“Episode 15”
Ray sensed an excited atmosphere in the air. It was a morning unlike any other. While usually Mary would lazily meander around if she even got up, today she was bustling around. She brushed off the dust from the window sill, hurriedly prepared breakfast, picked and re-picked through her limited wardrobe before reluctantly settling on an outfit, meticulously combed her hair, and dabbed perfume on Ray’s hair.
“Who’s coming today?”
“Who else would it be… they’re coming. Today is the opposite.”
“The opposite?”
“Going out, outside.”
“Could it be… with Clodan?”
“Yes, that’s right.”
Ray laughed like a child receiving a present. Mrs. Mary also chuckled heavily.
“Do you like it a lot?”
“I didn’t go out much even when I lived with my parents. We were always at home…”
Mary, who was braiding Ray’s hair, sighed.
“I’d rather raise a potted plant than a daughter. Whenever I see parents like that, I wonder why they bothered to have children.”
“Wasn’t your mother like that?”
“I was the fourth daughter out of twelve siblings. How many could they have possibly birthed in a poor household like ours? It was common for me to disappear at night and be forgotten.”
“But having many siblings must have been fun.”
“Fun? When a younger sibling was born, they’d throw a tantrum for food, the space would shrink, and there would be more mouths to feed. If you were a girl, they’d be eager to marry you off as soon as possible.”
Ray imagined herself in a house full of twelve siblings. Constant interference, gossiping about what everyone ate, a house with little to eat but plenty of clothes to wear. Despite thinking it would be exhausting, there was an undeniable longing.
“Oh, by the way, any news from Haysch?”
Mary was unusually firm.
“No. Are you still worried?”
“Now there’s really nowhere else to go… I’d rather come back and ask for forgiveness.”
Regret overwhelmed Ray, with no outlet. Perhaps the thought of blood relations still lingered heavily.
“The master is very… he’s relentless. What do you think?”
Mary glanced briefly at Ray and changed the subject.
Looking in the mirror, Ray looked convincingly well-dressed with the few items available. This was where Mary’s skill shone. Realizing that they were actually going out, Ray smiled broadly.
“You look so beautiful.”
“Thank you. Now, go downstairs and see. They’re probably waiting.”
“Really?”
The departed master had been gone for a long time. Holding her yellow handkerchief, Ray quickly ran down the stairs. Though she could hear Mary’s scolding from behind, she couldn’t suppress her rising excitement.
“Clodan!”
Clodan turned around. He was different too, unlike his usual self. He wore a gentleman’s hat and a jacket in a matching color. Whenever he went out like this, he was a man whom all the girls would gather around. He gestured.
“Excited, huh?”
“Why didn’t you tell me earlier? Huh?”
The feeling of happiness was like this. Warm and comforting. Ray buried her face in Clodan’s waist like a child.
“Do you like it that much?”
“Yeah! And you, Clodan?”
“It seems you prefer sleeping with me more than anything else.”
“Is that a joke?”
While Ray was uncertain whether it was a joke or a confession, Philip, who had brought the news, was standing nearby.
“Master.”
“Is everything ready?”
“Yes, it is.”
Philip answered with a strained expression, as if he had been squeezed dry. He called someone over.
“John!”
John, who had been chopping wood in the corner, quickly ran over.
“What?”
Clodan and Ray, who were absorbed in each other, looked surprised. Despite the considerable age gap, the newly hired laborer was speaking disrespectfully. Moreover, Philip seemed unconcerned.
“Tie her up in the carriage.”
“I don’t know how to do this kind of thing.”
“You’d be so eager to eat dinner, wouldn’t you?”
“It’s not a crime to have never done it before, is it?”
Ray felt like she had heard that tone of voice somewhere before. Just as she was trying to piece together her thoughts, Clodan leaned his head on her shoulder.
“Do we have to wait any longer?”
“We’ll finish soon.”
When Clodan appeared, the confident John’s demeanor faltered. He glanced at Ray continuously as he followed Philip to tie the horses to the carriage.
“All set.”
Philip, opening the carriage door, looked at Ray and gestured for her to get in first.
“Thank you.”
“Be careful.”
“I will.”
As Ray climbed into the carriage, she locked eyes with John, who had been watching her intently. For a moment, he seemed to light up, as if explaining something to Ray, then pointed with his finger. It was the place where he chopped wood. Ray nodded in understanding.
Next, Clodan got in. He sat opposite Ray. The carriage door closed sharply. Ray, puzzled by Philip, who was ready to depart, asked a question.
“But, Clodan.”
“Yeah?”
“Who’s driving the carriage?”
