Episode 94
“I can’t do this anymore.”
“Hilde, yes, you can. Let’s keep going, okay?”
“My back is going to break.”
Hildebrandt spoke as he covered her body with a sheet. He wasn’t actually exhausted, but he lied. In truth, it was Yvonne who was on the verge of collapsing, even as she whined for more.
He was terrified of the unfamiliar sense of fulfillment and the emotions he shouldn’t have, emotions that were starting to take root. Yet, he couldn’t bring himself to let go of them.
For so long, he had lived with the thought that he could die at any moment. But now, for the first time, he didn’t want to die. He wanted to live—with Yvonne. The warmth they shared brought him an unfamiliar sense of peace.
With Yvonne, he felt as though he could smile even in this hellish world. It was why he often forgot to stay guarded, letting his composure slip in her presence.
“You’re lying.”
“If you know I’m lying, why not just leave it at that? Three times is enough.”
“It was only three times.”
He briefly wondered whether he should even count the first, rushed moment he had lost control. Regardless, he decided to include it in the tally.
“Usually, one time is hard enough at first.”
“I guess my love is abnormal. We must be destined for each other, Hilde.”
He instinctively wanted to refute her but stopped himself.
With a deep sigh, the lukewarm clarity returning to his overheated body allowed him to survey their surroundings. Torn clothes were scattered across the floor. To an outsider, it would look as though they’d been attacked by a wild beast.
“How desperate were we?”
“Exactly. You couldn’t even wait until I was fully undressed before pouncing. You wanted it too, didn’t you?”
He didn’t deny it. From the moment she had straddled him in nothing but a negligée, his body had blatantly ignored his mind’s warnings to remain rational.
“Did you drug me or something?”
“I was going to, but I didn’t get the chance yet.”
“Sigh.”
He let out a hollow laugh, finding her brazenness both ridiculous and endearing. Watching her comb through her disheveled platinum hair with her fingers, he felt a ticklish warmth in his chest.
“Meticulous planning, huh? You’re scary.”
“It’s funny to hear that from someone who tackled me so aggressively, Your Highness.”
She teased as she climbed back onto his stomach.
“If we keep going, I might actually die.”
“Then don’t react like that when you say it.”
She settled herself more comfortably on his hips, applying pressure as she shifted. He sighed, realizing what she meant.
“Medicine?”
“I told you, I didn’t give you any medicine.”
“Not that kind of medicine. Are you seriously okay with the thought of getting pregnant?”
“I already told you, I’m fine with it.”
A pang of regret crept over him as he thought about their impulsive actions. Yvonne often acted without thinking things through, but now, he was no different.
No—Yvonne was braver than he was.
He was the one who couldn’t measure up.
“From now on, we’ll do it every day, Hilde.”
“Are you planning to regret it when I waste away to nothing?”
“Waste away? My love will keep you well-fed.”
Even as she shot back at him, he found her utterly endearing. Her pink lips, now smeared and red from him, made his chest tighten. He liked the look of it so much that he ran his finger over her lips to smudge the color even more.
Yvonne bit down gently on his finger before letting it go.
“If you say no, I’ll stop for today.”
“…”
“Do you hate it, Hilde?”
He didn’t answer. He simply looked into her languid, predatory eyes as she gazed at him.
“My husband. You’re really mine now.”
“Yes.”
Hildebrandt wrapped his arms around Yvonne as she leaned into him, holding him tightly.
* * *
“Stop moving.”
“I can’t sleep; I’m too excited.”
“Sigh.”
He considered returning to his own room but ultimately stayed. He wanted to spend more time with her.
“My arm’s going numb.”
“Just endure it, my dear.”
“We’re not even married yet, so don’t call me that.”
“What’s wrong with calling you that in the bedroom? Hilde, why don’t you call me your wife?”
Hildebrandt found that after being intimate with her, he couldn’t speak to her with the same sharpness as before. Whenever he tried to say something harsh, it felt like a lump formed in his throat, blocking the words.
Instead of harshness, he feared his true feelings would spill out.
“Well? My dear?”
“…Wife.”
“Yes!”
“Now, sleep.”
“Alright, your wife will sleep now!”
Satisfied with his response, Yvonne closed her eyes and relaxed, still using his arm as a pillow.
Hildebrandt watched her as she pretended to sleep, her violet eyes darting beneath her eyelids. Her body was covered in marks he hadn’t been able to restrain himself from leaving—bites and red blooms of passion scattered across her skin.
He sighed.
“What’s wrong…?”
Hearing him, Yvonne opened her eyes, her violet gaze shining brightly.
