- 01. Monster in the Basement
The shadow lingers beneath our feet. Even though it’s dreadfully unpleasant to know that the shadow is being pressed beneath our feet, we cannot escape it.
Even on bright sunny days, although we can huddle our bodies up tightly, we cannot completely make the shadow disappear from under our feet. We must simply submit to our fate, be pressed firmly underfoot, and exist seemingly worthless, as if there and not there. Desi was such a presence, like that shadow under my feet.
On a bitterly cold winter day when the snowflakes were swirling, I first encountered Desi. That day, an unusual amount of snow fell, blanketing the whole world in white. The garden, the trees, the mansion—all were covered in white snow.
Outside was bone-chillingly cold, but the icy wind couldn’t penetrate the mansion. Inside the warm mansion, the sound of the wind howling and the crackling of the roaring fireplace mingled, creating a winter day that felt both cold and warm.
I watched Desi enter the mansion through the window.
Wearing a collar and barefoot, bound by chains, Desi walked through the snow-covered garden. Hot, smoky breath escaped Desi’s mouth.
Clank, clank—
With every step Desi took, the sound of chains clinking echoed. I wanted to see that sight up close, so I went out to the living room. Desi looked neither fully human nor fully animal. Jagged hair hung messily, obscuring the face, and the body was hunched over. There were many wounds all over the body, and it was emaciated. The clothes were so dirty that they seemed to serve no purpose.
But even in this unappealing appearance, the faint yellow eyes flickered ominously.
Somehow, the sight sent shivers down my spine. I glanced at Uncle, who was also watching Desi. With a deeply disgusted expression on his face, he grimaced. He quickly went into his room as if he didn’t want to get anywhere near that dirty thing.
Uncle fled, but I stayed put. Curiosity got the better of me. Dragged along by the servant, Desi stopped in the middle of the hall and breathed heavily. The exhausted sound of breathing, flowing out in various colors from deep within, resembled the sound of a horse running after being whipped for a long time.
When Desi stopped, the servant pulled the leash roughly. But Desi didn’t flinch. After the servant pulled the leash two more times, Desi finally took a step forward. Desi dragged his feet towards the stairs leading downstairs.
“Don’t ever get near that thing. It might spread diseases.”
Father warned me sternly as he ruffled my hair. Even though Desi was nearby, Father said those words.
Without answering, I only watched Desi, and Father grabbed my arm tightly. His large hand gripped my arm so tightly that it hurt. Tears welled up in my eyes involuntarily, and I shook my head, trembling.
When Father’s hand touched my body, it hurt anywhere. But I couldn’t let out even a small whimper. It was always like that. It felt like a stone was lodged in my throat, and my breath got caught in my throat. I didn’t know how to make trouble or how to make noise.
Father gave the child a word that meant trash, scraps, and debris that day. Trash, scraps, debris – Desi.
I didn’t think that name suited the child at all.
The child was so dirty that you couldn’t bear to look at him, but his eyes shone like gold coins, and his expression was beastly and intimidating. He seemed like a wild animal that could survive even if thrown into the forest.
Why Desi came to our house, why Desi received worse treatment than the maids and servants. I had too many questions, but no one would tell me.
Everyone made surprised faces, put their index fingers on their lips, and widened their eyes in alarm. They told me not to mention such things to the Count, that he would surely get angry if I did, and told me not to be curious.
So I stopped asking the servants about Desi. I didn’t want to anger Father. If Father got angry, I had to hunch my body helplessly.
When Father started shouting, my chest would shrink, and my body would tremble uncontrollably. I often felt breathless with sorrow, and I would sob and sob.
So I secretly approached Desi, avoiding the eyes of others. The first time I approached Desi was when winter was gradually melting away.
As the snow piled up on the roof melted and froze again, long icicles formed on the door. There was the sound of thick ice cracking by the riverbank. The weather was getting warmer little by little, but the servants still lazily sat by the roaring fireplace.