“Not needed.”
As Clodan said, the horses tied to the carriage moved forward without any command. Clodan explained that they were specially trained horses, and Ray marveled, asking to see them. Clodan gladly obliged.
“Where are we going? The lake? The park?”
“We’re going to buy shoes.”
“My shoes?”
Ray lowered her head, examining the worn-out shoes she was wearing. Meanwhile, Clodan’s shoes were shining. Feeling embarrassed, Ray asked hesitantly.
“Clodan.”
“Yeah?”
“Are you doing this because you want to give me something?”
“Oh, yes.”
“It’s not because you’re embarrassed by my shoes?”
Ray smiled sadly. The more Clodan tried to help, the more Ray felt stung by her own inadequacy.
“I’m just sorry.”
“For what?”
“For everything… the mansion, the meals thanks to you, the room you gave me, the letters you taught me… I owe you so much.”
“But.”
“I feel like I can only take things from you. Even when I want to give something, I have so little to offer.”
“… … … .”
“Sometimes it’s too… painful and unpleasant.”
Ray pulled back as if hiding the shoes behind her.
“If I had met you when I had a little more, it would have been better.”
“It’s lucky to have at least one person.”
“Huh?”
“Instead of worrying about not having both of them, it’s lucky to have at least one person to give.”
Ray burst into laughter at Clodan’s seriousness.
“What kind of reasoning is that?”
“I don’t like it when you think like that.”
“Why?”
“Because it seems like you think I’m indebted to you, and it’s inevitable.”
“I… honestly, sometimes I can’t help but think about how much Haysch’s debt weighs on me. So, I wish Haysch would come back. Then maybe I could unburden myself.”
“I knew from the beginning that you wouldn’t be able to repay it.”
Wide-eyed, Ray straightened up.
“What? Why? What… what made you think that?”
“Because I wanted to look good in your eyes.”
Shocked, Ray cursed herself with the worst words she knew.
“You’re crazy.”
With a grin, Clodan pressed his lips against Ray’s.
“Is there anything worse?”
“Is it really worth losing all that money just for that?”
Clodan lifted Ray onto his lap and seated her there. Ray buried her face in his shoulder, her voice trembling.
“Do you know how much I resented Haysch? Why couldn’t I even make my brother’s heart comfortable? But why do you say that so easily?”
“Are you mad at me?”
“Not mad… just… stunned.”
“I don’t care about the amount I want to give. In the end, everything turned out well. Just by seeing you sitting on top of me like this.”
Clodan held Ray’s cheek tighter as she tried to pull away.
“If I’m good, kiss me.”
“I don’t want to right now.”
“Then bite me. Huh?”
It wasn’t like her to be stubborn. Ray hesitated, then briefly pressed her lips against Clodan’s cheek. She thought that would suffice. However, Clodan snickered and slipped his tongue into Ray’s mouth, kissing her deeply.
In the cramped carriage, moist sounds continued incessantly. Ray, initially stiffening as if to resist, gradually responded, and the air inside the carriage became suffocatingly humid.
“Um… Ah, don’t… don’t touch me.”
Clodan teased Ray’s dull reaction, lightly running his fingers over her skin. As Clodan’s fingertips grazed Ray’s thighs, her skin tingled. Sensing the imminent act, Ray tensed.
“I… I want to go back to my seat.”
“Wait.”
“Just a moment, Clodan!”
Her ankle was lifted upward. Ray, nearly lying down, struggled to pull her skirt back down.
“It’s all wet.”
“No, it’s not!”
“Don’t play coy.”
Ray couldn’t even protest. With determination, Clodan’s tongue teased Ray’s inner thighs and then gently explored her most intimate area. It was the act Ray couldn’t bear the most. Sweet moans escaped her lips.
“Ah… Mm, oh.”
“It’s too wet. I guess I’ll have to buy new underwear.”
Clodan pulled down Ray’s underwear. As the air touched her bare skin, the stimulation intensified. Clodan lightly kissed Ray’s intimate area.
“Is it very itchy?”
With seemingly no greed, he only brushed his lips against the outer surface. It was more agonizing. Ray’s sensitive area craved more, but he only teased the surface with his lips, ignoring the deeper sensations she yearned for.
“Uh, ah…”
“It’ll be torturous for you.”
“Clodan… I…”
Ignoring Ray’s plea, Clodan continued to kiss her softly. Normally, he would have pushed his tongue deeper, eagerly consuming her. But this time, he only delicately kissed the surface, ignoring the deeper desires.
This torture continued until the carriage reached its destination. Ray was about to realize his plan soon.
