I’d Rather Abandon Than Be Abandoned

**How would he react?**
Even in my wet clothes, shivering, I watched the duke. I was too curious about how he would react upon seeing Nathan for the first time.
**So he is indeed surprised.**
He stood there, dazed, with a look of shock still on his face. I completely understood. Nathan was so handsome that I was taken aback when I first saw him.
However, the duke quickly regained his composure and returned to a calm demeanor.
“Claudia, get up. You should hurry back and warm yourself.”
At the duke’s urging, I stood up as well.
“Yes, let’s go.”
His evaluation of Nathan’s appearance came only after we arrived at the mansion. He quietly beckoned me into his study while I was resting.
“I didn’t say anything because it seemed frivolous to comment on someone’s appearance, but I was actually quite worried.”
“What?”
“I couldn’t tell what kind of face was hidden beneath that thick fabric.”
The duke’s candid thoughts were like that. He remained silent because he couldn’t openly say, “He could be ugly since he’s hiding his face.” If I had known this, I should have told him in advance that Nathan was handsome.
“Weren’t you only concerned about whether he could inherit the throne? About his character?”
“Hmm, well, it’s preferable if he’s good-looking.”
Seeing the duke cough awkwardly, I couldn’t help but smile slightly.
“So, what did you think? What was your impression after seeing his real face?”
“His looks are very… charming. Moreover, it seems he cares for you.”
The fact that he wrapped a scarf around me when I was shivering from the cold seemed to earn him extra points.
Seeing his charming looks and considerate actions changed the duke’s mind.
“That’s enough for me to feel reassured about sending you off. I wholeheartedly give my blessing for your marriage.”
“Father!”
I was so overjoyed that I ran up to him and hugged him tightly, as if he were my real father.
He was taken aback by his grown daughter’s embrace. Still, he gently patted my back.
“I’m sorry for being angry before. My desire to connect you with Regis was a bit too much.”
I couldn’t bring myself to blame him in that moment.
Even though he had done terrible things like adopting Neila to become a royal relative and pressuring me to marry Regis, well, what could I do?
It was perfectly reasonable for him, the head of the duke’s family, to try to revive the family through a political marriage. At least in this world.
Moreover, given Nathan’s rather scandalous reputation, it was understandable that he might think Regis was a better choice.
I was relieved to learn that Nathan was a decent man after all.
“It’s okay. I understand.”
“Thank you for understanding. Now that it has come to this, I will fully support him.”
“Support him?”
“Yes. Until now, Nathan has kept a low profile, which has allowed us to remain calm. But now, the nobles will be divided. Those who support Nathan and those who support Regis.”
Until now, the power struggle for the throne had felt like a distant story.
But not anymore.
Because of my small choice, the empire was about to split in two.
“I’ve heard that a cold north wind is about to blow. When that happens, Nathan, whose foundation is weak, will need my strength.”
We held each other tightly for a long time before letting go.
“Thank you so much. It will be a great help to both me and you.”
I immediately returned to my room and shared this news with Nathan.
I expected he would be delighted to hear that my father had not only given his blessing for our marriage but also declared his support.
However, contrary to my expectations, he wore a serious expression throughout.
“Aren’t you happy?”
“I was just steeling myself for what’s to come. It will be a difficult path.”
“Are you having regrets?”
“No.”
In that moment, there was no hesitation in his voice.
“I’ve already decided to become the emperor. You said yourself that I must be a man who will become the emperor, right?”
“Did I really say something so presumptuous?”
I reflected on it.
“I did say that to get my father’s blessing, the man must have a claim to the throne…”
“That’s what I meant. Anyway, if I can’t marry you, it will be difficult to break the curse. It would be quite troublesome for me.”
Without meaning to, a small laugh escaped me.
In the end, Nathan saved me to break his own curse.
It was so very Nathan-like of him to remind me of that fact.
**‘Since I went through so much trouble to save you, I expect something in return?’**
I decided to work harder from tomorrow on to help Nathan break his curse.
After all, they say nothing in this world comes for free.
Just then, he carefully reached out his hand towards me.
“Let’s go back together. I’ll let you see my ascent to the throne with your own eyes.”
“Yes. I’d appreciate that.”
Perhaps it was due to the low, calm tone of his voice?
I felt a vague belief that he would indeed become the emperor.
I smiled and took his hand.
It was the moment when our fates, which had been flowing in different directions, merged into one.

