I Will Disappear, Grand Duke

“Your Highness! What are you doing? Hold him!”

Several knights grabbed the frenzied Fernan and dragged him away from the edge of the cliff.

Despite their efforts, they had to call for more help before they could finally pull him to safety.

“Let go! Damn it!”

As Fernan threw the knights off him and tried to jump back towards the cliff, the knights blocked him with their bodies, shouting.

“Your Highness, please calm down!”

Fernan, held by the knights, looked down at the abyss with a gaze bordering on madness.

The winter wind whipped the turbulent waters below. The dark, swirling river made it impossible to see the bottom.

Nowhere could he see Julia.

From such a height, it was unlikely anyone could survive the fall. Even if someone miraculously did, they would be swept away by the current and unable to swim, soon succumbing to hypothermia.

But Fernan was in no state to make such a rational judgment.

Overcome by his emotions, he pushed past the knights and urgently mounted his horse.

He rode off without hesitation, with the knights hurrying to follow him.

“Julia, please.”

Since the moment Julia had put a knife to her own throat, Fernan had been unable to maintain his composure.

He should have stopped her. But he had been too scared, making a wrong decision.

He never thought she would actually throw herself off the cliff.

Or perhaps he was too frightened. Seeing the blood flow from her neck, he was scared that if he approached, she might really pierce that delicate neck…

So he had stopped. Thinking that if he didn’t go closer, she would stop too…

But Julia shattered his expectations by leaping without hesitation.

That image kept replaying before his eyes like an afterimage.

Fernan stared ahead like a half-madman, his lips trembling.

Reality had disappeared. His mind was paralyzed, unable to process anything.

It all felt like a dream. Julia falling before his eyes, her faint smile at the end.

The search continued day and night after that.

They scoured the forests and villages downstream from the river, and all nearby areas. But Julia was nowhere to be found.

A fierce snowstorm began to sweep through the duchy, already gripped by extreme cold.

The river Julia had thrown herself into was so cold that it was painful to even step into it for a moment.

Thus, a long fifteen days passed.

Around that time, they found a robe presumed to be Julia’s on the shore.

“…”

Fernan stared down at the soaked robe for a long time. There was no light in his eyes.

He stood alone, as if abandoned in a distant world.

“Your Highness, we will continue the search in the remaining areas. So please, at least take some rest…”

Despite the knights’ repeated pleas, Fernan did not respond.

He seemed so distant that it was impossible to tell what he was thinking.

The robe he was staring at was torn and in bad condition.

Likely, Julia’s condition was even worse, having worn that robe.

No one dared to voice this thought.

“Your Highness, if you are to continue the search, you need to take care of yourself first. You know this well.”

Finally, Lloyd, his aide, approached and spoke as calmly as he could.

Everyone was exhausted from the nonstop search, but Fernan’s condition was the most serious.

He had been searching for Julia for fifteen days without proper rest.

Fernan, without replying, started walking again towards where the horses were tied. Lloyd sighed heavily as he watched him go.

Lloyd, too, was deeply troubled by the situation.

He was the one who most acutely felt the change in his lord’s feelings toward Julia.

Fernan, who had never wavered in anything, showed a noticeable shift.

It was clear to Lloyd that Fernan had come to care for his wife, despite her being the daughter of the despised Marquis of Elodie.

For Fernan, it was probably the first time experiencing such emotional turmoil.

He had lost her before even understanding his own confused feelings, so it was understandable that he was in such turmoil. But…

Lloyd sighed deeply with a heavy heart.

Fernan’s back, as he walked ahead, looked steadfast. But to Lloyd, it seemed dangerously unstable.

* * *

A month passed without any trace of Julia.

They searched every corner of the duchy. By now, they should have at least found her body.

But it was as if Julia had vanished into thin air, leaving no trace behind.

Fernan, driven mad, had been searching relentlessly for almost a month without rest.

Despite the knights’ concerns, he remained undeterred.

He seemed to have completely blocked out the possibility that Julia might be dead, continuing to search the entire region frantically.

“Lloyd, shouldn’t we forcibly take His Highness back?” one of the knights asked Lloyd.

Lloyd, after some contemplation, shook his head.

“Let’s wait a bit longer. His Highness is human; he will eventually succumb to physical exhaustion.”

Yet, even after several more days, Fernan’s determination remained unshaken.

Watching him drive his horse with reckless abandon, Lloyd let out a sigh that seemed to come from the bottom of his soul.

Approaching Fernan, who was dismounting to check a search area, Lloyd finally spoke.

“Your Highness.”

Fernan didn’t even turn his head, but Lloyd persistently continued.

“It’s been over a month since we started searching for Her Highness. We’ve combed through all the forests near the castle and even the nearby villages.”

“…”

“It’s time to accept reality. The chances of Her Highness being alive are…”

“Shut up. If you don’t want to die.”

Finally turning his head, Fernan drew the sword from his belt.

Lloyd closed his eyes tightly but didn’t stop speaking.

“The knights are also very tired. If we are to continue the search, we must give them adequate rest.”

The knights had been searching in shifts, so it hadn’t been too taxing on them.

But the problem was Fernan’s condition.

Even if he didn’t care about himself, Lloyd hoped that mentioning the knights would make him take a break, even if only briefly.

Fernan was silent for a while, his eyes darkened, then he spoke.

“Take everyone back. I will search alone.”

“What? No, Your Highness!”

Ignoring the protesting Lloyd, Fernan sheathed his sword and resumed walking. Lloyd, in a daze, quickly followed him.

Although Fernan appeared fine, Lloyd could clearly see his unstable gait.

Lloyd, filled with concern, stopped suddenly when Fernan staggered unexpectedly.

“Your Highness!”

As Lloyd hurriedly ran over, Fernan’s body finally collapsed.

Fernan woke up before dawn, less than half a day later.

Slowly opening his eyes, he looked around blankly.

His blurred vision settled on the ceiling, then moved to a small candle on the side. It was a sleeping aid.

As he sat up, he realized he was in his bedroom.

“Your Highness, are you feeling a bit better?”

Rokman, the physician, approached and checked his complexion. Despite the drowsiness from the sleep aid, Fernan calmly muttered.

“Why am I here?”

“Your Highness, you collapsed from exhaustion during the search. You haven’t eaten properly for a long time and are sleep-deprived, leaving you in a poor state.”

“Julia…”

Fernan, half out of his mind, whispered Julia’s name. Rokman, watching him with a complicated expression, spoke calmly.

“Your Highness, you must rest first. Leave the remaining search to the knights and take just a few days to…”

Ignoring Rokman’s advice, Fernan stumbled out of bed and crossed the room.

Rokman sighed, unable to stop him.

It was astonishing that Fernan could walk out so steadily despite the potent sleep aid. It must be sheer determination to find his wife keeping him going.

Leaving Rokman’s concerns behind, Fernan stepped into the hallway.

He descended the stairs without a hint of hesitation and entered the lobby, where the steward Bennett and the servants bowed deeply.

Without glancing at anyone, Fernan opened the door and stepped out decisively.