Chapter 08
If One Works Hard Enough, Even a Scoundrel Can Succeed (1)
Riding a tricycle while playing a flute—life is completely enjoyable.
Today again, I wandered around the imperial palace, relishing life without studying.
My beloved elephant slide was guarded by the palace guards, whom I relentlessly pestered to watch over it. With that assurance, I freely roamed outside.
The maids who attended me seemed to suffer from following me around, but I had resolved to live recklessly, so such trivial things didn’t concern me.
“Oh! A pig!”
Who is this? Isn’t it my fellow who faced execution by dismemberment!
That guy, unlike me, was the finance minister of this country, executed without any injustice.
He was caught embezzling a sum equal to the nation’s additional budget during the emperor’s reign, and his crime was exposed, so he was torn apart before me.
I wasn’t sure if it was intentional or not, but seeing that made my fear worse.
When they tied me up with a bull, I was so scared I almost wet myself.
“Your Highness, it’s not a pig; it’s the Finance Minister.”
“Oh, right. A pig.”
I burst into laughter and forced the minister and those around him to laugh along with me.
Ah, it’s great being the second most powerful person in the empire.
Power tastes sweet, doesn’t it, pig?
“What brings you here? The Treasury is no place for the young prince to play.”
“Isn’t the palace the playground for the rightful heir?”
“That’s not what I meant…”
“How dare you! Do you challenge the legitimacy of the rightful heir?”
Oh dear, kneeling like that with your body—you’re going to ruin your joints.
Get up quickly; you need to use those knees for the rest of your life.
“I overstepped, Your Highness. Of course, the rightful heir can go anywhere.”
“Very well. I forgive your insolence with a magnanimous heart.”
“Your grace is immeasurable.”
Now then… Since we’ve met like this, should I bring up what I’ve been meaning to say?
“Pig.”
“Minister, Your Highness.”
“I know you’ve been taking bribes.”
I opened my mouth wide, making a “Ahhh” sound like a coin slot, and the finance minister laughed awkwardly, pulling out a 500 Rakhma coin from his pocket.
“Are you mocking me?”
“Your Highness already knows the value of money, I see.”
The pig laughed, and those around him followed suit. After chuckling for a while, the pig took out a 100,000 Rakhma bill, the largest denomination in the empire’s currency, and handed it to me.
“With your wisdom, the future of the empire is bright.”
“Pig, you’re playing cheap.”
So, he’s mocking me for asking for a bribe, huh?
Do I look like someone who would settle for just 100,000 Rakhma?
I rammed my tricycle into the back of the pig’s leg and turned the handle.
I’ll show this pig what’s up so he’ll pay me the proper amount next time.
I arrived at a political prison where I had received help before, dragging along my entourage of servants.
The criminals here were all loyal subjects who respected the rightful heir.
Zooming down the slope next to the stairs on my tricycle, I was greeted by the prison guards as I searched for someone.
“Pink Pig! Is there anyone here who holds a grudge against the finance minister?”
Anyone who has a grudge against that guy, raise your hand quickly! Provide me with information, and the rightful heir will avenge you!
“What business do you have with the finance minister?”
“Oh! There is someone!”
When I stopped in front of a prison cell, I saw a familiar silhouette, one I had just seen earlier.
Pinkish hair, soft flesh, a figure like a marshmallow. He looks exactly like the greasy finance minister, just cleaner.
“Are you his relative?”
“How did you know?”
Anyone could tell, you fool.
Impressed by my ability to recognize him just from his silhouette, the man approached the bars, then burst into laughter when he saw me.
I decided to whip the marshmallow first, commanding him to show his hand. He obediently complied, receiving the whipping and listening quietly to what I had to say.
“Is that so? Your brother isn’t coughing up any bribes?”
“Brother?”
“Yes, my eldest brother. I’m the youngest, and there are three others between us.”
Oh wow, your mother worked hard during tough times.
After I praised his mother for producing valuable citizens for the empire, the man thanked me, deep in thought.
“My brother is quite careless, so there are plenty of weaknesses to exploit.”
“Ohhh.”
To call someone who embezzled a year’s worth of national budget careless—this guy might actually be competent.
When I asked, intrigued by his foresight, the man humbly replied that since it was family, it was easy for him to see through.
“I see. So, how much do you want him to cough up?”
“Hmmm…”
I hadn’t really thought about that. I don’t need that much money; I just want enough to buy whatever I want.
“Recently, there’s been a trend among the commoners.”
“Yes.”
“They’re into things like Ferris wheels and bumper cars.”
“One invitation should suffice.”
“Ohohoooo!”
Wow, this guy is a genius! I love this pig!
He told me that, like other nobles, the finance minister has a secret lover, but his official wife is terrifying.
Since he married into a family that serves a revered god, he couldn’t stand up to his wife at all.
If I invite the finance minister and his lover to a tea party hosted by the princess, the pig would be so frightened that he would grovel before me, begging for mercy.
“Brilliant plan!”
“Thank you for the compliment, Your Highness.”
“What is your name?”
When I asked, the soft marshmallow gracefully knelt on one knee and responded respectfully.
“I am Tarquinus Krishna, Your Highness.”
“Tarqui, Talcu…”
Why is your name so hard to pronounce? My tongue’s getting all tied up.
I sighed deeply and looked at the man.
Sorry, but I can’t call you by your name until my tongue loosens up.
“Marshmallow.”
“…”
“Marshmallow.”
“…Yes.”
I told Marshmallow that if he ever needed anything, he could use the people of the princess’s palace.
Now that I think about it, I had forgotten to arrange for his release. I’ll have to drop by the legislative office on my way out and throw a tantrum.
I played my flute and declared that I would take my leave. The prison echoed with shouts of “Farewell, Your Highness!” as I left.
Three hours after I sent out the invitation, the finance minister came rushing to the princess’s palace.
Lying on a gold-encrusted chair in the audience chamber, I greeted the pig, who nervously asked what I wanted.
“I don’t really want anything.”
“Please, command me, Your Highness!”
“These days, what’s trending among the commoners outside the palace?”
“Yes, Your Highness!”
“Ummm, things like Ferris wheels…”
“…Pardon?”
“Bumper cars, tea parties, things like that…”
“…”
“Those are popular, aren’t they?”
Feigning innocence, I watched as the pig, terrified, banged his head on the marble floor, promising to start construction immediately.
Marshmallow’s plan worked perfectly. He truly is amazing.
Feeling pleased, I enjoyed watching the construction unfold, and rewarded Marshmallow with a gold bar.
Since soft and fluffy Marshmallow never asked for anything, I could only express my gratitude in gold.
Who could possibly dislike gold bars?