* * *

Since I had received permission, I wanted to leave right away, but that was difficult.
There were many preparations to be made.
First, I gathered a lot of spirit herbs and made them into a potion.
Once I was busy in the imperial palace, I wouldn’t have time to collect more spirit herbs… so I needed to make as much as I could while I had the chance.
After securing the spirit herbs, I pressed my father.
“You said you would return Mari. Where is she?”
“Just a moment. She should be arriving shortly.”
“Is she coming? Where did Mari go?”
Instead of giving a clear answer, my father pointed to the wall clock.
“She’ll arrive right at 3 o’clock. I told her not to be late.”
The current time was exactly 2:58.
With just 2 minutes left, I crossed my arms and waited for 3 o’clock as my father instructed.
Sure enough, at the stroke of the hour, footsteps could be heard coming from the hallway.
**‘That sound… it’s definitely…’**
It was a strangely familiar sound.
As I anxiously waited, the door opened, and a girl with familiar brown hair walked in, greeting me.
“Master, I just returned from vacation. Unfortunately, the cookies you asked me to bring back have been discontinued…”
“Mari!”
I hugged her tightly.
I had genuinely worried she had been trapped or beaten somewhere.
Fortunately, it seemed my father had sent her away for a long vacation.
Her face was tanned, as if she had been playing outside.
As I held her tightly in relief, I heard my father’s voice.
“Take Mari to the palace. It will be a comfort for her when she feels weary there.”
“Me!? Am I going to the palace? Lady Claudia?”
Mari seemed bewildered to be told to go to the imperial palace right after coming back from vacation.
**‘I wonder how shocked she would be if she hears about my marriage?’**
If I told her right now, she might faint from the shock.
So, I decided to slowly reveal everything that had happened, allowing some time in between.
But before that, there was something else I had to do.
“Since it happened this way, can you come along? If you don’t want to, you don’t have to.”
Giving a choice to a commoner maid was an unusual thing here.
However, I wasn’t from this place.
I wasn’t a true noble either.
So, I didn’t want to arbitrarily take away Mari’s choice like the other nobles.
Ironically, Mari seemed to feel a bit hurt by my behavior.
“Of course I have to go! I’ll serve you for the rest of my life!! Even if you tell me not to follow you, I’ll secretly follow you to watch over you!!”
“That sounds a bit scary… Anyway, thank you. Then let’s go together.”
“Yes!!”
When I finally broke into a smile, Mari laughed along with me.
As I wiped the tears that had gathered in my eyes from laughing, the world seemed a little brighter.
It must have been because all the problems that had been blocking my path were finally resolved.

* * *

After a long journey, we arrived at the palace in the late afternoon.
The emperor immediately permitted Nathan and me to live in the same palace.
Although we hadn’t held the ceremony yet, the atmosphere recognized us as a couple.
However, there was one person who did not welcome our marriage: Regis, of course.
He was still nursing his pride because of me.
When I coincidentally ran into him in the hallway, I heard something that confirmed my suspicions.
“I hear you and my brother are already sharing a marital bedroom?

