My Child is Dead

 

“In exchange for my help, you must pay a price.”

“If I can see my child again, I’ll do anything.”

“When someone who knows you’ve returned to the past appears, you must grant that person one wish.”

“One wish?”

I wanted to ask more about “that person,” but the sorcerer spoke quickly.

“Of course, I cannot tell you anything about them. You just need to decide when you wish to return to the past.”

I wanted to return to the past immediately.

There was no telling if the sorcerer might change his mind and disappear.

“Send me back to the past right now. Okay?”

“I will do so.”

The answer came so easily, as if he firmly believed I would fulfill the condition he had mentioned.

Because of that, I couldn’t help but ask him a question.

“Wait. Do you really trust that I’ll fulfill that condition?”

“You will inevitably meet ‘that person,’” he replied with absolute certainty.

After saying that, the man resumed the conversation. As if he was trying to change the subject.

“Don’t worry. That meeting won’t be a significant problem.”

After saying that, he returned to the main point, as if steering the conversation back on track.

“As for returning to the past, Lady Riley, there is nothing specific you need to do.”

“…Alright.”

“Lie down right there, close your eyes, and count to one hundred in your mind. When you open your eyes, you’ll be back in the past.”

“I understand.”

As I lay down on the bed, I thought to myself.

‘Am I letting this stranger sway me too easily? I’ve never heard of a spell that can take you back to the past…’

But I was so heartbroken, to the point where I wanted to die.

Even if this man had ill intentions, even if I were to die right now, I didn’t care anymore.

In fact, I might even be glad to die peacefully.

To escape the pain of life, I would have to endure a pain equal to it to die, after all.

That was my reality—that even taking my own life would require me to face immense pain.

As I lay there, limp and powerless, someone’s fingertips touched my hand.

The hand that approached silently belonged to the sorcerer.

I was momentarily startled by the sudden contact, so I watched to see what he intended to do.

The sorcerer firmly grasped my hand.

His warm touch was oddly comforting, as if it were soothing my troubled heart.

“I have one last thing to say,” he said.

“What is it?”

“Be happy. I want to see you happy.”

“Will we meet again?”

“If fate allows, there’s no reason we can’t.”

The man continued in a whisper.

“That’s enough idle talk. Begin counting.”

As instructed, I started counting silently in my mind.

‘1… 30… 61, 62… 66.’

When I reached that point, I felt a strange force enveloping my body. At the same time, my senses began to fade.

The sensation on my skin dulled.

The wind that brushed against my body disappeared, and I could no longer smell anything.

The last to fade was my hearing. A deafening silence swallowed me whole.

I could no longer count. No, I couldn’t count even if I wanted to.

‘When I open my eyes again, the world will be completely different.’

I knew it instinctively.

 

☪︎ ִ ࣪𖤐 𐦍 ☾𖤓 ☪︎ ִ ࣪𖤐 𐦍 ☾𖤓

 

The man stared intently at Riley’s face as she lay with her eyes closed, looking as if she had fallen asleep.

A soft, glowing light began to emanate from the man’s hand, which was still clasping Riley’s.

What started as a small flicker of light soon grew in size, large enough to engulf her entire palm.

That light quickly spread, enveloping Riley’s entire body.

The once-dark surroundings brightened considerably with the great wave of light.

As the man, standing still and performing the spell, completed his work, his body wavered.

A single drop of cold sweat trickled down his forehead, showing the strain.

The spell to send someone back to the past…

Even for a renowned sorcerer like him, it was a life-draining ritual.

He had cast a spell on Riley that could potentially cost him his own life.

“Hah…”

As the man finally removed his hood, his hidden beauty was revealed.

Jet-black hair, eyes darker than the depths of night, skin so pale it seemed almost translucent, and lips a striking crimson.

Every time he blinked, his long eyelashes quivered slightly.

He was an alluring man, exuding a strange, decadent charm.

He gently stroked Riley’s withered cheeks a few times, now bathed in the light.

“Riley.”

His voice was different from when he had spoken to her before.

It was clearer, purer.

He had disguised his voice through magic, deceiving Riley all along.

“We’ll meet again soon.”