“Just sleep.”
“Okay.”
Obediently, she closed her eyes again.
“Hilde.”
“Go to sleep.”
“Hilde, I love seeing the marks I left on your body.”
“….”
“I’ll have to leave them every day from now on.”
Hildebrandt became acutely aware of the marks she had left on his neck and back—small bite marks and long, red scratches. Her nails, it seemed, had not been as blunt as he remembered.
“Hilde.”
“Yes.”
“I love you.”
At her words, he opened his eyes, even though he had been trying to keep them shut. She was staring at him, her lips chapped and slightly swollen, curving into a radiant smile as she gently caressed his cheek.
“Hilde, I really love you. So much.”
Thump.
His heart pounded violently, as if it had plummeted from the heavens.
“Yvonne, I don’t want to die.”
“Okay.”
For the first time, he truly wanted to live.
To live by Yvonne’s side.
The idea of dying, something he had once accepted, was now entirely discarded.
* * *
From then on, every moment they spent together seemed dedicated to confirming their love for each other.
“Really? You want to bond?”
“Yes.”
Surprisingly, it was Hildebrandt who first brought up the idea of bonding. The deeper his relationship with Yvonne became, the more he realized he couldn’t bear the thought of being apart from her. He no longer wanted to die. In fact, his attitude as a prince had begun to change as well.
Not that he was interested in the throne. He simply resolved to follow the emperor’s orders as a loyal subject, hoping to eventually succeed his father as Duke Ferrite.
That was why he could no longer sharpen his words against her or treat her cruelly.
He had once pushed her away, believing he would die and leave her behind to find happiness with someone else. But now, the mere thought of her with another man filled him with a violent rage.
“Let’s bond, Yvonne.”
“W-what…?”
Yvonne looked genuinely flustered. He had expected her to be happy, but this reaction was entirely new.
“Don’t you want to?”
“Not yet.”
“Why not?”
“I’m not sure. It doesn’t feel right.”
Hildebrandt felt a pang in his chest, as though she were suddenly pushing him away.
“Do I just need to wait?”
“Yes.”
“Alright.”
Although her expression troubled him, he decided to wait. Compared to the time she had waited for him and endured for his sake, it wasn’t much.
In fact, he was grateful she had waited for him at all. It felt like a debtor finally being able to repay even a fraction of their debt.
“Hilde, I love you.”
Her words, spoken with an edge of unease, shattered the calm he had just managed to regain.
“What’s wrong?”
“I love you, Hilde.”
They were in Hildebrandt’s office at the imperial palace. She clung to him, burying her face in his shoulder and rubbing her hair against him like a frightened child. He wrapped his arms around her in response.
“Hilde…”
“It’s alright.”
“Hilde, I love you.”
Yvonne repeated the words like a broken machine, trembling violently. Though it wasn’t unusual for her to visit his office, her current state was deeply concerning.
“What if I don’t awaken as an ability user?”
She asked the question hesitantly, but Hildebrandt already knew the answer. She was unlikely to manifest powers. Her faint magical presence marked her as a guide, not an ability user.
“You won’t be a guide.”
He spoke without realizing it.
“Hilde?”
Yvonne paused, startled by the brief flash of red in his usually blue eyes.
“Sorry. Just lost in thought.”
“Hilde, are you still under hypnosis?”
“What are you talking about?”
“Your eyes… just now…”
She trailed off, her fear evident. But when she looked again, his eyes were back to their usual clear blue, as if she had imagined the red glow.
“What about my eyes?”
“It’s nothing…”
Her reluctance reminded him of how she used to tell him she loved him whenever she looked into his eyes. He suddenly felt disappointed that she stopped speaking.
“Your eyes are as beautiful as amethysts.”
“What?”
“When I see the purple hydrangeas in the garden, they remind me of you.”
“Hilde?”
“Even the small violets scattered about make me think of you. They’re too precious to step on.”
“….”
“The times you visit the palace are set, but it feels like you’re always with me.”
“Hilde.”
He said all this in the hope of easing her anxiety, sharing the words he had always kept to himself.
“I’ll become a husband you can be proud of.”
“Ah…”
“I love you, Yvonne. Truly.”
His calm confession only made Yvonne’s unease grow. Her body trembled as her fear deepened.
“Yvonne?”
“D-don’t do this, Your Majesty.”
“What?”
Yvonne stepped back, breaking free from his embrace. Her gaze fixed on his eyes, which now glowed with the same red hue as the emperor’s.
“Why is His Majesty here in Hildebrandt’s office?”
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