final lifeline, I clung to the hem of Ludger’s coat. He looked at me intently.

I didn’t understand why I felt so desperate. It was all just lingering regrets from the past, yet seeing Ludger wait quietly without brushing off my hand made me even more anxious.

It seemed he was willing to listen to me.

“I think it would be best to have the conversation at the Northern Light mansion.”

He raised an eyebrow. Given the situation, it did seem quite unusual. A single woman wanting to visit an adult man’s mansion late at night—if I were in my right mind, I would never have said such a thing.

But what does it matter? This is a memory steeped in regrets. In this dream where no action is judged, I could do whatever I wanted.

So, I spoke freely without caring about propriety or others’ opinions. The problem was, he didn’t react.

He just stared at me silently, and I felt sweat trickling down.

“Ugh…”

Despite my determined efforts, facing Ludger’s calm gaze made me feel somehow embarrassed. Defeated by his stare, I eventually released my grip on his coat.

“…”

Now free, Ludger walked calmly towards the outside of the cemetery. Watching his retreating figure, I shook my head vigorously.

‘Be bold, Tessa!’

I was the owner of this mirage!

So I could act according to my desires.

I hurried to follow him, fearing I might miss him.

* * *

The scent of herbal tea, mixed with dried flowers and fruits, gently wafted through the air. I picked up the teacup poured by a maid from the Northern Light family, inhaled the aroma, and took a sip. It felt like my body, wet from the drizzle, was warming up.

Having successfully chased Ludger and arrived at the Northern Light mansion, I felt a sense of relaxation, as if the tension from completing my task was causing my entire body to ache. My physical state was similar to how I felt right after my parents’ funeral.

After the funeral, I had been mourning and distressed, so the fatigue had built up.

‘This feels too real. I need to finish this quickly.’

I felt like I might really lose consciousness from exhaustion.

When I closed my eyes, according to the natural order of the dead, my soul and the mirage would disappear.

So, I needed to conclude my final regrets.

To clear my mind, I took another sip of tea and set the cup down.

Ludger, who had been silently observing, finally spoke.

“You have something to tell me. First, let’s send the maid away.”

“It’s alright. Um, I’ve been so out of touch with time lately… Could you tell me what today’s date is?”

“March 17, 133rd year of the Empire.”

Time was more pressing than I had thought. Exactly one week from now, Ludger would be heading to the battlefield with the Baltara Kingdom. Less than a year later, news of his death would spread throughout the Empire.

I had regretted not being able to prevent Ludger from going to war for my entire life.

‘If Ludger were alive, he would have already removed Cesar.’

He was the only means to bring Cesar down.

Ludger of Northern Light.

His claim to the throne was first in line.

In an Empire where the eldest son inherits the throne, Ludger, as the only child of the previous Emperor, was the legitimate successor. By all principles, Ludger should have succeeded the throne as the next Emperor.

However, due to his unique background, the current Emperor became Arzen, the sibling of the previous Emperor. Even though it was a legitimate succession, Ludger was a threat to Arzen’s legitimacy.