IFLDMHF | Chapter 118

Episode 118

His head was burning, and his body felt as heavy as if it were being crushed by a boulder.

It had been a while, but even so, it was a familiar sensation.

Euclid’s childhood had always been like this.

This pain. This suffocation.

If he opened his mouth when nausea struck, he would cough up a handful of blood. When he woke up to a damp feeling in his sleep, his pillow was soaked red with a nosebleed.

His parents summoned many doctors to cure his illness.

— I’m sorry. I really have no idea what kind of disease this is…

— The child is in such agony, and yet you don’t even know the name of the disease? Is that something a doctor should say?

He had watched the same scene unfold dozens of times—his parents pleading for at least an effective painkiller if the cause couldn’t be found, and the doctors shaking their heads.

The answer to the illness that no one could diagnose came, unexpectedly, from the Tower Master who visited one day out of the blue.

— This is a painkiller. It won’t control the magic rampaging in that small heart of yours, but at least it will block the pain… Just so you know, it’s not free.

Despite the Tower Master’s blatant demand for money like a miser, his parents happily paid a fortune.

‘Even though the ducal family’s finances aren’t in great shape…’

Even as a child, Euclid couldn’t be entirely happy, even though they had found a medicine to ease his pain.

The Tower Master’s medicine wasn’t a cure.

It was merely an expensive painkiller that dulled the suffering of a frail son who wasn’t even the heir.

They had discovered the cause of the disease, but in reality, he was terminal.

Euclid felt bitter and resentful about why this had happened to him.

But that childish sorrow was fleeting. The pain in his heart was his only reality.

Crying from the piercing agony, gasping for breath, writhing in pain. Eventually, he would be too weak to shed tears, too weak to even open his eyes, spending his days lying in bed.

Would there still be a reason to live? Especially when he was becoming nothing but a burden to his family?

Why? For what?

— Euclid, even so, I want you to live.

Yet, the desperate hope and concern of his family reached Euclid’s heart.

Especially after learning that the ducal family was going to great lengths to hide his illness from the outside world for his sake, he no longer entertained weak thoughts.

Instead, he reproached himself for being too sick to even appear in public or leave behind a portrait.

And eventually, Euclid mastered the ability to completely conceal his pain, even from his family.

— Euclid, how is your health these days?

— Thanks to the Tower Master’s medicine, it’s much better.

— And magic…?

— I don’t use it at all. Don’t worry, Father.

He smiled gently at his reassured family members and then returned to his room, where he endured the pain alone, sweating profusely.

Except for when he had deliberately exposed his illness at the time of his father’s and brother’s deaths at the Ducal House of Rudion, he had hidden his suffering even in front of the Tower Master, the only one who knew of his condition.

Because no one had ever caught him before, Euclid was utterly taken aback when Evgenia witnessed him enduring his pain.

So, cowardly as it was, he almost thought that losing consciousness had been a relief.

— His fever is too high. Why isn’t it going down?

A voice faintly reached Euclid’s ears.

— Did you administer the fever reducer properly?

— Of course, Madam! It should go down within an hour.

— An hour? No, you’re saying this fever will persist for a whole hour… Ha.

Evgenia let out a long sigh, sounding frustrated.

At that moment, Euclid’s heart sank.

It felt like he had returned to his childhood.

Back to those days when his family would let out weary sighs at his stubbornly unyielding illness.

A suffocating guilt gripped his chest—the guilt of once again causing hardship for someone precious to him.

However, when he sensed someone sitting beside his bed, an unfamiliar feeling arose.

He was used to enduring and suppressing his pain alone. Ever since he was a child, he had never been taken care of.

And yet, now he was receiving Evgenia’s care, something he hadn’t even dared to expect.

He thought it was a burden, that she didn’t need to show him such kindness…

Yet, at the same time, a contradictory feeling arose—a wish for this gentle touch, which carefully placed a hand on his forehead and wiped his sweat with a damp cloth, to continue.

But then.

— I’m sorry. I was being stubborn for no reason. If it weren’t for me… you wouldn’t be suffering like this.

Hearing Evgenia’s voice tinged with tears, Euclid could no longer stay still.