I suppose you’ve become the first woman to deceive my brother.”
“Regis, I’m not deceiving him…”
I wanted to explain, but he abruptly interrupted me.
“Do you really believe you can become empress? The nobles have already conspired against you.”
“What?”
“They see a chance to humiliate my brother now that he has become distracted with you. But there’s still time.”
“What do you mean?”
“Just look.”
Regis pointed in the direction of the courtyard.
When I turned, I saw a large crowd of nobles gathered.
They were discussing something as they pointed their fingers at Nathan’s palace.
“How dare you meddle with the crown prince? You must have a death wish!”
“Everyone has gone mad!”
“What the hell is this…?”
When I noticed Regis smiling slightly at my bewilderment, I decided to leave.
“Enough. I’ve heard your warnings.”
“Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
After saying that, I rushed back to my palace, where I confronted Nathan.
When I shared what had happened, his expression hardened.
“Does it concern me?”
“It does. I’m worried they will get rid of you.”
Nathan’s expression softened.
“Don’t worry. Nothing will happen to me.”
“What? You’re so calm…”
“I believe you will break the curse.”
“Break the curse?”
“Yes. You’ll do it.”
Nathan was already seeing me as a strong figure.
“Even if you are no longer alone, you will break the curse. Just by being beside me.”
I had thought he would be sad, but he was surprisingly calm.
“Is that how you really feel?”
“I don’t expect a person to save me from this curse. I want you to accompany me and do your best.”
I glanced at Nathan’s face, confused.
“I want to escape this curse.”
As if he was expecting me to become the empress.
It was too much to bear.
I quickly returned to my room, feeling uneasy.
Although Nathan had given me his heart, what would happen if I didn’t fulfill the expectations surrounding me?
Still, there was something more important than the emperor’s expectations:
I had to break Nathan’s curse first.
I had to become his strength, but I had no idea where to begin.
**‘What on earth should I do?’**
While I was lost in thought, Mari entered my room carrying some fresh clothes.
“Lady Claudia! What would you like me to do?”
“Uh, um… make me tea, please.”
“Alright! One moment!”
With those words, she hurriedly went to prepare tea.
I watched her with a smile.
I had no doubt that I could rely on her.
But I wanted to give her a proper role in this palace, beyond just being a maid.
After all, she was a person who would work hard.
“By the way, Mari.”
“Lady?”
“Would you like to take on a job as an assistant to me? You would be free to leave if you didn’t want to stay.”
“Really? Is that okay?”
“Of course!”
“Alright! Thank you! I’ll work hard!”
Seeing her bright smile made me happy.
The tea was served, and as I sipped it, I felt my mind slowly clear.
Now that I had the chance, I decided to explore the palace’s library.
I had an inkling that there would be records related to Nathan’s curse there.
**‘Since the curse was placed on Nathan, it must have been done in this palace.’**
In the library, I found the books that recorded the curse on Nathan.
I could feel the heaviness in my heart growing as I read the records.
**‘Is this really the reason Nathan was cursed?’**
“Lady Claudia.”
It was Nathan’s voice.
I looked up from the books, startled.
“Ah, Nathan.”
“What are you doing in the library?”
“I was looking for information about your curse.”
“Really?”
He seemed surprised, looking genuinely taken aback.
It was the first time I saw Nathan’s face express something other than his usual calm demeanor.
“If you’d like, I can help you with that.”
“I would love that.”
He stepped closer and pointed at the records I had been reading.
“This is a record that details the curse I received after my birth. I had always wondered who had placed it.”
“Does it say who?”
“Not here. The name of the person who placed it is nowhere to be found.”
I glanced through the records again and came across a passage detailing the curse’s characteristics.
“From what I’ve heard, this curse is particularly painful for the royal family. You must have a strong grudge to place a curse that would affect not just one person, but an entire bloodline.”
“That’s right.”
I flipped through the pages as Nathan narrated the background of the curse.
“Perhaps the one who placed it has a deep hatred for our family.”
“Yes.”
“Should we find out who that is?”
“I’d like to, but it won’t be easy.”
“We can try, right?”
Nathan fell silent, pondering the matter.
“Fine. Let’s do it together.”
“Really?”
“Yes.”
His response felt reassuring, filling me with determination.
We stood there for a moment, gazing at each other.
Then Nathan smiled, a soft expression illuminating his face.
“Thank you for wanting to help me.”
**‘Nathan, you have no idea how much you mean to me.’**
As I smiled back, I suddenly felt something more than just the burden of his curse.
Maybe, through this journey, I could break both Nathan’s curse and my own troubles.
We both had our own burdens.
But now, we would overcome them together.