A smile formed on his face as he spoke words that sounded more like a promise.

 

☪︎ ִ ࣪𖤐 𐦍 ☾𖤓 ☪︎ ִ ࣪𖤐 𐦍 ☾𖤓

 

Though it was just one sea crossing, the wind of the Ramsey Empire felt frigid.

Henderson, standing on the deck, pulled his coat tighter and let out a quiet breath.

His gaze remained fixed on the blue horizon.

The Lopez Empire, which could be reached after a full day’s journey by ship, felt particularly distant today.

Perhaps it was because of her—Riley.

She had always been weak to the cold, ever since childhood, due to her fragile heart.

With her already fragile state further weakened by the loss of Eddie, Henderson feared she might collapse.

He had heard she had fainted several times on the day Eddie died.

Henderson felt a growing sense of unease.

He regretted leaving her behind at the duchy.

Even though it was the emperor’s order, Henderson thought he should have stayed at the duchy for a few more days.

Gripped by guilt and regret, he clenched his hands tightly.

The fact that he had to leave for a foreign country, even after his child’s death, because he couldn’t defy the emperor, made him feel worthless.

It had been almost eight years since he became a duke, but at this moment, he felt no different from who he was eight years ago.

A duke in name only, the emperor’s dog…

The words people used to describe him remained unchanged.

It felt as though everything he had done over the past eight years to gain recognition had been for nothing.

The efforts of the last eight years flashed before his eyes.

The vassals who refused to acknowledge him because he was born a bastard. He had meticulously managed the duchy to win over their hearts.

An emperor who wasn’t pleased with his marriage to Riley, the youngest princess.

He did everything the emperor asked him to do to gain his recognition.

He became an envoy to the Ramsey Empire when asked, and even complied with the order to distance himself from Riley.

“One year. If, after one year of separation, Riley still loves you… then I’ll make sure you’re never troubled again. You can take it as my recognition of you.”

The emperor had said he wanted to see if Henderson’s love for Riley would remain unchanged.

Just one year… If he could endure a year apart from Riley and earn the emperor’s approval, he believed the vassals would no longer look down on him, and he could live proudly as Riley’s husband.

Henderson’s decision had been built on his certainty about Riley. He was confident that her feelings for him wouldn’t easily change.

So, he made that dangerous deal with the emperor.

But now, having lost their child, it was the first time he regretted his past decision.

“What have I been doing all this time…?”

Before the year promised to the emperor had even passed, Henderson couldn’t comfort Riley at their child’s funeral.

He wanted to hold her close, to say, “Don’t be sad. I’m here for you. Eddie has gone to a better place,” as she called out Eddie’s name with tear-stained eyes and a twisted expression.

He considered placing a hand on her shoulder but hesitated, conscious of the “emperor’s eyes” on him.

The year he had promised was approaching its end. He couldn’t risk everything now; he had come too far.

In the end, he was unable to offer her any comfort.

He planned to confess everything and seek her forgiveness on the day he gained the emperor’s recognition.

He was prepared to beg for her forgiveness for years, even decades.

He wanted to tell her he was sorry for neglecting her, that it wasn’t because he didn’t love her.

He earnestly hoped her feelings for him hadn’t changed.

“Henderson, it’s cold. You should go inside.”

Henderson’s head tilted back. There stood the ‘Emperor’s Eye.’

His name was Hoover Donovan with his reddish-brown hair, he had been serving as Henderson’s aide for nearly a year.

But the truth was, his real job was to monitor how Henderson treated Riley.

“Understood.”

Henderson stepped away from the precarious edge of the deck.

He wished for everything to be over quickly: the year promised to the emperor, the sorrow of losing a child, and his own situation of having to neglect Riley.

As he entered the corridor leading to the guest room, he glanced back at the vast sea.

The blue water, once just a horizon, now showed a faint outline of land.

It was the territory of the Lopez Empire, which he had longed to return to.

He was returning home earlier than planned because the tasks assigned by the emperor had finished quicker than expected.

He worried about what kind of expression Riley would have on her face.

 

TL/N: Henderson somehow reminds of Erich from AWWL. But Erich got the girl while Henderson…😔