He wanted to open his eyes immediately and deny her words.

To tell her no, that it was his choice to throw himself into danger to save her, and that it was never her fault.

Summoning the last of his strength, Euclid forced his eyelids to lift.

Though his vision was blurry, he could make out Evgenia’s sorrowful gaze.

“Your Grace? Are you awake?”

Seeing her startled expression, he unconsciously smiled.

Because she had touched his forehead. Because when he opened his eyes, he was not alone. Most of all, because the person who had done all this for him was Evgenia.

“My wife…”

Euclid spoke slowly, his voice filled with both apology and gratitude.

“I’m all right. If I just rest a little… I’ll get better.”

“No, you’re not all right. Your fever is burning hot. And your arm is broken. It’s all because of me. I’m truly sorry.”

“It’s not… your fault.”

Did she think he was just offering empty words of comfort?

Evgenia’s eyebrows twitched slightly as she stared at him intently. For a moment, she almost looked angry.

But now, Euclid could recognize that expression—this was what Evgenia looked like when she was upset.

After all, he had seen it up close not too long ago.

“My wife, you’re quite mischievous, aren’t you?”

He could never forget how her expression changed when he said that.

Evgenia probably didn’t know.

How fast his heart had raced when she asked him for a goodnight kiss.

How, even while berating himself for being reckless, he had been secretly overjoyed.

Emotionally, he wanted to grant her request.

But he could only utter cowardly, evasive words.

Because he still wasn’t certain that his body was fully healed.

So that night, as soon as he parted from Evgenia and returned to his office, Euclid immediately contacted the Tower Master.

And he spent the night anxiously waiting.

Because he was sure Evgenia had been disappointed and upset by his ridiculous response.

The thought that her affectionate gaze might disappear completely from the next day onward made his heart ache as if under a spell.

But fortunately, Evgenia’s demeanor remained unchanged, as if that night had never happened.

Except for one thing—she no longer came to visit his office.

Upon discreet inquiry, he learned that she had been spending time with her nephews.

He should have felt relieved.

Yet, the bitter feeling in his chest made him feel utterly shameless.

However, without realizing it, Euclid found himself eagerly anticipating the inspection tour of the duchy.

It was because he was looking forward to spending a long time with Evgenia.

But when he stepped outside, unusually excited and dressed in the clothes Evgenia had gifted him—

— My w… ife.

— Pfft!

The moment he saw her brightly smiling in front of another man, Euclid felt a pain in his heart unlike anything he had ever experienced before.

A chilling, wrenching sensation, as if a cold hand was squeezing his heart tight, coupled with a sharp, bitter ache.

He wasn’t a fool—he knew exactly what it meant.

It was jealousy.

‘…Even though I have no right to feel this way.’

Euclid felt a deep sense of self-loathing, berating himself.

Yet, his mood sank so low that he couldn’t even manage to control his expression.

In the end, failing to act as if nothing was wrong, Euclid attempted to shift Evgenia’s attention back to him under the guise of thanking her. And unexpectedly, he received a gift.

Evgenia had begun expressing herself again—no, even more boldly than before.

The resolve he had made to maintain his distance until he received confirmation from the Tower Master had become meaningless.

It was astonishing.

That Evgenia could affect his emotions so wildly with just a single word or action.

That these feelings could make him lose his rationality and cross boundaries again and again.

But nothing was more important than Evgenia’s safety.

He deeply respected and appreciated her sense of responsibility in fulfilling her duties as the Duchess, but as they climbed the cold, treacherous paths of the Ceprique Mountains, he couldn’t stop worrying about her struggles.

So when Evgenia was in danger, it was only natural that he threw himself forward.

Even if an excruciating pain surged through his arm, rendering it immobile.

Even if he had to grit his teeth and stifle his groans to keep Evgenia from noticing.

There were no regrets.

“My wife, please don’t apologize to me.”

Because he was grateful that he had been able to protect her.

Because the moment Evgenia realized she wasn’t alone and clung to him, he had been overwhelmingly happy.

And most of all…

Because he was a coward who, far too late, left a goodnight kiss on Evgenia’s forehead as she slept soundly.