Episode 84
“If I hug you, will you leave?”
Hildebrandt asked coldly.
“Let’s just try hugging first.”
“…”
When Yvonne tried to pull his hand toward her, Hildebrandt quickly yanked it back. He didn’t want her getting any closer, afraid she would notice that he’d been crying. If the emperor realized that he feared killing her, he would place an even more insidious hypnosis on him.
He thought this as he looked down at Yvonne with a cold gaze. Yet, somehow, she was already hugging him.
“What are you doing?”
“Listening to your heartbeat.”
“…”
Hildebrandt thought he should push her away as she leaned against him, her ear pressed against his chest over his clothes. But he found himself wanting to stay like this, if only for a moment.
“What could you hear through clothes?”
“I can hear it. You should try it too.”
“No.”
“Come on, try it. Then I’ll leave.”
He wanted her to disappear quickly. The emperor would surely find out she had come here, so it would be better if he heard that she had left just as quickly.
Hildebrandt regretted opening the door for her just because she mentioned wearing a bonnet. He realized that perhaps he had been the one who wanted to see her face.
“Enough.”
“Seriously, if you do this, I’ll leave for real. Promise.”
He looked at her as she released him from her embrace, wiggling her pinky finger as if to seal the promise. Her mysterious violet eyes and platinum hair matched perfectly.
Even her platinum hair, wouldn’t it look black if stained with blood?
Don’t you want to see it?
“Get away!”
The thought that crossed his mind made him shudder, and he recoiled from Yvonne.
“Hilde?”
“Are you really that dense? How many times do I have to tell you to stay away before you listen? When someone tells you to leave, you should listen instead of showing how clueless you are.”
He spoke with cold anger, but Yvonne only looked at him for a moment in surprise before smiling and grabbing his hand again, her wide eyes crinkling with amusement.
“Hilde always looks me straight in the eye when he lies.”
“…”
“Your eyes are as beautiful as a glacier.”
“…”
“Like an ice sculpture in the winter.”
As Yvonne held his hand again and leaned into him, Hildebrandt’s body stiffened. He felt a deep unease burning behind his eyes.
“I hate your hair. It’s disgusting. You look like a freak with that weird color.”
“I am a freak. And I don’t mind if you hate me, Hilde.”
“…”
“I really like you, Hilde.”
He told himself that she spoke that way because she was young. Yvonne was the cherished only daughter of the Marquess of Le Meredin. The marquess had feared his father, Duke Ferrite, and initially opposed their engagement. But when the emperor intervened, he had no choice but to accept it.
For Yvonne to love him in such a relationship seemed absurd.
Hildebrandt thought she was just indulging in the idea of becoming empress someday, using him to satisfy her vanity.
But even so, despite knowing better, he couldn’t bring himself to reject even the false warmth she showed him.
“No one has ever treated me kindly,” he thought. “So even if her warmth is fake, I can’t push it away.”
“Lord Ferrite gave me this.”
“…”
“Do you know what it is…?”
“I’m not interested. Just leave.”
“Hilde.”
“You said you’d leave if I hugged you. Do you even realize how many times you’ve hugged me now? It’s unpleasant. Just go.”
“You’re looking into my eyes again.”
Hildebrandt felt all his strength drain away as Yvonne laughed and smiled at him.
“…Will you leave if I listen to your heartbeat?”
“Yes.”
“Fine, then.”
He sighed and pushed Yvonne back slightly. Strangely, her gaze unsettled him, sending shivers through his body.
He couldn’t tell if she knew the effect she had on him, but with her warm smile, she looked almost like a fairy. Yet, in fairy tales, most fairies meet tragic ends.
Her appearance, beautiful like that of a fairy, only made him feel more uneasy.
“Can I lie down on the bed?”
“Why do you need the bed to listen to a heartbeat?”
“If I lie down, you can hear it better.”
“You were just listening while standing.”
“Ah, but my legs hurt.”
“…”
Ignoring his protests, Yvonne half-lay down on his bed, her legs dangling off the edge but her back resting against the mattress.
“I’ve changed my mind. Just leave.”
“Then I’ll just fall asleep here, okay?”