I let out a shallow breath and secretly went downstairs to the basement. Since sunlight didn’t reach the basement, it felt a few degrees colder. I felt tense in the gloomy atmosphere, and my heart tightened. But I didn’t stop walking towards the basement.
Desi looked dirty, smelled bad, and seemed dangerous, but I couldn’t leave him alone. I was struggling with loneliness and boredom. I spent such boring days in the basement living with Desi, I couldn’t stand it without seeing Desi living in the shadowy basement.
First of all, I had no friends. My sister, who had taken care of me, was attending the academy, and my two older brothers found me very annoying.
And Father had a sensitive part like a person with obsessive-compulsive disorder, so he hated it when other people visited the mansion. So the mansion was always quietly asleep.
But I couldn’t play with my peers either. Father didn’t like me playing with the commoners. Not to mention the commoners, he taught me that I should only play with the children of noble families with deep lineage and wealth.
But those great noble children wouldn’t play with me, so I was always alone. So, I couldn’t pretend not to know the presence that appeared to me, lonely and bored.
So I reluctantly stepped on the last stairs of the basement. And as soon as I saw the black object lying in the corner of the basement, I was so surprised that I gasped and swallowed my breath.
“Hup.”
Despite my curiosity about Desi, the situation with Desi wasn’t good for playing with me.
Desi was all red, as if beaten all over his body. He was so badly injured that he couldn’t even open his eyes.
Desi wore a heavy iron necklace, and because of that, the flesh around his neck was swollen. His wrists and ankles were also chained with iron shackles. The chains were firmly anchored to the wall, making it impossible for Desi to move more than a meter. Desi lay on the cold floor of the basement, barely breathing.
I was frightened by the sight and ran away. I felt like I was facing someone’s dying breath. It was pitiful and terrifying at the same time. Just witnessing someone’s death engulfed me in fear.
That was our second meeting, Desi and mine. I saw Desi trembling alone, and that intense memory completely changed my image of Desi.
I couldn’t sleep for several days due to the shock. The pitiful sight of Desi haunted me like a nightmare. In that cold basement, Desi seemed to freeze to death.
I lost my appetite and became weak from lack of sleep. My mind was so troubled that I couldn’t bear it.
I had no choice but to head back to the basement where Desi was. I couldn’t ignore the Desi in the basement, which bothered me.
This feeling was similar to when the beloved songbird died in the past. The day the songbird died. My sister covered the dead songbird with a clean handkerchief. And she asked me if I would like to see the dead bird under the handkerchief or just let it go. I hesitated. I felt sad and nervous, and I couldn’t breathe. Summoning up courage, I lifted the handkerchief and found the cold dead bird underneath.
I felt the tension I had felt just before lifting the handkerchief again. I stood in front of the basement, struggling. But just like when I lifted the handkerchief, I made the same decision again.
There might be something even worse than a nightmare waiting at the bottom of the dark stairs. I suppressed my fear and took a step forward.
The basement stairs, which I had descended with light steps, felt like I was being dragged down heavily for the second time.
When I reached the bottom of the basement.
“Growl.”
I heard a beastly cry. Desi was glaring sharply with his yellow eyes. Drooling and letting out a fierce growl. Although he was growling fiercely at me, I felt greatly relieved. How lucky I was that he was growling at me.
I was worried that Desi might have frozen to death, so just knowing he was alive made me feel relieved. I didn’t care at all that Desi was wary of me.
“He’s alive. Thank goodness,” I sighed with relief.
Clank, clank-
Desi shook his body as if he were about to pounce as soon as I appeared. But he couldn’t break free from the iron chains firmly attached to the wall.
I couldn’t get close to his sinister gaze, so I had to watch from a distance. No matter how dirty his temper was, he couldn’t stay still for a moment as he kept his guard up. The more Desi struggled, the tighter the leash around his neck became, and the wounds worsened.
I was worried that Desi would hurt himself more. My chest tightened with the fierce actions of the ferocious Desi, and I hurriedly ran out of the basement.