Hildebrandt found it strange how Yvonne, who formally addressed him in public, would speak casually when they were alone. Yet, oddly enough, her informal tone always seemed to bring him a strange sense of comfort.
“If we break off our engagement, you won’t be able to marry anyone else.”
“Why?”
“What will you do when rumors spread that you lay in a man’s bed after visiting his room alone?”
“That’s not what I meant. Why would I break off the engagement with you?”
Yvonne looked at him as if she genuinely didn’t understand. Hildebrandt frowned, running a hand through the hair that fell over his forehead, feeling a surge of complicated emotions.
“Wow.”
“What.”
“You’re really handsome.”
He didn’t know how to respond to her words, which stirred up something inside him.
“I like you so much because you’re handsome, Hilde.”
“…”
“Your eyes are beautiful, and so is your nose.”
“…”
“And your lips are even prettier.”
“Just go away.”
Hildebrandt thought that the emotion he was feeling must be shame. After all, if his heart was racing so wildly, how could it be anything else?
“It’s even prettier when you bite your lips like that.”
“Leave, please.”
“I told you, I’ll leave after I hear your heartbeat.”
Realizing he couldn’t win against Yvonne, he sighed deeply.
As he glanced over at her, he saw her face from where she lay on his bed, looking back up at him. She had tied her bonnet so tightly that not a single strand of hair was visible, even as she lay down.
Yet she still looked like a fairy resting on his bed.
“Hilde, come here.”
He lay down over Yvonne, resting his head on her chest. The steady thumping sound of her heartbeat came through her clothes, and he found himself feeling strangely at ease.
“How is it? I’m alive, right?”
“…”
He couldn’t shake the feeling that perhaps Yvonne knew something about the hypnosis that bound him.
Maybe that unease came from the fear that she might never visit him again—or that her eyes would never look at him the way they did now.
“Now leave.”
“It hasn’t even been a minute yet.”
“It’s been over a minute. Go.”
“No. I’ll leave in ten minutes.”
“Just leave already.”
“Yeah. In ten minutes.”
Knowing that Hildebrandt always softened despite his harsh words, Yvonne pulled his head closer, holding him gently.
“Your heartbeat is unsteady, Hilde, like someone who’s terrified.”
“…”
“What about mine?”
“Yours is…”
He almost answered without thinking, his lips moving before he caught himself and shut his mouth firmly.
“Shut up.”
Yvonne laughed and held Hildebrandt’s head even tighter. Somehow, when he lay in her arms, it felt like he could forget the hypnosis that plagued him, the constant anxiety, and his precarious situation.
“Ten minutes have passed.”
“Okay.”
Though he said that, as soon as Yvonne released her hold, the unstable feeling began to tighten around him again.
“Yvonne. Let me… hear it again.”
“Alright.”
She smiled and wrapped her arms around him once more, gently patting his back. As he listened to the gentle sound of her breathing and the steady rhythm of her heartbeat, he experienced a sense of comfort he had never felt since entering the imperial palace.
“Hilde, I really do like you.”
“…”
“I really like you.”
“…”
“So, don’t push me away.”
Without realizing it, he fell asleep in her arms. That night was the first time Hildebrandt slept soundly in the imperial palace.
—
“Ugh…!”
Once again, Hildebrandt’s memory had vanished. He clutched his throbbing head, wincing in pain. As he came to his senses, he saw a bloodied figure before him.
“Oh…”
The person lying before him was Yvonne Le Meredin.
“Goodness, His Highness the Prince…”
“Oh my, it seems he really has gone mad.”
“So the rumors were true.”
“How could he do that to his fiancée…?”
Realizing that his hands held nothing, he glanced around, confused by the situation.
Nearby, there was a cliff.
Yvonne had fallen from there.
They had been out for a hunting competition, but he couldn’t remember anything after greeting Yvonne.
‘Why would you come here? You can’t even shoot a bow.’
‘I came because I wanted to see you. Besides, I’m going to be the prince’s consort, right?’
Remembering her bold words, his heart pounded even harder.
Before him, Yvonne lay bleeding, completely still.
“Yvonne.”
Even as he called her name, she remained motionless. Her platinum hair, now soaked with blood, had turned jet black.
“Yvonne!”
He ran to her, pressing his ear to her chest, sobbing desperately.