Desi was as fierce as an untamed beast. But perhaps because of his painful appearance lying on the cold basement floor, his fierce demeanor felt like a baby kitten puffing up its fur to hide its fear. It was terrifying.
I wanted to get closer to Desi. I started to wonder how I could calm down that scared beast, what I could do to break down his guard.
To get closer to Desi, I often went down to the basement where he was. But Desi was usually either sleeping or groaning in pain. It was because of Father’s beatings.
I couldn’t get close to him when he was awake, but when Desi closed his eyes, I could get a little closer than usual.
I looked down at Desi, who couldn’t even open his eyes and whimpered, and trembled as I saw his injured wounds. Even though I wasn’t the one hurt, my body shivered for no reason. I found myself wiping my neck as if my throat was dry.
Then one day, I heard the sound of Desi’s belly rumbling as he stared at me without a trace of leniency. Even though I was quite far away, the sound was so loud that I could hear it clearly.
“What’s that sound?”
“Growl.”
I tilted my head, and as soon as I finished speaking, Desi’s ears flattened and his voice became softer. Did he feel embarrassed now? I noticed Desi’s slight change and chuckled quietly.
From then on, every time I went down to the basement, I brought food with me.
While Desi was asleep, I carefully placed bread and snacks hidden in my pocket next to the snoring Desi. I also brought a thick blanket.
Would he be surprised when he woke up? Would he enjoy the food again this time? I chuckled to myself as I carefully placed food and snacks next to the sleeping Desi every day.
I couldn’t help but laugh at the thought of Desi’s face when he woke up. Desi, who always wore an expressionless and ferocious face, would look really funny when he was surprised.
So, despite the fact that it wasn’t true that I took care of Desi’s feeding, Desi wasn’t as happy to eat as he was receiving shabby treatment. The servants always gave Desi leftovers or scraps.
They said Desi shouldn’t grow any more. They said it would be very dangerous if Desi’s size increased. Since Desi would grow bigger with each meal, they said he needed to be starved. I pursed my lips at those words.
But wouldn’t he surely be hungry if he ate so little? There’s always rumbling thunder in Desi’s stomach. Even if I skip one meal, my stomach shrinks and I feel very uncomfortable. How hard must it be for Desi? Isn’t it too pitiful for Desi, who can’t even eat delicious food? I thought.
I always found it strange how Desi was treated, but everyone said it was natural. They said Desi should be treated that way. They said Desi should be treated differently because he wasn’t like us, he wasn’t human, so he shouldn’t be treated like one.
Somehow, those words gave me chills. The more I looked at Desi, the more I felt he was human. He walks on two legs, eats food, and breathes like a person. His eyes are in their right place, and his mouth is in its right place too.
Although his fangs were sharp when he opened his mouth. Although his hair covered his face and was tangled. Although his ears looked a little strange. Other than that, he was a perfect person. Who wouldn’t be deserving of human treatment?
I was surprised by those words and swallowed my breath, and the maid laughed softly.
“Don’t pity him. Our young lady is too innocent and kind-hearted, so she tends to worry about unnecessary things. But because he looks like a person, doesn’t mean he is one, so there’s no need to pity him. Someday, the young lady will realize that Desi is not human and will be able to let go of her sympathy.”
But those words only made me more curious.
What on earth is Desi? What is the identity of Desi, who only lives groveling under our feet underground?
I couldn’t stop observing Desi because I was so curious. Even if Father was scary, I couldn’t suppress the curiosity that came out relentlessly. My curiosity tormented my mind like an unruly mischief, persistent and unyielding.
Curiosity like a mischief eventually led to a reckoning.
That day was the day Desi was periodically beaten. Father said Desi needed to be tamed by force, so he beat Desi regularly.
Desi smelled very bad, so when he came out of the basement, he was immediately dragged to the backyard. Father punished Desi in the backyard. So I could hide in the backyard and watch what happened to Desi, but I never watched it to the end. It was too terrifying and scary to watch Desi being punished, so I couldn’t watch for more than five minutes and always ran away.
